Lucy's Friends
by TheLibraryWitch
Summary: A one-shot collection centred around the members of Fairy Tail, Sabertooth, Tartaros, Edolas and everything in between. 41. Untitled: Even the author really didn't know what to say about this...
1. Ship Wars

Gray could see the tension when he entered the guild hall.

The building was unnaturally silent. Not even Juvia greeted him when he entered.

Every pair of eyes in the guild riveted onto one table, intensely focused. Erza wasn't even eating the strawberry cake that sat in front of her. Gray turned his head, seeking what had caught their unwavering attention.

Lucy and Levy sat next to each other at the bar, their stools turned until they faced the other. They locked together in an intense staring contest. Neither of them blinked. Lucy's eye twitched. Everything was dead silent.

Gray crossed the guild hall, walking over to where Natsu sat at one of the tables. He stared at the pair of mages silently.

"Oi flame-brain," Gray hissed, feeling the need to stay quiet, "What the heck is happening here?"

"Lucy and Levy are scary," Natsu whimpered, nursing a large bruise on his bicep.

Gray opened his mouth to speak. Levy broke the silence first.

"Will," She growled, butting her forehead against Lucy's.

"Jem," Lucy snarled viciously, pushing Levy back.

"They got married," Levy barked.

Lucy glared fiercely at the little blue-haired mage, "They got engaged first."

"Because Tessa didn't want to hurt his feelings!"

"That is SO not true!" Lucy yelled, "Tessa was totally in love with him! MY Jem, arranging the meeting at Blackfriar's bridge. She refused Will in the drawing room!"

A visible black aura surrounded the two.

"Will was better for her!" Levy screamed back, "He wasn't going to die young and leave her a widow!"

Lucy shouted back incredulously, "He said she was no better than a prostitute! Will's a jerk!"

"He did that to keep her away! He thought he was cursed! Will didn't want Tessa to get hurt! Unlike Jem who set them both up for a fall when he died!"

"You mean he was honest with her? He told her the truth, and SHE still CHOSE to be with him!"

Lucy shoved the small script mage. Levy fell off of her chair, hitting the ground with a thud. The bluenette recovered swiftly, jumping up and tackling the celestial mage to the ground. Lucy gave an indignant shriek before she began to try to pry the shorter girl off of her.

"Wessa!" Levy cried, being thrown off of her blonde best friend.

"Jessa!" Lucy shrieked back, kicking out at the other girl.

"Wessa!" Levy screamed her battle cry again, leaping back onto the blonde.

Gray watched the two girls brawl in stupefied silence. Since when did Lucy and Levy fight? Lucy, who was always yelling at him and Natsu for their arguments, had started a fight, with her best friend, on the floor of the guild hall. Gray didn't know whether to be amazed or terrified.

The front doors of the guild hall flew open.

"Oi, what's every one so…" Gajeel barked, "Shrimp? Bunny-girl! The hell is happening?!"

Lucy and Levy didn't even bother to acknowledge his presence. They tangled together on the floor. Lucy had her hands fisted in Levy's blue hair, yanking on it viciously, and the script mage had her hands around the blonde's throat.

"What's going on?" Gajeel roared.

"Tessa belongs with Jem!" Lucy crowed, holding Levy in a chokehold.

Levy buried her teeth in Lucy's forearm, causing the celestial mage to let her go with a gasp. "Tessa belongs with Will!" She declared.

Gajeel looked at Gray pleadingly. Gray just shook his head and shrugged. He had absolutely no idea.

"Lucy and Levy are scary," Natsu whispered reverently beside him.

Gajeel growled, "That's it."

He marched over to the wrestling mages and picked them both up by the scruffs of their necks. Lucy had her hand fisted in the front of Levy's dress, and Levy had her arm pulled back to punch her best friend in the face.

"What the hell are you two arguing about?" Gajeel thundered.

Lucy stuck her tongue out at Levy, releasing her shirt front to cross her arms.

"We were reading Clockwork Princess," Levy explained, sticking her tongue out at Lucy in retaliation, "And Lucy said that Tessa should end up with Jem, but she's better with Will."

"No way!" Lucy yelled, "Tessa and Jem were made for each other!"

Gajeel squinted at the pair of girls, "So yer nearly killin' each other over fake people? The hell is wrong with you?"

Both mages snapped their heads around to look at him so fast it was unnatural.

"Fake…" Levy hissed, emanating a dark aura.

"…People?" Lucy finished, pulling her fist back.

In unison, the two crashed their balled up fists into Gajeel's chest, sending him flying into the wall. He slumped to the floor, unconscious. Levy huffed.

"The nerve of him!" She exclaimed, planting her hands on her hips.

Lucy nodded vigorously, "What is wrong with your boyfriend?!"

The script mage blushed a bright shade of red, "Lu-chan! He isn't my boyfriend!"

Gracefully sitting down on one of the barstools, Lucy smirked, "You keep telling yourself that, Levy-chan. Anyway, have you read the Divergent trilogy?"

Levy sat down on the barstool next to her best friend, "I was just about to ask you that! I cried BUCKETS at the end of Allegiant!"

Lucy clapped her hands to her cheeks, "I know! It was terrible!"

They continued chatting about one book or another, leaving the guild in a stunned silence, with Gajeel still collapsed against the wall, knocked out.

Honestly, Gray thought he would never understand girls. And he didn't think that he wanted to.


	2. Misdial

*Ring, ring*

Natsu (Groggy): Hello?

Lucy (Uncertain): Hi, Um, Sting? Hey yeah… It's me.

Natsu: What? …Lady, who are you talking to?

Lucy: Oh, I'm so sorry! Did I get a wrong number? And don't call me lady! That's impolite!

Natsu: You must've gotten a wrong number. And you're the one who woke me up at three in the morning, so you shouldn't be talking about impolite.

Lucy…I'm really sorry. I must have misdialed.

Natsu: Yeah, or that Sting guy you were talking about gave you a wrong number. He's probably a jerk.

Lucy: How would you know?! You've never met him! He wouldn't do that!

Natsu: If you say so lady. If you don't mind, I've got a test tomorrow, so I'm gonna get some sleep.

Lucy: It's Lucy.

Natsu: What?

Lucy: My name. It's not lady, it's Lucy.

Natsu: That's nice Luigi. Goodnight.

Lucy: IT'S LUCY. Honestly, how did you forget so fast? And goodnight. Good luck on your test.

Natsu: Thanks. And I'm Natsu, by the way.

*Line disconnects*

*Six months later*

*Ring, Ring*

Natsu: Hello?

Lucy: *Muffled sobs are heard*

Natsu: Hello?! HELLO?! Who is this?! Are you okay?! Is something wrong?!

Lucy: Ye-e-es! *Blows nose* Everything is wrong! *More sobs*

Natsu: Lucy?! Are you okay? What's wrong?

Lucy: I d-don't w-w-want to t-talk about-t it!

Natsu: Then why did you call me you weirdo?

Lucy: I d-d-don't know! *Sob*

Natsu: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please calm down.

Lucy: I don't wanna!

Natsu: Lucy, what happened?

Lucy: Y-you w-w-were r-right! St-Sting was a j-j-jerk!

Natsu: What did he do?

Lucy: He cheated on m-me! *Muffled scream*

Natsu: Where is he?! I'll beat him up!

Lucy: *Hiccups* *Giggles* that's sweet of you, Natsu. But I don't even know where you are.

Natsu: So?

Lucy: Never mind. *Hiccups* so, how did your test go?

Natsu: It went great! I totally beat that frozen stripper!

Lucy (Confused): Frozen… Stripper…?

Natsu: Gray. I scored higher than he did!

Lucy (Quietly): That doesn't explain anything…

Natsu: Hey, Lucy. Why did you call me about this? Don't you have friends?

Lucy: Rude! Yes, I do have friends. They're already worried about me enough though…

Natsu: Isn't that what friends are for though?

Lucy: …I guess you're right.

Natsu: Yup! That's 'cause I'm awesome!

Lucy: How does he change moods so fast?

Natsu: Who are you talking to you weirdo?

Lucy: Don't call me a weirdo!

Natsu: Yeah, whatever.

*quiet*

Lucy:… Hey Natsu?

Natsu: Yeah, Lucy?

Lucy: We're friends now, right?

Natsu: I guess so.

Lucy: That's good. It was nice talking to you, Natsu.

Natsu: Back atcha Lucy. Goodnight.

Lucy: Goodnight Natsu.


	3. Ice Make: Erza

Natsu smashed through yet another of Gray's ice doubles.

He growled, "Come out and fight me, ice princess!"

The doubles only multiplied in response. Natsu could hear Gray laugh from somewhere in the maze of figurines, the sound bouncing off of the ice statues, making it impossible to pinpoint where the noise was coming from.

Natsu kicked another frozen sculpture, shattering it to glimmering ice crystals. He paused as something occurred to him.

"Oi, Stripper!" He called, "Can you make other people?"

The ice doubles melted away. Gray wandered out of the forest, absently pulling off his coat. "Dunno," He admitted, "Never tried."

He clasped his hands together, his shirt magically disappearing in the process.

"Ice make, Erza!" Gray barked.

A cold fog materialized. When it faded away, standing there was a perfect facsimile of the scarlet haired requip mage.

"Cool!" Natsu shouted.

Gray nodded, looking immensely satisfied with himself.

"It looks just like her!" Natsu declared, "Except it isn't trying to kill us."

Both mages let out an involuntary shiver at the thought of Erza Scarlet in a rage.

"Can you make it move?" Natsu asked.

Gray shook his head, "Nah. I'm a static ice make mage."

"So it's useless?" Natsu sounded disappointed, "I wanted to spar with it. Erza just kicks me when I ask her."

"It's not useless, flame-brain," Gray growled, unpleased by the mockery of his work, "It just doesn't do anything."

"Then I'm going to smash it," Natsu declared.

Which was not the right thing to say at the time.

A tick mark appeared on Erza Scarlet's forehead. She had been sent to retrieve the two idiots for whatever reason, and what did she find them doing? She marched out into the clearing, requiping to her sword as she walked.

"You are going to do what now?" Erza snarled, raising her sword over her shoulder.

"Erza?!" Gray and Natsu cried, clinging to each other.

Tucked cozily away in her apartment, Lucy looked up from her novel. She almost thought she heard a scream.

She shook her head, sighing. Turning back to her novel, she wondered what her two teammates had done to anger Erza this time.


	4. Fan Club

"Let the first monthly meeting of Fiore's fan club begin!" Freed declared.

Juvia, Dan Straight, and Lyon Vastia burst into a round of polite applause.

"Joining us today is our Vice President, Juvia Loxar," Freed stepped away from the podium allowing to the blue-haired woman to take the stand.

Juvia waved cheerily, "Juvia is very happy to be here today! Juvia is always happy for more opportunities to prove her love for Gray-Sama!"

From the audience Lyon sobbed, "Why Juvia-chan? Why won't you love me?"

Dan Straight patted his back sympathetically.

Juvia returned to her seat, and Freed took the podium again, sparkles filling the surrounding air.

"Let us all aspire to be like Juvia, filling our minds with devotion with our idols!" Freed professed. "I think of Laxus-Sama always!"

He reverted back to his normal, calm persona. The sparkles dissipated.

"For our announcements today, I regret to inform you that many of our members were unable to come today, such as my teammates, Evergreen and Bixlow," Freed continued. The other members of the club shook their heads solemnly, "And Ichiya was distracted by Erza's 'parfum' so he also will not be partaking in the meeting. That is all for announcements. Would anyone like to take the podium?"

Dan Straight shot out of his seat, running up to the podium and loudly declaring, "I will win the love of my Angey-chan!"

"And Juvia will always love Gray-Sama!" Juvia declared, cuddling a Gray doll.

Lyon sobbed dramatically in front of her, "Why Juvia-chan? Why?"

"Blondie~" Flare grinned psychotically.

Lyon squinted at her, melodramatic tears gone, "When did you get here?"

Flare turned her stare to him, still grinning.

"Never mind," Lyon muttered, shivering.

The door squeaked open.

"Hello?" The owner of the house called, "Natsu? I swear, if you're eating the fondant I made for Mira's birthday then," Lucy opened her bedroom door.

Every head in the room swiveled to stare; eyes open wide, at Lucy.

"Blondie~" Flare smiled again.

Lucy gaped. They blinked in unison. Lucy began to back away, giggling nervously.

"Love rival…" A black aura surrounded Juvia.

Eyes wide, Lucy turned around, walking stiffly out of the room. "You can… um… bye…" The door slammed shut.


	5. Visitors

This was it. Lucy was going to scream. Lucy was going to murder someone. No, Lucy was going to murder a lot of people. She was going to go on a murder spree that would terrorize Magnolia until Fiore sent the Rune Knights in, and then she would fall in love with a commanding officer and then… Wasn't that the plot of the book she just finished?

Lucy growled, dropping her groceries on the kitchen table.

"Natsu…" Lucy's tone was warning. _You have five seconds to apologize and beg on your knees for me not to murder you, _it said.

Her pink haired partner's head popped up over the top of her refrigerator door.

"Oh, hey Lucy!" He smiled cheerfully, "You're out of Oreos."

"I wasn't before you got here!" Lucy shrieked. She did not have the patience for this today.

"Yeah well-,"

Lucy cut the dragon slayer off, grabbing him by the back of the scarf and dragging him out of the kitchen and into the living room. A blue tail entered her field of vision, and she quickly lunged at it, effectively trapping Happy with her free hand.

Ignoring the protests of her two annoying teammates, she pushed them out of the already open (thanks to a certain pair of trespassers) window.

"If you want to get back in, you can use the DOOR!" She shouted, slamming the window shut forcefully and latching it. She took a deep breath and turned around, fully prepared for to put her groceries away and then to relax for the rest of the day.

What she was not expecting was the Guild master of Saber Tooth, his partner and their exceeds to be sitting quietly on her couch, completely shocked.

Lucy really did scream this time. Can you blame her?

She clutched her heaving chest. "What… what are you…"

Rogue cleared his throat, "Should we…" He began uncertainly, "Should we leave?"

Lucy caught her breath, "No… No, that's okay," She said, faintly, "I'll go make some tea…"

She walked uncertainly to the kitchen, robotically preparing the tea in her kettle. After the water had boiled and everything was prepared she arranged the tea cups and carried them back into the living room, significantly more relaxed.

Sting stood by her bookshelf, examining one of her many picture frames. The photo was of Levy at the guild, reading while in the background Natsu and Gajeel were simultaneously punched in the face by Erza.

Frosch sat on the couch by Rogue, the latter of which was flipping through one of the novels she kept on her coffee table. Lector was playing with one of her knick-knacks she had picked up from a job with Natsu.

All in all, they were acting like, _God Forbid_, normal houseguests.

Lucy set the tea tray on the coffee table. Rogue took a cup and sipped it, turning back to the novel with a quiet 'thank you.' Sting leaned over the couch, grabbing a tea cup.

"Thanks, Lucy-san," He grinned.

Lucy handed Lector and Frosch tea-cups. They both took sips.

"This is good tea," Lector declared.

"Fro thinks so too!" Frosch cooed.

Lucy picked up a cup also and sat on the couch across from the shadow dragon slayer.

Rogue cleared his throat uncertainly and looked up from the well-worn pages of the book, "Excuse me, Lucy-san, but… I mean was wondering-"

"Why'd you push Natsu-san out the window?" Sting cut in, carelessly slamming his now empty tea-cup down on the tray.

Lucy's eye twitched, "He keeps breaking into my house and eating all my food. And he doesn't even use the door… him and that dumb cat… at least they don't come in through the chimney like Gray… and they don't strip either…"

Both the dragon slayers and their exceeds were staring at Lucy, odd looks on their faces.

Lector was the first to break the silence, "Imagine if you did that to Minerva-san, Sting-kun!"

Sting blanched and Rogue turned a faint shade of green. They reminded Lucy of Natsu and Gray when Erza, and inevitably her wrath, were brought up. Lucy sipped her tea, vaguely amused.

"That… That would be a disaster…" Rogue shuddered.

"Fro thinks so too!" The green exceed stated solemnly.

Turning to Lucy, Sting asked, "Why isn't Natsu-san back yet?"

Lucy frowned, "What do you mean?"

"You said that Natsu-san could come back in if he used the door," Lector clarified, "So why isn't he back yet?"

Grimacing, Lucy admitted, "I don't think he knows where it is…"

Rogues eye twitched, Sting snorted, and Lector said, "Wow, Natsu-san really is an idiot."

"Fro thinks so too," Frosch agreed.

"No…" Lucy protested, "He just doesn't see the point of the door if he can go in the window. He doesn't look too much into things…"

Had it been anyone in Fairy Tail saying that, Lucy would have agreed wholeheartedly.

"Actually," Lucy started, placing her tea cup down on the table, "I was wondering why you followed Natsu here."

The twin dragon slayers shared a look.

"We were looking for a place to stay the night," Rogue explained, "And Natsu-san told us that he knew a place where we could stay."

Lucy's eye twitched, "And you didn't think that anything was weird when he let you in through the window?"

Sting put a finger up and opened his mouth, speechless. Rogue looked mildly embarrassed, "Well… It was Natsu-san…"

Lucy squinted at the duo, "And it would be totally normal for Natsu to have a neat, clean, pink apartment with a bunch of bookshelves?"

"We don't know what he's into," Sting shrugged.

"He's into renting out MY apartment to people without my permission apparently," Lucy muttered, "Speaking of which, I apologize, but you can't stay here tonight. You'll have to find a hotel."

Rogue nodded reasonably, "Of course. We understand. Actually, we have to start looking for a hotel now. Is it alright if I borrow this?" He held up the novel he had been reading.

Lucy smiled, "Of course."

"Thank you," Rogue pocketed the novel and began leading the group to the door.

Sting exited first, "Bye Lucy-san!" He raced off down the hallway, followed by his exceed, who also called a faint, "Good-bye!" She wondered how someone like that, who could rival Natsu in childishness any day, had managed to become guild master of Saber Tooth.

She shook her head and simply called back, "Goodbye, it was nice having you!"

Something tugged on Lucy's sock. She looked down, her eyes meeting Frosch's.

"Fro thinks that Lucy-san was very nice," The little green exceed stated. Lucy's heart melted.

"Aww~" Lucy cooed, scooping Frosch into a hug.

Rogue gave a small smile, "Thank you for having us, especially when our visit was so unexpected."

Lucy smiled back, "It's alright I'm used to it." Lucy handed Frosch to Rogue.

He took her with a nod and set off down the hallway.

"Goodbye!" Lucy called after them, "Come back any time!"

"WHEN I SAID ANY TIME I DIDN'T MEAN AT THREE IN THE MORNING! LECTOR STOP EATING THE ICECREAM! STING GET OUT OF MY BED I HAVEN'T EVEN KNOWN YOU FOR TWO MONTHS YET. ROGUE I SWEAR, IF YOU FLIP ONE MORE PAGE IN MY NOVEL YOU WON'T HAVE FINGERS TO FLIP PAGES WITH ANY MORE. AND FROSCH- you can stay."


	6. Confess: NaLu

"Lucy!"

The Celestial mage turned around; reluctantly putting her bookmark into the novel she had borrowed from Levy. Her energetic pink-haired partner ran into the guild, waving wildly. His partner flew in after him. Happy had a mildly panicked expression on his face.

"Natsu, no!" The blue exceed cried.

Lucy crossed her arms in front of her chest. _What is it this time?_

Natsu stopped in front of her, a childish grin adoring his face. "I got something important to tell you!"

The dragon slayer's onyx eyes fastened onto hers. _This is it,_ she thought, a sparkling image of Natsu appearing in her mind, a rose clenched in between his imaginary teeth, _He is going to confess his love for me, and we will get married, and have 30 children who will…_

"Lucy, I think I'm in love with you!" Natsu declared, hands clasping her shoulders. His tone was light, as if he was informing her that the milk had run out, or he had bought her a cake.

_Oh well, no confessions to- Wait, WHAT?! _Lucy's eyes widened, her face turning the same shade of pink Natsu's hair. Everyone was staring at the pair now, waiting for the outcome. Lucy's face quickly darkened to Mirajane's dress magenta, and then onto Erza's hair scarlet. Her blush hit florescent red and impossibly went one shade darker.

Lucy passed out, falling off her bar stool.

The rest of the guild collectively face palmed. Happy muttered something like "I told him you couldn't do it like that," his face buried in his paws.

Levy simply smirked, raking in the money she had earned from the betting pool. Sometimes she just had to thank God that Lucy was so inexperienced. Mira and Cana groaned, cursing the same fact and reluctantly handing over their jewels.


	7. Drinking Buddies

"So when are you going to move on?" Bixlow asked casually, without looking at the blonde woman seated on the edge of the table next to him.

She shrugged, scribbling another word on her already ink covered arm, "I don't know," She didn't look up either, "I might have missed my chance."

Bixlow took a swig out of his tankard, "You're pretty calm about that."

She shrugged again, moving the pen from her arm to her leg. Bixlow wondered if the thing ever ran out of ink. "I don't want to leave."

Bixlow shook his head, watching the pen nib move over her exposed shin, "You know that's bad for you, right?"

His babies echoed him, "Bad for you! Bad for you!"

Lucy turned to him, an incredulous expression on her face, "Because I totally have to worry about that now."

"Just saying, cosplay queen," Bixlow shrugged, "I'm assuming you want me to write all that down?"

Lucy nodded, "Yes."

Searching for the notebook he had begun to keep, he grumbled, "How did I let you rope me into this?"

Lucy finally smiled a bit, kicking her feet in the air, "Remember who gets you your blackmail material. And who helped you out with Lisanna."

Bixlow slapped the notebook on the table, "I don't want to write your book for you, so let's get this over with cosplay queen."

With a final declaration of 'It's for Levy-chan,' Lucy began, "'I don't love you,' he told her, tears building up in his teal eyes. Shouldn't she be the one crying? She thought, watching numbly, watching the man she had devoted herself to drag himself away from her. She was crying though, she realized, feeling the warm tears on her face." Lucy read off her palm.

Bixlow scribbled away on the notebook, and Lucy kept reading off her arms and legs, only stopping when Lucy ran out of words. Bixlow closed the notebook and Lucy capped her pen, the words covering her arms and legs disappearing with small shimmers of golden light. Lucy clipped the pen to her belt.

"Hey, Cosplay Queen?" Bixlow started.

"How many times have I told you not to call me that?" Lucy murmured halfheartedly.

"Tons of times," Bixlow rolled his eyes, "Anyway, I was wondering if you were there."

Lucy furrowed her delicate eyebrows, "Where?"

"When Gajeel found out," Bixlow clarified, leaning back in his chair.

Remembering the impact of splintering of wood and a crack like a gun shot, Lucy nodded her head, "I still feel bad for Levy."

"He still took it better that Natsu did," Bixlow pointed out.

Lucy smiled mirthlessly, "Everyone took it better than Natsu did. I almost thought he was going to snap at Wendy…"

Bixlow took another swig from his tankard, casting a quick glance over to where the sky dragon slayer sat with Reedus, dragging her pencil over a sheet of paper. "She's still broken up about it. She thinks it's her fault."

Lucy frowned, looking to the small girl, "Do you seriously think I don't know that? I wish that I could tell her that this was the better of two options."

"She wouldn't buy it," Bixlow stated.

"I know," Lucy sighed.

The pair stayed silent, just thinking. Bixlow set his tankard on the table, before asking flippantly, "Have Levy and Ironman got it on yet?"

Lucy turned several different shades of red, "Bixlow!"

He tried not to laugh at her reaction, "Just trying to stay ahead in the betting pool. I want to know if there are going to be any blue haired, red eyed babies around anytime soon."

The color didn't fade from Lucy's face, "No! They haven't! And even if they did, I'm sure that Levy would know to have a c-c-,"

"A condom, Cosplay Queen?" Bixlow snorted, "God, you're innocent."

"Innocent! Innocent!" His babies chimed overhead.

"And you're crude!" Lucy shrieked, nearly falling off the table.

Bixlow did laugh this time. "Is Cana still seeing Bacchus?"

Lucy calmed down considerably, the vibrant scarlet color fading from her cheeks, "Yes. Gildarts still doesn't know."

Bixlow snickered, "We'd all know if he did. Remember when he found out that Hibiki had taken Cana on a date?"

Lucy shuddered at the memory, "I could hear the explosion all the way from my apartment."

Laughing at the memory, Bixlow picked his tankard up again, taking a long swig before slamming it on the counter again, "Mira!" He called across the hall, "Another!"

He turned back to Lucy, only to find she was staring nostalgically at the Natsu and Gray where they were tangled together on the floor. The fight hadn't escalated to the point where they were using their magic, and Erza intervened before they did.

Natsu and Gray now lay unconsciously on the floor, suffering from the effect of the impact of an armored fist on their head.

"I'm glad nothing changed with them," Lucy murmured softly.

"The hell are you talking about, nothing changed?" Bixlow scoffed, "They're never going to get over it."

"But they'll get past it," Lucy smiled, "They're strong like that. Look! They're even still a team!"

"Only because of you," Bixlow pointed out.

Lucy's reply was interrupted when Mira set a new tankard of beer in front of Bixlow, picking up his old one and placing it on her tray.

"There you go, Bixlow," Mira smiled cheerfully, "One beer! Who are you talking to?"

"It's no one," Bixlow waved her off, "Just talking to myself."

Mira looked at him a little dubiously, but shrugged and walked away, toting the empty mug on her metal tray. Bixlow could see Lucy's saddened expression out of the corner of his eyes.

"I think that what I miss most," Lucy murmured, "Mira never says hi now that I'm dead."

AN/ Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It really made my day!

I'd also like to say that I'm taking requests if you'd like to submit. Crack ships, AUs, whatever you want. As long as it's not lemon.


	8. Purr: LaLu

Lucy sat on the bench next to Laxus. He was quiet, his head bobbing slightly to his music. Sighing in boredom, Lucy turned her head to look up at him.

With his stormy blue eyes closed, he looked sort of… peaceful.

Acting on some unknown urge, Lucy reached up, placing her hand on the Lightning Dragon slayer's head. He sat up, his spine ramrod straight.

Lucy giggled at his surprise.

Laxus turned to her with a confused expression. He took off his head phones, letting them hang around his neck.

Ignoring his incredulous look, Lucy pulled her hand through his hair, smoothing down the spikes, once, twice, before they sprang up again.

"Oi! What're you do-," Laxus's voice cut off, a deep rumble forcing its way out of his throat. Lucy pulled her hand back, startled at the noise. Laxus grabbed her hand, placing it back on his head.

"K-keep going," He mumbled, crossing his arms and hunching over. Lucy giggled nervously, but complied, petting his spiky blond hair once more. Another rumble came from the bottom of his throat before Lucy realized.

"Laxus," She whispered, trying not to attract attention from their rowdy guild mates, "Are you purring?"

"No," He answered, looking away. He purred again, effectively proving Lucy's theory.

Lucy giggled, playing with the little tufts and spikes of hair and combing her fingers through. Laxus's rumbling purrs became more regular, and he leaned against her, a hint of pink staining his cheeks.

Lucy smiled softly.

They stayed like that long after most of Fairy Tail went home, Laxus with his head on Lucy's shoulder, with her fingers running through his hair. Laxus had fallen asleep somewhere along the way, his arms still crossed.

When the guild was abandoned, only one light casting a soft glow on the couple, Lucy yawned, resting her head on his and joining him in slumber.

A/N: Hi, again. This one was done on the request of Joyeu, and I'd like to thank them for the idea! I don't think I really did it justice though, so I might go back and edit it later. If you want, you can still send me any requests you have.


	9. The Aftermath

The storm had passed. The Baram Alliance had been toppled, Acnologia was defeated, and Zeref's magic had been sealed. Everything should be cheerful, bright, and full of celebration.

So why was the sky constantly gray? Why hadn't the rain stopped?

Five people stood on a platform, in front of the seething mass of Crocus citizens. Master Makarov of Fairy Tail, Erza Scarlet, Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, and Wendy Marvel prepared to give their speeches, and receive their rewards presented to them by the royal family of Fiore.

Their faces were grim, in spite of the celebratory atmosphere of the people below them.

Master Makarov spoke first.

"For years and years," The small, wizened, old man started, "The land of Fiore has been threatened by Dark Magic, created by a man deemed the most evil being in all creation. His magic has killed thousands, and ruined many lives. But no more. As of two weeks ago, Zeref was defeated, and his magic sealed away, never to be used again. This was made possible by the sacrifices of many brave individuals, who risked their lives. Even some who gave them up."

Everyone in Fairy Tail inhaled sharply.

"One such person was a member of my guild, Lucy Heartfilia, who lost her life in the fight against the guild master of Tartarus, Marde Geer, one of Zeref's demons. I award the title of Hero of Fiore to her, Post-mortem."

Makarov stepped away from the podium. Erza stepped up, wiping tears away.

"I am honored that you chose me to receive this award," Erza stated, "And I-" Her voice cracked, "Although I feel that there are people who fought who deserve this award more than I do, such as Mirajane Strauss, or Laxus Dreyar, to name a few, I accept this honor with pride."

She walked stiffly away from the podium, her head down.

Gray walked up to the podium, his hands stuffed in his pockets, "Yeah, thanks."

He walked away, going to stand by Erza.

Natsu stomped to the podium next. He stared out at the crowd, burning them with his stare. He seemed to deflate, almost, opening his mouth to say something before shutting it again.

He kicked over the podium, walking off stage.

Wendy scurried up next. She stood in front of the fallen podium, twisting her hands together. Tears gathered in her brown eyes. "I…" She trailed off, "It's all my… Lucy-nee… It's all my fault!" She sobbed, running off stage. Erza followed quietly.

Lucy watched, standing in the crowd next to a silently crying Juvia. She wished there was something she could do to help.


	10. The Princess: Drabble

Freed finished writing the runes, nodding victoriously to himself.

_Whomever stands within these runes will be the princess._

Freed stepped into the square. _Yes,_ he thought, _I AM the princess._


	11. Celestial Mages

"Lucy has more keys."

"Yukino has the thirteenth zodiac."

"Lucy has the best bed."

"Yukino is the best cook ever."

"Lucy survived fighting Minerva."

"Yukino survived fighting Kagura."

"Lucy is more fun!"

"Yukino is nicer!"

"MY CELESTIAL MAGE IS BETTER THAN YOURS!" Sting and Natsu yelled in unison.

The tick marks quickly multiplied on Lucy's forehead. All she'd wanted was to go on a peaceful shopping trip with Yukino, but who just HAD to come?

Lucy grabbed both dragon slayers by their hair, pulling. She knocked their heads together, leaving the two idiots lying unconscious on the ground.

"Come on, Yukino," She sighed, "It won't be long before they get up."


	12. Sorcerer Weekly

Sorcerer Weekly: July First edition

Fairy Tail special feature of the month, Lucy Heartfilia

Interviewer: Hello Miss Heartfilia! We're very happy to have you here today!

Lucy: I'm very happy to be here!

Interviewer: We'll start with some simple questions. What's your favorite color?

Lucy: I like pink and blue equally, actually.

Interviewer: Very nice colors. They suit you.

Lucy: Thanks!

Interviewer: Who would you say you're closest to in Fairy Tail?

Lucy: While I do have lots of close friends in Fairy Tail, I'd have to say that I'm closest to Natsu. He did bring me to Fairy Tail, after all!

(Mirajane Strauss appears)

Mirajane: And you two would make beautiful babies together!

Interviewer: It's Mirajane Strauss! Also in Fairy Tail, she is one of the most famous models in Fiore!

Lucy: Mira! How many times do I have to tell you! Natsu and I aren't like that!

Mirajane: Ara, ara Lucy-chan! You know you like him~

Interviewer: What a development! Are you and the Salamander and official couple Miss Heartfilia?

Lucy: NO. I mean, no, we are not, and we never will be!

Levy: Don't deny it Lu-chan~

Lucy: Not you too, Levy-chan… AND WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!

Laxus: Girlie here is with Natsu? I thought she was dating the stripper…

Lucy: LAXUS?!

Juvia: Love-rival is not together with Gray-sama. Juvia would never allow it.

Bixlow: Water lady's right! (Dolls: Right! Right! Water Lady!) Cosplay Queen and Loki are in love! (Dolls: Love! Cosplay! Love!)

Evergreen: Bixlow, you're an idiot. Lucy was definitely ogling the Saber-tooth guild mage during the games. She can't even be discrete…

Lucy: You shouldn't be talking about discrete when you and Elfman are so obvious…

Freed: I believe that you are the fool, Evergreen. Lucy-san is clearly in love with Laxus-Sama! He is the most wonderful!

Cana: Nah, Lucy is totally head over heels with Gajeel. She likes it rough.

Lucy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I say that I like assertive men once and then look at this…

Wendy: Oh you like assertive men…? I thought that you were in love with Freed-san…

Gajeel: Sorry kid, but you're wrong. Bunny-girl and the creepy doll guy are getting it on.

Juvia: No Gajeel-kun! Gajeel has to help Juvia make Love-rival realize her feelings for Lyon-sama, so Juvia will have removed her two biggest rivals for Gray-sama's love!

Gajeel: What kind of creepy things are going on in your head, rain woman?!

Lyon: Indeed, Juvia-chan! I only love you! Of course, no offense Lucy-san.

Lucy: None taken, I guess…

Lyon: And I hate to disagree with my beloved, but Lucy-san has feelings for the archive mage of Blue Pegasus.

Lucy: Hibiki?! What are you talking about?!

Hibiki: You called? Unfortunately, this beautiful princess does not hold affection for me in her heart; she loves none other than the Shadow Dragon slayer of Saber-Tooth.

Lucy: Wah~ you too, Hibiki?

Erza: Lucy does not hold feelings for any of these men!

Lucy: THANK YOU, ERZA!

Erza: She had a forbidden love vibe around the dragon slayer from Oracion Seis.

Lucy: I thought it got better, but it actually got worse… I've never even held a real conversation with Cobra… Next thing you know they'll be saying I married Midnight…

Rogue: You are married to the Reflector mage from Oracion Seis? I wish you the best of luck in your relationship.

Lucy: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU DOLT!

Sting: No need to be so harsh, Fairy-san. Anyways, I thought I saw you on a date with a guy with blue hair and a tattoo on his face. I don't know though, he looked kind of out of your league.

Lucy: WHY YOU LITTLE-

Gray: Calm down, Lucy. Why don't you just tell them that you're dating Mystogan already?

Lucy: WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT FROM?!

Yukino: Mystogan? Is that the council member that Lucy-sama was flirting with?

Lucy: I WASN'T FLIRTING WITH LAHAR!

Happy: How did you know that she wasn't talking about Doranbalt then? You ~like~ Lahar.

Lucy: I DON'T LIKE HIM! Or Doranbalt!

Carla: Unfortunate, as that would get the man away from Wendy.

Lucy: HOW DID YOU PEOPLE EVEN GET HERE?

Natsu: Hey, Lucy! I-

Lucy: I DON'T LIKE ANYONE!

Natsu: You don't have to yell, weirdo. I was just wondering if you wanted to go on a job.

Lucy: TAKE ME WITH YOU!

Natsu: You could have just said yes.

(Lucy Heartfilia and Natsu Dragneel exit)

Mira &amp; Levy: They totally like each other.


	13. Date: Drabble

"For the last time, Bixlow! I'm not dating Natsu, or Gray, or Loki, or ANYONE!"

"Then will you date me?"


	14. How?

There she sat, maliciously unaware of his frustration.

She sipped her smoothie, chatting with the bar maid over an open book, completely oblivious to his inner turmoil. Or was she?

He growled deep in his throat, convinced that she was infuriating him on purpose. How? How did she do it?

He stalked to her table, a snarl twisting his features. How was it possible that she could? She was so weak! Not like the other girls in the guild.

She turned around. Seeing the menacing glare on his face, she squeaked, trying to hide behind her book. He slapped it roughly out of her hands, staring her right in the eyes. She gulped. It was silent.

He couldn't take it anymore.

"How did you do it?" Gajeel roared at the cowering Lucy, "How the hell did YOU beat Bixlow?!"


	15. Thievery

"So this is what we're gonna do," Lucy whispered, giggling maniacally, "I'll distract him, and then you grab the helm- crap. You don't have hands."

"Hands! Hands!" The dolls echoed. Lucy frowned thoughtfully.

A delighted (Read: deranged) grin lit her face, "New plan. Here's what you have to do…"

On the other side of the guild, a much less worrying conversation was going on between a white haired bar maid and Fairy Tail's resident seith mage.

"Oi, Mira!" Bixlow called.

Mira smiled, placing another pint of beer in front of Cana, "What can I do for you, Bixlow?"

"Have you seen my babies?" Bixlow asked, looking around as if to make sure they weren't there before he continued, "I lost them at the train station when we were headed back to the guild."

Mira frowned, "That's odd. They usually stay by you."

Bixlow grabbed the back of his neck with one hand, lifting the other helplessly, "I know! That's why I'm asking!"

Mira shrugged, sweeping back behind the bar, "I'll tell you if I see them Bixlow."

"Yeah…" Bixlow walked away, plopping down at a table.

Lucy watched from across the room, giggling darkly. Everyone within fifty feet of her sweat dropped. She tapped her fingers together slowly, a black aura filling the air around her.

"Soon…" She whispered, eyes wide an unfocused.

Gray scooted slowly down the bench. _Lucy has succumbed to the insanity,_ Gray thought, _I am now officially the only normal person here,_ he shook his head, stripping off his shirt. Without the ice mage noticing, one of Bixlow's infamous 'babies' flew out from under a table, snatched the shirt from mid-air, and flew away again.

"My plan…" Lucy whispered under her breath, watching the doll disappear from sight.

She turned to Gray, devious (deranged) grin still spread across her face, "Gray~ your shirt~"

Gray turned to her, shivering at her wide-eyed gaze, before turning to look at his bare chest.

"Crap!" Gray shouted, looking around frantically for his vanished shirt, "Where'd it go?"

"It should be on the floor," Lucy giggled, "You had it on a second ago…" Her face lit up in mock concern, "If you lost it, Erza is going to kill you… She said she didn't want to see your clothes lying around on the floor any more…"

Gray paled considerably. He got down on his hands and knees, going to check under the table for his missing article of clothing. His shoe disappeared, and was quickly scooped up by another of Bixlow's dolls.

_Perfect_, Lucy thought, watching Gray crawl around, _Just one more foot forward…_

Breathing heavy from panic, Gray pulled himself forward another foot, nearly directly under Cana's table.

It was like a Rube Goldberg machine. Natsu walked forward, tripping over Gray's back. Gray shot up, sending Cana's carefully arranged cards into the air. One of Bixlow's dolls dropped the death card into Cana's client, Evergreen's, hand, prompting Elfman to leap forward bellowing "Death is not MAN!"

Elfman collided with Cana's large barrel of beer. The wood cracked under his weight and the alcohol spilled all over the smooth wooden floor. Lisanna came forward, probably intending to help Elfman up, but she slipped in the puddle, her legs flying out from under her. Natsu jumped towards her, catching her before her head could hit the edge of one of the tables, but the alcohol on the ground caused him to slip, skidding into one of the tables while holding Lisanna against him. The vase on the table tipped over, spilling its contents on Lisanna's white shirt. She yelled, leaping up and away from Natsu.

Natsu leaped up, tipping the table over. He pointed an accusing finger at Gray, shouting, "You tripped me!"

"Shut up and help me look for my shirt," Gray yelled back.

Natsu rolled up his imaginary sleeves, stomping over to Gray. The alcohol was still covering the floor, though, and his feet were yanked from under him. His momentum carried him forward, making him crash into Gray. They skidded into the far wall. Juvia leaped up from her seat, yelling something along the usual lines of, "Juvia will not let anyone touch Gray-sama but Juvia!"

Bixlow's doll flew overhead; dropping one of Gray's commandeered shoes onto Juvia's head. Juvia looked up; trying to identify what had assaulted her. She saw Gray's shoe on the ground below her. She promptly fainted, _it's a sign! Fate has declared Gray-sama Juvia's!_ The water woman melted into a puddle, making the alcohol pool even larger. Gray turned just in time to see Juvia pass out. Natsu's fist hits his face while he's distracted, sending the Ice mage flying into the table that Natsu had tipped over. The round table rolled away, knocking Levy into Gajeel. Jet and Droy began sobbing about how their 'Levy-chan' was being accosted.

Lisanna hurried over to Mirajane at the bar, hurriedly shouting, "I need a new shirt!"

Mira ducked down beneath the counter, pulling out one of the emergency spares. Two of Bixlow's dolls swooped over her head, grabbing a couple of glasses from the shelf before Mira reemerged from under the counter, carrying an extra-large tee-shirt. Lisanna quickly pulled off the wet shirt and pulled the new one over her head. One of Bixlow's dolls picked up the soaked article of clothing and disappeared with it.

In the far corner, Gajeel got fed up with Jet and Droy's wailing and sent an Iron Dragon's club into the whining duo. Gajeel's magically extended arm burst through a wooden pillar, which erupted into a shower of dust and splinters, temporarily blinding half of the guild. A coating of wood dust landed on top of Erza's cake. A black aura leached into the air around her.

Natsu and Gray battled fiercely as always, throwing punches and kicks in rapid succession. Gray managed to get a good hit in, pushing Natsu about five feet away. One of Bixlow's dolls swooped in quickly, placing one of Fairy Tail's special, no shatter shot glasses on the floor in front of Natsu. The fire mage charged at his rival, his foot hitting the smooth glass. He pitched forward, turning because of the shape of the glass, sending his flaming fist tumbling right… into… Bixlow's coat.

The Seith mage jumped up, swatting at his burning clothing. Unnoticed, one of his dolls dropped Lisanna's wet shirt onto the bench where Bixlow was just sitting. It successfully smothered the sparks that could have set the guild on fire for the third time that week. Bixlow ran forward, towards Levy and Gajeel and the Juvia puddle.

Erza pulled a sword from her requip inventory, savagely screaming, "You ruined my cake!"

She launched the sword in Gajeel's direction. Bixlow continued his panicked sprint. His feet shot out from under him, the Juvia puddle making his boots lose their traction. Erza's sword passed overhead, snagging his visor onto the blade and flying away in a bizarre and blatant defiance of physics.

Lucy snagged the helmet out of the air. She was laughing maniacally, one boot planted on the bench and the other on the table. She pulled the sword out of the helmet, dropping the metal visor onto her head. She brandished the sword in the air. All of Bixlow's dolls emerged from under the table, coming to rest in the air around Lucy.

"I've done it Cana!" Lucy declared, waggling her tongue around in a blatant mimicry of the soul mage, "You said that I couldn't get the helmet! You said I was too boring to do it! HAHAHAHAHA! WHO'S BORING NOW?!"

With identical expressions of incredulity on their faces, everyone in the guild slowly turned to look at Cana.

She shrugged, pulling another oversized barrel of alcohol from who-knows-where.

"A girl needs entertainment," She gulped down some beer, "and Lucy's just too easy to manipulate."

A/N: This one was Joyeu's request for Lucy stealing Bixlow's helmet. I was in the mood for something crackish, I hope you guys don't mind.


	16. Companionable Silence

Rogue wandered through the double doors, listlessly weaving his way through the wooden tables to plop tiredly into a chair. He groaned, placing his forehead on the tabletop.

The activity in the Fairy Tail guild ceased, everyone turning to look at the apathetic shadow dragon-slayer. Natsu opened his mouth, presumably to say, _why the actual hell aren't you at your own guild,_ or more likely, because this is Natsu, _Fight me!_

The door burst open.

"Fight me, Natsu-san!" Sting shouted. The clamor in Fairy Tail resumed, everyone quickly forgetting the lethargic shadow dragon-slayer slumped at one of the wooden tables. Rogue groaned again, dragging himself off the seat and into a quieter corner.

Lucy entered the guild unnoticed. She took in the carnage that was the guild hall, taking notice of the white dragon-slayer in the midst of the fray. _Saber-tooth came to visit again,_ she thought, rolling her eyes.

Scanning the crowd, she picked out the quieter of the infamous dragon-slayer duo and picked her way through the crowd towards Rogue.

He looked up at her through half lidded red eyes.

"Hello, Lucy," He greeted her.

She smiled, pulling her bag off her shoulder and settling into the chair across from the black haired mage. "Hey, Rogue. Tired?"

Rogue nodded, resting his head on his arms once more.

"I took care of Sting's paperwork yesterday because he had to go to a meeting," His voice came out muffled, "I didn't get any sleep at all. I don't know how he does it."

Lucy nodded sympathetically. She dug around in her back, pulling out a crisp new paperback. She slid the book over the table top, nudging the cover into Rogue's arm.

"I finished the book, if you want to borrow it," Lucy told the shadow mage, rifling around in her back to pull out her manuscript, "It was as good as the reviews said."

Rogue picked his head up off his forearms, looking at the book. The tired dimness of his eyes faded a bit, and he pulled the book closer, opening it to the first page.

"Thank you," He told her quietly, his eyes already speeding over the text, "I've been waiting for this to come out."

Lucy smiled, already scribbling away at her notebook, "You're welcome."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, Rogue reading the novel Lucy had handed him at alarming speeds, Lucy jotting down paragraphs in her care-worn notebook, occasionally looking up and asking Rogue, 'How does this sound' or 'Do you think this character should...' after which Rogue would give a short answer and they would fall silent again. Neither looked up when a vase- who knows where that came from- flew by Lucy's head and shattered by the far wall.

Natsu paused, his fist just inches from Gray's face. He squinted at the silent duo.

"Lucy's being weird again," He told Gray.

Gray turned his head to look at Lucy, "How? She's just writing…"

"Exactly!" Natsu declared, uncurling his fist from Gray's shirt (Miraculously still on), "She's sitting by the Saber guy, and they're not talking or anything! They're just sitting there!"

Gray shrugged; his bare shoulders moving up, and then down (Spoke too soon. His shirt's gone.) "Some people are like that," He declared.

"Whatever," Natsu cracked his knuckles, leaping at Gray, "Now fight me! Or are you too scared?"

"You're the one that stopped in the first place!" Gray yelled, driving his fist into Natsu's stomach.

In the quiet corner, Rogue flipped the page of his book, completely ignoring the ruckus of Fairy Tail.

Four hours later

"Hey, Rogue," Lucy frowned at her notebook.

"Yes, Lucy?" He glanced up at the blonde.

"You realize that Sting left two hours ago, right?"

"Crap."

A/N: And here we have something vaguely shippy. Or friendly, however you want to look at it. Reminder, I'm accepting requests, so long as they aren't rated M. Thank you and goodnight.


	17. Bug Zapper

Bzzt.

Bzzt.

Silence.

Bzzt.

Lucy Heartfilia's eye twitched. She rolled herself up tighter in her blanket, trying to ignore the constant zapping sound. The mosquitoes were bad enough, but this? She pulled her pillow over her head, trying to block out the noise.

Bzzt.

Bzzt.

Crackle.

Bzzt.

Silence.

Lucy sighed slightly in relief. Finally, a break. She closed her eyes, placing the pillow back in its proper place beneath her head. She felt herself drifting off to sleep, the edges of a dream already encroaching on her consciousness.

Bzzt.

That's it.

Lucy shot out of her sleeping bag, murderous intent in mind. Growling low in her throat, her eyes swept the campsite. A small flash of light caught her attention. It was accompanied by another _Bzzt_.

She whipped her head around, fully prepared to dish out holy vengeance on whomever was causing her lack of sleep.

A moth flew towards the lit up screen of Lucy's lightning dragon slayer companion. The insect was an inch away from the glowing surface, about to land.

Bzzt.

A small spark of electricity crackled from Laxus's hand, charring the moth to ash before it could so much as touch his sound pod.

Lucy's mouth dropped open. Laxus turned to her nonchalantly, pulling his headphones down around his neck. He gazed at her from the corner of his eyes.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" He drawled.

Lucy took a deep breath to calm herself. She turned away to climb back into her sleeping bag. She wasn't surprised. Nope, not at all. She turned back to Laxus, about to tell him good night. She opened her mouth.

"YOU'RE A LIVING BUG ZAPPER!" She yelled, most likely waking half of the forest.

Laxus rolled his eyes and placed his headphones back over his ears, ignoring the frustrated girl.


	18. Sex Tape

"What's this?" Natsu studied the object in his hands, his eyebrows furrowed. The object was black and box-like, a white label plastered haphazardly on one side. He squinted at the writing.

A hand quickly snatched the object away.

"It's a tape, idiot," Gray snapped, turning the tape over in his hands.

Erza materialized in the bedroom, muttering quietly about how _Lucy is very daring_, and _under what circumstances would you wear such a thing?_ Her face was a bright, rosy color.

"What's a tape?" Natsu asked.

Gray gave him an incredulous look. Erza straightened up, her new purpose of explaining tapes to Natsu taking the flush from her face.

"Tapes are ways for non-magical people to store their memories," Erza stated, "Because they can't use the lacrima to make a magical impression of an event, they have to take something called a video camera to record the event, and then they put it on the tape, so they can watch it later."

"Oh," Natsu nodded to himself, and then looked up at Erza, "Why can't they just remember it for themselves?"

"If you have it on tape, you can show it to other people," Gray explained, his focus on the tape in his hands making him forget to insult Natsu, "I wonder what Lucy has a tape lying around for."

Gray flipped the black plastic object over to read the crooked label.

The blood drained from his face and he froze in place.

"Gray?" Erza plucked the tape out of his immobile hands. She peered down at the letters on the white label.

The blush reappeared in full force, a drop of blood peeking out from her nose. Erza's brown eyes were wide as dinner plates. Slowly, she reached up an armored hand to wipe the blood from her nose, staring intently at the label the whole time.

"Guys?" Natsu asked, "Guys? What's wrong with you?"

Wordlessly, Erza handed him the tape.

Natsu squinted at it. There was nothing particularly fascinating about it, just a faded, off white sticker stuck on a dark gray plastic surface. Scrawled in black ink were messy letters that even Natsu's keen eyes could barely decipher.

He decided it wasn't worth the effort.

"What's the big deal?" Natsu squinted at his two team mates.

They ignored him.

Erza sprang into motion, beginning to pace the room.

"Lucy and Jellal cannot be in a relationship! They are not compatible. I am a much better match for Jellal due to our shared past," She muttered to herself, "I'm not jealous at all, I am just saving them both from a doomed match!" She pounded her armored fist into her palm, the clank of metal on metal ringing around the room.

"I thought she was innocent," Gray whispered to himself.

"What's going on?" Natsu asked again.

Happy flew into Lucy's bedroom from the kitchen, pilfered fish hanging from his mouth. He took a large bite before stowing it away in his backpack.

"Natsu, help!" Happy cried, spotting the frozen Gray and pacing Erza, "Lucy's weirdness is contagious! We need to get out!"

(Somewhere across Magnolia Lucy sneezed. "Stupid cat," She muttered, wiping her nose.)

Natsu shrugged at his feline companion, "They looked at this and then they started being like that. Do you think that this is what makes Lucy so weird?"

(Lucy sneezed again. "I'm going to kick him when I get home," Lucy declared.)

"Maybe," Happy held out his paw, "Can I see it?"

Natsu handed it to the blue exceed, "Sure."

Happy scrutinized the label on the tape. Slowly, a devious smirk spread over his features, and he began snickering darkly. (Lucy felt a chill run down her spine. "On second thought," She told herself, "Murdering them can wait.")

"I can't wait to tell Mira," Happy announced, "This is what Lucy gets for hiding her fish from me!"

Happy summoned his wings, lifting off and flying to the guild hall. Natsu shrugged to himself. At least Happy was acting normal.

Erza looked up from the floor, turning to look at the door that Happy had just disappeared through. "I shall wait for Lucy at the guild hall," She murmured, "She will not escape her fate- I mean she will not escape our heart to heart about relationships, of course."

The swords-woman walked stiffly out the door. The ice mage followed numbly, slightly stumbling. Natsu shrugged, standing up and following them out the door. He had nothing better to do, and maybe if he waited long enough, someone would tell him what was going on.

At that moment in the Fairy Tail guild hall, Happy barreled through the wooden double doors of the Fairy Tail guild hall, crying "Mira, Mira! I got something for you!"

Mira looked up from the wooden counter to peer at the flying blue cat. He was holding something in his paws, and Mira felt a jolt of anticipation. Happy was her chief informant, often bringing her the best bits of gossip to grace the guild. She smiled.

Happy landed on the counter, holding a black box in his paws.

"I found news on Lucy's love life," Happy announced. He held up the black object. Mira's eyes lit up, and she jumped forward, moving to snatch the tape out of his paws. Happy held it just out of reach.

"My fish," He demanded, "as per our previous arrangement."

"Yes, yes," Mira waved her hand, absently pulling out a salmon from under the counter and laying it on the wooden surface, "Now give me the tape."

Happy handed it over, digging into the salmon enthusiastically. "Read the label first," He told Mira, voice muffled through the fish.

Mira complied, squinting at the white sticker. Her eyes moved back and forth, deciphering the chicken scratch. Her face lit up.

A broad, devious grin stretched Mira's features. "Oh my~" Mira sung, "They've already gotten so far in their relationship!~"

"Oi! Barmaid! What are you on about this time?" Gajeel called.

Mira giggled, "Why, I'm talking about Lucy and Jellal, of course! We're going to have Celestial babies running around the guild soon!~"

Wakaba spit out his drink.

"That weenie got Bunny-girl pregnant?!" Gajeel yelled, dropping his tankard.

Levy looked up from her book, "Lu-chan is pregnant? And she didn't tell me?!"

Little chibi tears gathered in Levy's eyes. Jet and Droy rushed forward to comfort her, but Gajeel knocked them back with an iron club.

"Love-rival is no longer pursuing Gray-sama?!" Juvia cried hopefully, "Juvia knew that ex-Love-rival would come through."

Mira was too lost in ecstasy to care about the rumor she had just started, "Oh my~ I hope that Lucy lets me be the Godmother! Or maybe her bridesmaid! The wedding could be star themed and…" Mira continued planning Lucy's wedding.

The rest of the guild was lost in an uproar.

Wendy, who had just received The Talk a few days ago, was burying her flustered pink face in her small hands. Romeo was just as uncomfortable.

Gajeel was sitting by a pouting Levy. Bisca was on the blunette's other side, patting her back and attempting to comfort her, "Now, now, Levy. You and Lucy are best friends! I'm sure she was planning on telling you. She probably just didn't know how."

Cana was sitting at her table, booze barrel predictably by her side. "All your bets were wrong!" She crowed, "All your money is MINE!"

Laxus was silently throwing off static electricity in the corner, glaring at nothing in particular. Freed was trying to comfort him from a safe distance, but he ended up getting shocked anyway. His green hair stood up in an afro around his head. Bixlow cackled at Freed. Evergreen and Elfman glanced at each other and turned away again, both proclaiming something along the lines of:

"I'm going to pretend that I'm not thinking of our relationship and how it could progress THAT way!"

(Okay, that isn't what they said, but everyone knows that's what they meant.)

Gajeel went rigid. "You said that Bunny-girl and tattoo face were an item now, right?"

Everyone turned to look at Gajeel, taken aback by his terrified tone of voice.

"Yes…" Mira frowned, "That's what I said."

The blood drained from Gajeel's face, "Titania."

The guild was positively still. The only sound to be heard was the crackling of Laxus's lightning in the corner.

The double doors of the guild hall flew open, banging against the walls with a resounding _Crack._ In strode none other than Natsu, Gray, and the Red-haired Demon.

"Mira!" Erza shouted, her voice ringing with authority, "Prepare the dueling ground!"

The guild broke out in whispers.

"She wouldn't!"

"Not when Lucy is pregnant!"

"But the baby!"

Erza's mouth dropped open, and a light blush coated her cheeks, "Lucy is pregnant?!"

Everyone nodded. Mira sighed happily, "I hope they're twins. And they have green hair! That would be so cute."

Erza walked robotically to a table, mumbling to herself distractedly, "A baby? That complicates my plans. Maybe a contest? No! I must show Lucy my support! There will be no contests. I shall not interfere." She pounded her fist into her palm.

Gray wandered absently into the guild hall, "I thought she was a virgin…"

"Nope!" Cana cackled, "She doesn't have that underwear for nothin'!"

Gray opened his mouth to reply. He was bowled over the floor.

Juvia nuzzled her herself into Gray, her arms squeezing his neck. Gray was sandwiched in between the water woman and the floor, pinned down by Juvia's weight and the force of her embrace.

"Gray-sama!" Juvia cried, "Love-rival is marrying another man! Juvia and Gray-sama are free to show their love!"

"What are you talking about?!" Gray spluttered, his face turning red from lack of oxygen.

Cana looked at the pair on the floor skeptically. "I can't tell if Juvia is day-dreaming again or their actually in a relationship," She remarked, taking a draft of beer from her barrel.

"Juvia and Gray are finally in a relationship too!" Mira cried.

Cana didn't bother correcting her.

"Two couples in one day!" Mira squealed, "There is hope for this guild yet! Of course, Lucy and Jellal was rather unexpected, but I've been planning the Gruvia wedding for months! And Jellal and Lucy need a ship name!"

Erza's ears perked up, "Juvia has finally managed to get through to Gray?"

Erza stood up, marching over to the pair on the floor. She pulled Juvia off of Gray, smashing the blue-haired woman's head to her breast-plate, "I knew that your determination would win out in the end, Juvia! You did not falter in your mission, and you achieved your goals! I am proud of you, Juvia."

The concussion Juvia had suffered at the hands of Erza's hug did not allow the water mage to express her confusion.

"JelLu!" Mira announced.

Even Laxus stopped his angry sparking to look at the white haired barmaid in confusion.

"The ship name!" Mira declared, smiling and clapping her hands together, "It's a combination of Lucy and Jellal's names. I have them for everyone! There's Gruvia, and Gajevy, and of course there's the less obvious ones-"

"Who are you callin' obvious?!" Gajeel roared. Mira ignored him.

"Like GrAna, Gray and Cana, or NaVia, Natsu and Juvia!" Mira chirped, "I love making up ships, and imagining the babies! Or imagining what leads to the ba-"

Wendy covered her ears and ran out of the guild, feeling that this was likely not a conversation that Charle would approve of her listening to.

_Slam._

Wendy looked up at the person she had just smacked into, letting out a small _Eep!_

"Lucy-san!" Wendy's face turned bright red. She bowed apologetically, "I'm sorry! Um… Congratulations on the baby, Lucy-san!" Wendy scampered off.

Lucy looked after the small girl, puzzled. _Baby? What baby?_ Lucy shrugged to herself. She had probably just misheard the sky dragon slayer. Humming to herself, Lucy walked into the guild.

And was greeted by absolute silence.

Roughly twenty people stared unblinkingly at Lucy. Natsu broke the silence first, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her back and forth, "Lucy! Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? When the baby comes, can I teach it fire magic?"

Lucy pulled away from her enthusiastic partner, trying to stop her eyes from rattling in her skull, "Pregnant? Natsu, what are you talking about?"

"Lucy!"

The blonde looked over Natsu's shoulder to see Erza standing authoritatively in the middle of the room.

"Erza, what's going on?" Lucy asked.

Erza dropped to one knee putting her fist on her heart, "I have been a horrible team-mate! When I learned of your relationship with Jellal, I planned to break you apart to satisfy my own jealousy! I am a terrible friend and a terrible guild-mate. Please hit me."

Lucy pushed Natsu aside to stand closer to the red headed woman. "You're a wonderful team-mate Erza! Jealousy is a completely natural response to- WAIT, WHAT?! RELATIONSHIP WITH JELLAL?!"

Erza rose to her feet, "I promise to support you in your pregnancy unconditionally to atone for my actions!" Erza slammed her fist to her chest.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Lucy cried.

Levy sidled up closer to the Celestial mage, "Now, now Lu-chan. You can stop pretending now."

The script mage took a step back, "To be honest, I was kind of hurt that you didn't tell me first, but I promise to forgive you if you make me godmother." A devious glint entered Levy's eyes.

Juvia jumped on Lucy with a tremendous bear hug. "You are no longer Juvia's love-rival! You are Juvia's best friend Lucy-san!"

Lucy laughed nervously and detangled herself from the enthusiastic water mage, "Um… Thanks?"

Lucy took a step back and collided with something solid. She spun around, only to find Laxus glowering into the distance. He looked down at her, his expression softening by a barely detectable amount.

"If he ever treats you wrong," Laxus growled, "Tell me and I'll fry him."

"Thank you, Lax-" Lucy stopped abruptly, "NO, WAIT I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!"

Cana put an arm around her shoulders, "You can stop the act, Lucy. We found the tape. I've just got one question," The brunette took a swig from her liquor bottle, "Was the sex good?"

Lucy leapt away from the alcoholic like Cana had the plague, only to knock into Mirajane. The silver haired woman smiled. "Hello, Lucy!"

Relaxing slightly Lucy sighed with relief, "Mira! I'm so confused! Everyone is saying that I'm preg-"

Mirajane tilted her head and smiled prettily, "I'd never pegged you as the type to make a sex tape Lucy! I suppose that you find out new things about people every day."

Lucy's face erupted into shades of red previously unknown to mankind.

"Mira!" Lucy shrilled.

"Now, now, Lucy! There's no need to be so embarrassed! Everyone has their own hobbies. Tell me, what are you thinking of naming your children?"

"You think that Jellal got me pregnant and we made a tape?!" Lucy waved her arms around.

"Why of course!" Mirajane showed Lucy the tape, "What else would this be?"

Lucy took the black, boxlike object, scrutinizing the label on the surface. Her face went an even deeper shade of red.

Jellal, being the unluckiest mage to ever grace the face of Earthland, chose that moment to stride into the Fairy Tail guild hall.

The doors slammed shut behind him. He cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Fairy Tail? During one of Crime Sorciere's-"

He was swiftly cut off by roughly twenty clamoring Fairy Tail mages. Laxus reached the former wizard saint. The burly blonde grabbed Jellal by his collar, nearly ripping the dark material.

"If you ever hurt her," Laxus growled, "I will personally ensure that are never, ever able to walk again. Am I clear?"

"What are you-," Jellal started, but Laxus was already stalking broodily away.

Erza strode forward, stopping in front of Jellal. She nodded, "I respect your choice and hope you have a successful relationship."

She turned and walked away. Gray made a move to come forward, but Mira cut him off, grabbing Jellal by the arm and leading (Dragging) him forward.

"Stand still," Mira chirped, "I want a couple picture!"

Jellal blinked in confusion, "Couple picture, Mirajane-san, what are you talking about?"

Lucy whimpered. She was still staring at the label on the tape in disbelief.

"And what's wrong with Lucy? Is she alright? She's been staring at that since I arrived," Jellal added as an afterthought.

"Why Jellal, doesn't it look familiar?" Mirajane asked innocently.

"It looks like a tape, Mirajane-san," Jellal responded, "Is someone going to explain what's going on?"

"We know all about you and Lucy, Jellal," Mira began rummaging in her pockets, "Do you know what you're naming the babies?"

"Babies?!" Jellal held his hands out in front of him, "We went to lunch ONCE when we saw each other on a job! This is going a bit far."

Mira pulled a camera out of her dress pocket, "We found the tape Jellal. I don't know why you two are so intent on keeping this secret."

"Tape?" Jellal furrowed his eyebrows, "Lucy, may I see that?"

Lucy handed him the tape wordlessly.

The heavenly body mage squinted down at the label. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. He hurled the black box against the guild wall, which it hit with a loud _Thud_.

"Midnight," Jellal growled, his eye twitching.

He turned to face the rest of the guild, taking a deep breath. "I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you, but the tape is by no means a documentation of," Jellal's face flushed bright red, "Any bedroom activities. One of my guild mates apparently wanted to cause me trouble and thought this would be hilarious. If you watch the tape, it will most likely be blank. If you'll excuse me now, I have someone to obliterate."

Jellal stalked out of the guild hall.

Mira smiled, turning to Lucy, "Didn't Jellal say something about a lunch date?"

Lucy buried her face in her hands, "Mira!"

Erza jumped up from her chair, "Lucy! I can now exercise my right to challenge you to a duel!"

"But I don't want to duel!" Lucy cried.

"Is Lucy-san Juvia's love-rival or not?" Juvia wailed.

Natsu looked around the guild, his eyes bouncing from mage to mage, "Wait… Is Lucy pregnant or not?!"


	19. Match Made in Heaven: Drabble

Jellal sauntered up to the crimson haired swords mage.

"Hey Erza," Jellal smirked, "You know, some people would say we're a match made in _Heaven_."

Erza slapped him.


	20. Daily

Lucy frowned at her snickering best friend.

"Levy-chan! It's not funny!" She whined, wiping at the soot coating her face.

Levy schooled her face into a serious expression, "I'm sorry Lu, it's just," She burst out laughing again, "You look so funny!"

Lucy pouted at her roommate, "I can't help it! I've never been any good at potions."

Levy's giggles died away, "Don't worry, Lu-chan! You're great at summoning!" She comforted the sulking witch.

The blonde sniffed, "You really think so Levy-chan?"

Levy nodded enthusiastically, "You summoned me, didn't you?"

She seemed to consider this for a while before she turned to the ghost and smiled, "I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right!" Levy declared, planting her hands on her hips. She surveyed the damage that Lucy's attempted love potion had caused. The bookshelves were blackened from the soot, the couches were charred, and the coffee table Lucy's cauldron had been placed on was a lump of charcoal. Lucy's cauldron came out of it miraculously unscathed.

"I'm going to start making dinner while you clean this up," Levy told the blonde, who looked at the mess in despair.

Levy swept out of the room, her mist-like limbs dispersing and reforming as she walked through the singed sofa.

The poltergeist floated into the kitchen. She looked around, genuinely surprised to note that there was no one in the kitchen. Usually Natsu was camping out here, or Gray, and occasionally Gajeel.

She blushed a little, thinking of the were-wolf.

Levy opened the fridge, letting the door sweep through her body instead of stepping around. She felt the blast of cool air on her, making her flicker.

"I knew it," Levy giggled.

Gray was curled up in the bottom of the refrigerator, his clothes thrown over various food items. His wings were tilted at a strange, uncomfortable looking angle, jammed against the back of the fridge. A slice of Lucy's favorite cheese hung off of the tip of one feather. Levy stifled a snort at the sight of the boread.

"No, Juvia!" He mumbled, tossing over in his sleep, "I'm not a safety pin!"

Levy's eyebrows shot up.

"Gray," Levy said, "Gray, you need to wake up."

All the ice spirit did was turn over, clawing weekly at the side of the fridge.

"Gray! ~" Levy repeated, sing-song.

No reaction.

The blue haired ghost smirked deviously. Reaching out a light blue hand, she grabbed the handle of the coffee maker. She had brewed the pot just fifteen minutes ago, leaving the liquid still uncomfortably warm.

She dumped the pot on Gray.

The black haired spirit shot up, hitting his head on the top of the fridge, "I'm pretty, but I'm not in fashion!" He shouted, before looking around in confusion.

Levy rolled around in the air, howling with laughter, "Oh my god, oh my god," She breathed, "What kind of dreams do you have?"

"Shut up," Gray mumbled, stepping out of the fridge, "Juvia wanted me to try on a prince costume. It's a nightmare."

Levy stifled her chortles, straightening out so her feet hovered just a foot off the floor. Gray was attempting to scrape off the coffee that had frozen to his light blue skin. His wings fluttered behind him, the cheese still stubbornly clinging to one feather.

"Since you're here," Levy started.

"Hey, Levy-chan," Lucy walked into the room, straightening her hat, "I finished up the cleaning and I was wondering-"

She froze, her eyes fixed on Gray's wing.

"Is that… my… cheese?" Lucy asked, her hands clenching into fists as she lowered her bangs to cover her eyes.

"Um…" Gray laughed nervously. His voice was several octaves too high.

Lucy whipped the wand from her belt, snapping the tip to him. A dark orb of energy coalesced at the tip, launching at Gray. The black light engulfed him, shrinking him until he disappeared with a pop and a flash of light.

Levy rolled her eyes. Lucy was always touchy about her cheese, and Gray should know not to sleep in the fridge by now.

"So, as I was saying," Lucy continued, rolling her eyes, "Do you need help with dinner?"

A/N: I'm sorry this was so short. And that I haven't updated in a while. I'm still taking requests if you want to submit them, and I'll try to update again sooner. Constructive criticism is also always welcome!


	21. END

"After a lengthy session of research," Master Makarov announced to the guild, "We have finally determined what E.N.D. stands for."

He cleared his throat, holding a note card before him.

"**E**vil **N**atsu **D**ragneel's girlfriend," His voice bounced through the guild.

Everyone in the guild whipped their heads around to stare at Lucy.

The celestial mage froze, her straw hanging out of her mouth. She let it drop back into her vanilla milkshake and looked around, unnerved by the stares fixed on her. Realization dawned.

"What? You think it's…" She pointed to herself.

Everyone nodded.

"I'm not Natsu's girlfriend!" She yelped, a bright brush covering her cheeks, "And I'm certainly not EVIL!"

"I don't know," Gajeel mumbled, "That kick is pretty fierce."

"And she screeches like a hellion," Natsu added, helpfully.

"Hey!" Lucy protested. No one paid her any attention.

"She IS pretty savage," Jet muttered to Droy.

"Really vain too," Bixlow cackled.

Gray scratched the back of his head, "I hate to say this, but she's really stingy. But I don't think she's Natsu's girlfriend…"

"So you think that I'm evil, but you don't think I have a boyfriend?!" Lucy cried, outraged. She turned, pleading to Levy, "You don't think that I'm evil, do you Levy-chan."

Levy sniffed, "Only someone truly heartless would kill the main character's best love interest like you did," She declared.

"Even you, Levy-chan!" Lucy wailed. She felt a slight tug on her sleeve. She turned her head, seeing Wendy pinching her sleeve.

"I don't think that you're evil, Lucy-san," She mumbled.

Lucy opened her mouth to thank the shy girl. She was swiftly interrupted.

"Wendy!" Charle's harsh voice cut through their conversation, "Get away from her this instant! She's evil!"

Lucy slammed her head into the bar, groaning to herself about stupid guild mates.

A/N: After the Lumen Histoire reveal, I had to jump on the bandwagon. Sorry, but not really. I recently realized that I completely forgot to reply to all the people who sent their support through the reviews. I'm really sorry for that. I want everyone who reviewed to know that your support really means a lot to me. Like really. They mean the world to me. Anyway, requests are still open, and constructive criticism is always welcome!


	22. Love potion

Triumphantly, Lucy raised the small crystal vial into the air.

"I've done it, Levy-chan!" Lucy yelled, "I've done it."

"What've you done?" Levy yawned, materializing slowly.

Lucy thrust the hot pink vial towards Levy's face, and began dancing around the room. The floor, Levy noted, was littered with books and stirring instruments. Smack in the middle of the floor was a tipped over cauldron, a drop of the same hot pink liquid in the vial clinging to the rim.

"The love potion!" Lucy crowed, "Once I give it to that goblin at the bank, our rent problems will be over forever!"

"I need to get changed now~" Lucy sang, setting down the love potion and spinning out of the cluttered potion's room and into her bedroom.

Levy smiled fondly and made a note to add this as another journal entry in "My Best Friend is a Sweetheart but She's also Morally Defunct."

The blue haired ghost could hear Lucy through the door, joyfully singing something along the lines of "My rent problems are over, my rent problems are over, three cheers 'cause I'll never be broke again!"

Levy sighed at the other girl, shook her head and propelled herself forward, crouching down to study the hot pink love potion.

Lucy had set it down on the end table holding the potions book. Curious, Levy peered at the page, reading the block of text that gave information about the potion.

_The potion detailed on this page is of the Compulsory sort. It inspires infatuation versus __passion__, and will force the victim to become your willing servant until the antidote is administered. T__he potion takes effect as soon as the victim sights another creature__. __The effect lessens with distance._

"Lu-chan?" Levy called.

"Yes?" Her reply was muffled through the door, but the triumphant note was still plain.

"Isn't it kind of... wrong to use this on someone?" Levy floundered for words.

"No worries," Lucy sang, "80,000 jewels will barely put a dent in his bank account. Besides, it's like the book said! He'll barely be affected when I'm not there!"

"But..." _You're abysmal at potions. What if you screwed it up?_ Levy cleared her throat, "What if something goes wrong and it doesn't have the intended effect?"

Lucy burst through the door, clad in her black pointed hat and her striped purple stockings. Stars hung from her ears.

"You're worrying to much!" Lucy smiled, "In any case, I've got the antidote here!"

She held out another vial, purple this time, and shook it.

Lucy wiggled her toes, "I'm going to go get my shoes on."

She disappeared through the another door at the opposite end of the room. Levy turned, about to follow.

"Hey, Lucy!" Natsu burst through Lucy's bedroom door, followed shortly by a furry blue animal.

"She's in the other room," Levy started, but the pink haired ifrit ignored her. He bounded to the table in the middle of the room, bending to peer at the hot pink vial. The flames topping his curved horns glowed brighter with enthusiasm. He turned to his feline companion.

"Hey, Happy!" He called, "This looks cool! Do you think Lucy made it?"

"That's not-" Levy tried again, but she was cut off.

"Of course not," Happy waved his paw dismissively, "Lucy can't make potions right."

Levy put her hands on her hips, "That's not very nice of you to-"

"I'm going to try it!" Natsu declared, coal black eyes gleaming in excitement. The black patches of scales under his eyes glowed red.

He snatched the vial off the table. Levy swung her arm, trying to knock the vial out of his hand, but her arm passed harmlessly through his.

Levy watched in horror as Natsu popped the glass stopper out of the crystal bottle, brought it to his mouth and downed the whole thing in one gulp.

_Lucy is going to be SO pissed._

The potion took effect immediately. Natsu looked up, a light flush appearing on his ash gray skin. His wings fluttered lightly behind him.

"Levy...?" His eyes focused on her.

_No. No, no no. No no no nonononononono. Crap._

"You're hair is... really pretty," He smiled absently.

"Lu-chan?" Levy called.

Lucy appeared in the doorway, tugging on one of her tall black boots. She took stock of the situation quickly, her brown eyes flickering over the empty vial, the spaced out Natsu, panicked Levy, and Happy snickering in the corner.

"He drank the love potion?!" Lucy cried, abandoning her boot on the floor, she fisted her hands in her hair, "My rent..." she groaned.

Happy burst into full laughter.

"Levy-hime," Natsu's features hardened. He clapped his fist over his heart, "I am your's to command," He declared, "I will do anything to prove my love to you!"

"Shut up, Natsu," Lucy groaned, collapsing onto the floor, "You're like twelve."

"I don't want you to do anything!" Levy protested, waving her arms.

"If that's what you wish, Levy-hime," Natsu collapsed to the floor. The movement of his ribs halted as he stopped breathing.

"That's not what I meant!" Levy cried. Natsu's cheeks began to turn red. Levy waved her arms, "No, wait! Breathe!"

Natsu gasped and began breathing again. Happy laughed with renewed enthusiasm. Natsu climbed to his feet, holding out his arms, "Levy-hime! You've saved me!"

He ran towards her. She ducked away, and he charged into a table, toppling a stack of books and glass equipment to the floor. The glass tubes shattered on the floor.

"I didn't save you!" Levy protested, "I just told you to breathe! Lu-chan, do something!"

Natsu ran at the spirit again, his arms still outstretched.

"The rent," Lucy groaned, rolling over on the floor and burying her face into the crook of her elbow. Levy gaped.

"Lu-chan!" Levy yelled, "You need to fix Natsu!"

"Just tell me what to do, my princess, and it shall be done," Natsu declared, dropping to one knee. Levy could practically see sparkles in the air around him.

"He's starting to sound like Loke," Happy remarked.

"I want you to stop acting weird," Levy demanded, "That's what I want."

"I'm not acting weird," Natsu sniffed as if affronted, "That's Lucy's job."

"Of course," Lucy growled, her face still hidden in her arm, "Even under a mind altering potion, he can still find a way to insult me."

Natsu continued staring up at Levy, completely disregarding the blonde. Levy squirmed under the scrutiny.

"Lu-chan..." Levy laughed nervously, "You need to give Natsu the antidote. He's really creeping me out..."

"Alright," Lucy groaned, pushing herself off the floor. She reached into the pocket of her skirt, "It's right here."

She pulled the purple vial out of her pocket by the glass bulb on the top.

Lucy uncapped the bottle. "You need to tell him to drink it, Levy-chan."

"Yo, Lucy!" Gray's head popped out of the chimney. Lucy pitched forward in surprise, the glass container flying out of her hand.

Levy watched in slow motion as the glass vial flew forward in a slow arc, curving towards the floor. It spun once, twice, three times in the air, before the side of the thin glass bottle struck the floor. Shards of crystalline material flew in all directions.

"I was wondering if I could hide in your kitchen," Gray continued, "Juvia is..."

Levy turned her eyes away from the spreading purple puddle. Her eyes narrowed menacingly as they fixed onto the black haired boread.

"Natsu..." She growled, gritting her teeth. She stabbed her finger in Gray's direction, "Get him."

**So, hello again everyone! It's been a while since I've updated, and I'm sorry I didn't get to it sooner. This one is in response to CreamyWhipped's question about exactly who Lucy was making the Love Potion for in 'Daily.' Thank you to anyone who reviewed last chapter. As always, requests are open (and appreciated!) and constructive criticism is always welcome.**


	23. Christmas Lights: NaLu

The lights danced in her eyes, jumping like so many fireflies in her golden brown irises. Her look of awe broke into a wide grin.

"Is it..." She breathed, "Is it always like this at Christmas time here?"

She turned to face him, the fairy lights still shining in her eyes. Natsu grinned, nodding his head enthusiastically.

"Mirajane always goes all out on the Christmas tree," Natsu pulled some candy-canes out of his pocket, "But everyone always adds something."

He pointed to a delicate crystal ornament hanging from one of the lowest boughs of the great pine. It caught the light from one of the glowing fairy lights and reflected it back in scintillating rainbow hues. Lucy gasped.

"The ice bastard and Juvia worked together on those," Natsu explained, "Elfman hung the garlands, Romeo hung the tinsel, Evergreen got glitter everywhere, and Laxus is powering the fairy lights. Wendy and Charle helped Asuka put the star on the tree."

Lucy could see the evidence of everyone else's touch on the tree too. There were origami cranes hanging on the branches, a contribution Lucy noted as distinctly Levy. Kinana had placed pots of poinsettia around the base of the trunk, and Erza's touch pronounced itself with a sword stuck through the trunk of the tree. Little iron snowflakes were scattered throughout the tree. Lucy giggled. She could envision Gajeel being forced to participate by Mirajane, Lily and Erza, or guilt-tripped into it by Wendy and Levy.

Natsu pointed to a slightly charred clay dragon.

"That one's mine from the year I first came to the guild," A grin overtook his face, "Somewhere on the tree is one that Cana made from all the broken beer bottles in the guild's recycling. We play a game to try and find it, and who ever gets it first wins a surprise."

"Wow," Lucy breathed. She turned back to Natsu, "Why didn't anyone tell me about this? I would have loved to help."

Natsu scratched the back of his neck sheepishly and handed Lucy a candy-cane. She unwrapped the straight end and popped it into her mouth.

"I asked them not to," Natsu confessed, "I wanted to do it together, as a team."

Lucy smiled, "Really? That's so nice of you."

"It was my idea too," Happy yawned, uncurling from his place in the crook of Lucy's arm.

"So what are we going to do first?" Lucy asked, smiling at the blue exceed.

Natsu held up his armful of candy-canes, "We're gonna put these all around the tree!" He declared, "And then we're gonna make a bunch more ornaments! They'll be better than anything that Ice princess could ever make!"

Lucy leaned into Natsu's side, and he put his arm around her shoulders. Happy curled up on top of Natsu's head.

"It'll be the best Christmas tree the guild has ever seen," Lucy confirmed, "I'm all fired up!"

**A/N: Risshu requested some Nalu for this chapter, and I hope this sufficed! I apologize it's so short. Anyway, if you have a request, just send it in. Anything that isn't M-rated. I will accept any pairing, and do my best with any prompt you run my way. Also, constructive critiscm is always great!**


	24. Early Morning Adventures

Smelling smoke in the air for the third time that week, Lucy couldn't be bothered to contain her growl. Here she was on her one day off, for god's sake, and she couldn't enjoy it because the _idiot_ below her couldn't be bothered to learn how to make waffles.

How did she know that he was trying to make waffles? Because he was screaming his frustration to the high heavens, that's how.

Lucy dunked her spoon into her bowl of Cinnamon Toast crunch and raised it up again, pulling the utensil to her lips.

"GOD DAMN IT! I AM AN ADULT! WHY CAN'T I MAKE WAFFLES?! THIS WORLD HAS SOMETHING AGAINST ME!"

The spoon dropped to the table with a clatter, splashing sugar laced milk onto Lucy's fluffy bathrobe.

All she wanted- ALL SHE WANTED- was one day. Just one, where she could relax and work on her novel and not have to deal with crazy neighbors. That was it. That was all she asked for. Didn't she deserve it?

Yes, she did, and she was going downstairs to drill that into this guy's head.

Lucy stormed out of her apartment, tying the sash of the bathrobe tightly around her waist as she slammed the door behind her. She stomped down the red carpeted hallways of her floor of the apartment building and grabbed the metal rail of the stairwell, making her frustration clear as she slammed her feet into every stair step.

She rampaged past 4A, 4B, 4C, and 4D, halting in front of the door to 4E. She slammed her fist into the wood.

No response.

She knocked again forcefully, her knuckles making loud rapping sounds on the wood of the door. "Open up, you jerk!" She shouted into the wood, pounding on the door.

She waited, tapping her foot on the hardwood floor, and then slammed her palm down on the doorbell. She could heart the chiming from her position on the outside of the generic door. She rapped her knuckles on the wood again.

Still, no one responded. She took a deep breath.

It was time for drastic measures.

Lucy stalked back to the stairwell and up the stairs, plotting to herself. She was going to teach this guy a lesson about not disturbing people at six in the morning if it cost her her sanity.

Rushing down the hallway and back to her room, Lucy threw open the door and slipped inside her apartment. She hurried past her now-soggy bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and slipped into her bedroom, digging through her drawers until she found what she was looking for.

She rifled through the shirts and short skirts until... there!

Digging the cache of belts out of the corner, she neatly replaced the rest of her shirts and skirts. She shut the drawer.

"IT'S GOT TO BE THIS DAMNED WAFFLE IRON! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I COULD SUCK SO BAD AT SOMETHING SO SIMPLE!"

The shout was followed by a loud clatter and a string of curses so vulgar Lucy felt herself blush just hearing them.

The noises just strengthened Lucy's resolve to go through with her quest. Grabbing the bundle of belts, Lucy moved out of the bedroom and into the living space. She sat down on the couch and began her task, taking the leather strips and attaching them to each other until they formed a sort of rope.

She took one end of her improvised rappelling line and secured it to her waist before moving out onto her balcony and slipping the other end around the cast iron railing. She tested her weight against the line, pleased when she didn't rip the banister out of the ground.

Finally, Lucy swung her legs over the railing, placing her toes on the lip of stone that stuck out past the banister. She began her descent, holding tight to the bars of the handrail and lowering herself slowly so she dangled in the gap between the two balconies. With one hand, she let go of the handrail, letting herself swing precariously in the empty air.

She gritted her teeth, fighting back a terrified squeak. _Can't go back now,_ she thought, _I don't have enough upper body strength to pull myself back up._

Using the hand that she had taken off the hand rail, she took hold of her makeshift rope. The banister gave a worrying _Screech._ Lucy shuddered but, firm in her coarse of action, grabbed onto the belt-rope with her other hand. She swayed wildly.

Lucy tightened her hold on the rope.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, mama help me," She muttered under her breath, her muscles shaking with the strain.

She moved one hand down the line carefully, her other arm protesting the sudden increase in weight. Her hand found the belt line again, closing around a metal buckle.

Lucy released the makeshift rope with her other hand and dropped a foot. Her other hand slipped down the rope, taking some skin off of her palm. She bounced up and down in mid-air.

The banister let out another pained groan.

With a sharp intake of breath, Lucy tightened her hold on the belts. She shut her eyes tightly. She could almost see her epitaph now. _Lucy Heartfilia,_ it would read in looping font, _Died rappelling from her balcony so she could tell her neighbor __off __for his ineptitude at cooking waffles. R.I.P._

"What the hell?!" A masculine voice sounded below her. Lucy's brain distantly made the connection with the man who was shouting about how he couldn't make waffles at six in the morning. The man who started this whole unpleasant business.

"Could you help me out here?!" Lucy shouted down to him, a slight flame of hope igniting in her stomach. Maybe she would survive today

Lucy felt large hands come into contact with her back, supporting her and taking some of the strain off of her own arms.

"Alright," His voice was laced with confusion. It was nowhere near as annoying as it was when he was shouting about waffles, "You can let go now."

Lucy obliged, dropping her whole weight into his arms. She opened her eyes slowly.

She noticed now that she'd laced her arms around his neck subconsciously, leaving her pressed against his bare chest. One of his arms was supporting her back, and her knees were hooked around the other. He made no move to release her from his grip.

"Um... you can let me down now..." Lucy squeaked. Blood rushed to her cheeks.

"Nah," He said, setting her down.

Her feet hit the concrete of the balcony, and she levered herself to a standing position. She let go of his neck and took a large step back, feeling her face get hot. She didn't look at him, trying to fight down the blush on her face, and busied herself with releasing the belt from around her waist.

When the support was off, and the whole of the belt chain hung straight from her balcony, she spun to face the obnoxious waffle maker.

Holy Lord God almighty. He was hot. And shirtless.

Lucy struggled to keep down the resurfacing blush and tried to keep her eyes on his deep blue orbs instead of his well-formed abs and chest. The smirk on his face told her that she wasn't doing the job as well as she would have liked to.

"I'm here to teach you how to cook," Lucy declared, well aware that her cheeks were redder than her friend Erza's hair.

"What?" That wiped the smirk off his face.

Lucy stabbed her finger in his direction accusingly, "I am sick and tired of waking up at six in the morning because you're shouting about how you can't make waffles!" She threw her hands in the air, "I have learned at least five new swear words just because you can't seem to use a waffle iron! It's simple! It really is!"

Her neighbor drew back, startled at her outburst, "Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter," Lucy shouted, marching past him, through the screen doors and into his kitchen.

He trailed after her, scratching his scalp through his light blond hair.

Lucy stopped dead in the middle of the kitchen floor, surveying her surroundings with mounting horror.

"What?" The guy asked, "What is it?"

The kitchen was covered in splatters of cream colored waffle batter. The table was covered in a viable puddle of the stuff. The floor was practically a mine field, every two feet it seemed as if someone had dumped a pitcher of waffle batter onto the floor. The walls had been splatter painted, and not even the ceiling was spared from the disaster. A broom lay in the middle of the floor, the handle smeared with flour and waffle mixture. The counter was covered in scorch marks and lumps of charcoal. The waffle iron was completely black from ash.

"Do you LIVE like this?!" Lucy demanded.

He crossed his arms, "You just randomly came down from the balcony above me! You can't judge me on life choices!"

Lucy was already busy. She grabbed a towel from the kitchen table and rinsed it in the sink. She walked back to the table, taking care to avoid the puddles on the floor, and began wiping it down, sweeping the cloth in wide arcing motions over the wooden surface.

"Stop that!" Her neighbor protested.

Lucy continued to scrub furiously, finishing the table and moving on to the counter. She grabbed the garbage can from it's alcove beside the refrigerator and swept the lumps of charcoal and loose flakes of ash into the plastic bag. She began to work on the smears of ash with the towel.

"Hey!" The blond guy stepped forward, his heel sinking into a puddle of waffle batter. He pitched backward. He fought valiantly to keep his balance, but failed, his momentum carrying him forwards. His arms pinwheeled as he slid across the tile floor of the kitchen.

Lucy stepped forward, reaching a hand out to steady him. His arm caught Lucy around the ankle as he fell, yanking her off balance and sending the ash stained dish towel into the air.

Lucy's palms struck the tile first, followed by the jolting impact of her tail-bone against the marble floor. She heard a loud crash to her left.

"Ow..." She moaned, getting to her knees and rubbing her butt with her palm.

"Aw, hell," Exclaimed the pained voice of her blond neighbor.

Lucy turned to look at the source of the voice.

He laid on his back in the small foyer, next to an over turned coat rack and a shattered mirror. A red brown cat trotted up to him, purring contentedly as he settled into her neighbor's stomach.

"Seven years bad luck, starting at exactly this moment," The blond muttered under his breath.

He ran his hand across the cat's back.

Her neighbor sat up, and the cat gave a startled sound before hopping to it's feet and racing off down the hall. The blond man began picking up the pieces of the shattered mirror off the ground.

After a second, Lucy joined him, collecting the jagged pieces carefully and setting the cracked frame off to the side. She frowned at the mess on the ground, casting a glance at her neighbor to make sure he hadn't been cut by the glass.

"Do you want me to get a broom or a dustpan or something?" She offered after several minutes of silence, holding several of the larger pieces of the mirror and staring at the powdery slivers of glass that still littered the floor.

"Yeah," He replied, still focused on the glass disaster, "It's in the closet at the end of the hall."

"Alright," Lucy responded, "I'll be right back."

Lucy stood up and crossed back into the kitchen. She dumped the glass shards into the bag with the charcoal. She left the kitchen again and walked down the length of the hallway, reaching a wooden door at the end. Remembering the state of the kitchen, Lucy took a deep breath before she swung open the closet door.

The closet was surprisingly neat and clean, everything organized onto the appropriate shelf, the hardwood floor clean and dustless.

Lucy stuck her head in the closet, looking for the broom. She didn't see it.

"Excuse me?" She called, "I don't see the broom here."

"One minute," He yelled back. Lucy heard a clatter as he dumped more glass shards into the garbage, and then the soft thud of footsteps approaching her. He turned the corner and Lucy stepped back further into the closet to let him in.

"Should be there," He frowned.

He turned around, his elbow knocking into the brass knob on the inside of the door. The door swung in, hitting the door frame and closing with an audible _click. _The pair was submerged in darkness.

"Goddammit," The blond guy cursed, stepping forward and crashing into Lucy, "I hate it when this happens. Just let me find the door knob and..."

"Ouch!" Lucy yelped as his heel dug into the top of her foot.

"Sorry... crap!" A loud _crash_ was heard as her neighbor presumably walked into one of the shelves, "Wait... what's this?" His hand closed on something soft.

"Get your hands off of me!" Lucy cried, covering her breasts with her arms and jumping away from him. Her elbow connected with something metal that rested on one of the shelves. It fell to the floor, emitting a loud _CLANG_.

"Crap!" He yelled, "That was my foot!"

"I'm sorry!" Lucy yelled, waving her arms wildly. The back of her hand collided with something soft.

"Oh my god," The blond groaned, his voice muffled, "That was my face!"

"I am so sorry!" Lucy cried.

"Whatever," He growled, "I think I found the door knob... Crap."

"What? What is it?" Lucy asked.

"It's..." He laughed nervously, "It's locked."

Lucy froze, "Can you... Can you repeat that?"

"It's locked," He repeated.

"It's... It's locked..." Lucy whispered, "It CAN'T be locked! I don't want to be stuck in a closet on my only day off this week!" She screamed.

"It's okay-" Her neighbor started.

"It's not okay!" She yelled back, "It is so not okay! I can't be stuck in here! I need to work on my novel, and get the next chapter to Levy-chan because I promised! I don't want to be stuck in a closet for the rest of my life! I've got potential! I'm beautiful! Too beautiful to be stuck in a closet!"

"You keep saying that," He grumbled, "You're not stuck-"

Lucy whirled to face his voice in the darkness. She stabbed her finger in his general direction, "How am I not stuck? We are LOCKED in the CLOSET if you have already forgotten!"

"Calm down," The guy placated, "I have a friend coming over at five."

_Thank God. _Lucy sank down to the floor of the closet.

"Besides," Her neighbor started, and Lucy could practically hear the smirk in the other blond's voice, "There's worse things than being in close quarters with a guy as hot as me."

_He's a pervert!_ Lucy thought, _He is hot though. Those abs- WHAT AM I THINKING?!_

He sat down beside her on the floor of the closet, close enough for his knee to brush her thigh when he crossed his arms. He fell silent. Lucy opened her mouth to break the uncomfortable silence.

Her neighbor beat her to the punch, "I think my lip is swelling up..."

"I'm really sorry," Lucy winced.

He ignored her, "Yup, definitely swelling up now."

"I said I was sorry..." Lucy mumbled.

"Oh the pain," He sighed melodramatically, "I think we may have to amputate..."

"Stop trying to guilt trip me!" Lucy snapped, "I already apologized!"

They lapsed into silence again. Lucy fiddled with the hem of her skirt, scooting towards the wall of the closet and away from the blond man.

"Hey...?" Lucy started.

He grunted.

"I'm really sorry about this..." She muttered.

"About what? My lip? You did already apologize," He mumbled.

Lucy waved her hand, even though she knew that he couldn't see her in the inky darkness, "I was talking about rappelling down from my balcony and invading your kitchen."

"Oh," Then, "That's alright. Added excitement to my day."

Lucy hugged her knees to her chest, trying to save space in the cramped cupboard.

"When did you say that your friend was coming over?" Lucy blurted, unable to keep her mouth shut. The blood rushed to her cheeks..

"At five," He replied.

"Okay," Lucy rested her chin on her knees.

"Is being stuck in a closet with me really that bad?" He joked, "I mean, most girls would kill for this opportunity."

Lucy could see why, but she wasn't going to tell him that and feed his apparently large ego, "I don't really want to be trapped in a closet with anyone."

"Well I'm not just anyone," He replied easily, and Lucy envisioned the eyebrow wiggle and wink that would accompany that statement.

"Oh yeah!" Lucy snapped her fingers at her sudden realization, "I don't even know your name."

Lucy swore she heard a cricket chirp in the disbelieving silence that followed her statement.

"You climbed down onto my balcony without even knowing my name?!" He yelled.

Sheepishly, Lucy laughed, poking her fingers together, "Yeah... it wasn't such a good idea in hindsight..."

"God you're a weirdo..." He mumbled, and then raised his voice, "I'm Sting. Sting Eucliffe."

"Just so you know," Lucy said, "I don't usually meet people this way."

"I'm sure," Sting grumbled, "And you are...?"

Reflexively, Lucy stuck out her hand for him to shake before realizing that he couldn't see her. She pulled her hand back, "I'm Lucy."

Sting snorted, "Just Lucy? No last name?"

"No last name," Lucy confirmed, nodding vehemently in the darkness, "Just Lucy."

"That's not fair," The blue eyed man fake sniffed, "I give you my last name, but you don't give me your's? Where's the fairness?"

_This guy..._ Lucy sighed, "How's that not fair? It's not like I asked for your last name..."

"But I still gave it!" He protested, "In exchange, I propose you tell me something about yourself."

"That's ridiculous," Lucy protested.

"No, it's not," Sting said, "It's fair."

Lucy squinted at him incredulously, "You sound like a child. I don't have to tell you anything."

He gasped in mock hurt, "How could you? I'm being perfectly grown-up. You're the one who refuses to agree to just answer a question."

"Fine," Lucy buried her head in her knees, knowing that he wouldn't stop until she gave in, "What did you have in mind?"

"First you have to promise that you'll answer whatever question I ask completely honestly," Sting demanded.

She crossed her arms stubbornly, "I won't answer any perverted questions."

Lucy could hear the triumphant grin in his voice, "Deal! So you promise?"

"I promise," Lucy confirmed, "And I never break my promises."

"Okay!" The eager tone of his voice made Lucy shudder in apprehension, "What's your cup size? Those things are huge!"

Blushing furiously, Lucy covered her breasts with her arms.

"We agreed no perverted questions!" She protested, reaching out with one arm and slapping him, hard, on the shoulder.

"Ow," He whined, "I was just kidding! And how did you even hit me?! It's pitch black in here!"

"Feminine intuition," Lucy stuck her nose in the air.

"Yeah, whatever," Sting muttered petulantly, "Do you believe in soul-mates?"

Lucy pulled back, frowning, "What was that?"

"Do you believe in soul-mates?" Sting repeated, mumbling.

"Well, yeah," Lucy smiled, "I'd like to believe they exist at least, that there are these two souls who'll always find each other no matter what."

"Do you think that you've found yours?" The mumbling, embarrassed quality was gone from his voice, leaving it sounding slightly pensive.

Lucy frowned thoughtfully, "I don't know," She admitted, "I think that I'd feel something... but who really knows, right?"

"Yeah," Sting sighed. Lucy felt his hand brush against hers. The closet fell silent again, before Lucy realized something. She smirked deviously, chuckling to herself. Oh, what to do, what to do? This would be fun.

Sting shifted away from her, "What's up with that creepy laughing?"

"It's not creepy!" She yelled, "I just realized that you asked me two questions."

He paused for a moment before answering, "Yeah, so?"

"I get to ask you a question!" Lucy smirked triumphantly, "You have to answer honestly. It's only fair after all."

"Whatever," Sting sighed, "Ask away."

Lucy opened her mouth, then closed it, thinking of no question that she could ask him.

"I'll get back to you on that," She mumbled. She cleared her throat, raising her voice and asking, "What time is it, do you think?"

"One minute," Sting replied, there was a sound of rummaging, before the closet lit up with a bluish glow, "It's 11:58."

"You had your phone this whole time?!" Lucy shouted, waving her arms around in the air, "I could have called Natsu or Erza or someone to get out of here!"

"Chill out," Sting raised an eyebrow at her fuming, "I don't have any service. Forgot to pay the phone bills."

Blushing, Lucy smiled sheepishly, "Oh..."

She peaked over at the phone screen. His background was a picture of a gathering of people, Sting in the front, grinning and flashing a peace sign. He had his arm wrapped around a shy silver-haired woman who was about Lucy's height and build. On her other side was a dark haired man wrapped in a heavy coat. He was in the process of rolling his eyes in the picture. A dark haired woman stood off to Sting's other side, smirking confidently at the camera, her dark eyes narrowed. Two men stood in the background, a blond man with long hair and a book in his hand, and a large, bulky man about Laxus' size with a mane of green hair to rival Gajeel's.

"These guys are my friends at Sabertooth," Sting answered her unspoken question, "It's a bar across town."

He pointed to the silver-haired woman, "That's Yukino," He moves his finger to the dark-haired man, the smirking woman, the blond, and then the bulky green-haired guy, "Rogue, the one who's coming at five to get us out of here, Minerva, Rufus, and Orga."

_His friends look almost as weird as mine, _Lucy thinks, _at least none of his friends seem to be a c__ompulsive__ stripper._

An app on the screen caught Lucy's attention, "Is that Fruit Ninja?"

"Yeah," Sting poked the screen, bringing up the Fruit Ninja background.

"I can totally beat your high score," Lucy said.

"Oh really?" Sting asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, really," Lucy replied, smirking back confidently.

"You're on," Sting growled.

Lucy snatched the phone from his hand and stabbed at the screen, bringing the game up in Classic. She slashed at the first fruit, acutely aware of Sting hovering over her shoulder, watching her every move. She tried to ignore him, focusing on the fruits that were being thrown onto the screen.

He leaned even closer, his (still shirtless) chest pressing against her shoulder. She missed her first fruit, a watermelon dropping off screen and adding a single red X to the top of the screen.

"Will you please stop that?!" She cried, not taking her eyes off the screen as she slashed wildly at a strawberry to keep it from falling off the screen. There were only fifty points before she hit his high score. She slashed an orange in half. Forty-nine.

"Stop what?" Sting asked, voice dripping with false innocence.

Her blade cut through three apples in a row. The points went up. "You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

"Can't resist my extreme sexiness, can you?" He threw his arm around her shoulder.

Her face exploded in a vibrant blush. Only ten more points, and the bombs were coming more heavily than ever, "Stop that!"

"It's perfectly understandable," He continued, "Even I am overwhelmed sometimes, but alas, it's a curse I must live with..."

Two more points... just two more... She cut through four fruits in a line, rocketing herself to 655, just two over his score. She threw the phone into his lap, practically teleporting to the other wall of the closet.

Sting picked the phone up, staring at the screen in amazement. "You actually beat it? What the hell?! I worked for like six months for that score!"

"I guess I'm just a better player than you," Lucy gloated, a self satisfied smirk settling onto her face. She realized she was still pressed up against the wall of the closet and peeled herself off.

Narrowing his eyes, Sting frowned at her, "Fine. I'll give you that. But I can beat you at Angry Birds."

_Crap._ Lucy thought, _I can't play Angry Birds to save my life. But I can't back down now._

Lucy stared him in the eye, "Let's play," She sighed, knowing exactly how this was going to go.

Fifteen minutes later, Lucy could only sigh as she failed miserably at the latest level.

Slightly irritated, Lucy frowned as Sting cried victoriously once again. They'd played through all the available levels of Angry Birds, and Sting had gotten three stars on every single one.

_How do you even do that? _Lucy thought, _I can't even get through the first five levels without failing..._

"I'm the winner, I'm the winner," Sting shouted, "Take that!"

A vein in her forehead bulged, and her eye twitched. _Does he even know how childish he's being?_

"Fine, you beat me," Lucy sighed, "But I can TOTALLY slay you at 2048."

"No you totally can't," Sting protested, swiping at his phone screen, stabbing at the app for 2048.

"Yes I can," Lucy shot back.

"You wanna bet?" Sting smirked.

Lucy drew back nervously, "Bet what?"

"Whoever loses has to do one thing that the winner tells them to," He answered, practically oozing confidence.

"Get ready to be my slave," Lucy told him, although the command came out more like a question then anything.

"Yeah, sure," Sting snorted, "Ladies first."

Sting passed her the black phone, and she went to work, sliding the colored tiles and colliding them. The small twos and fours combined to make eights, sixteens, and thirty twos. Her fingers moved rapidly, blocking out her surroundings and concentrating on the pros and cons of each move.

"You're really into this game..." Sting mused.

"Mmhmm," Lucy didn't look up, barely even registering his statement as she continued playing.

She combined her five hundred and twelve tiles, officially halfway to the goal. She formed a sixty four. The gray screen popped up, telling her she didn't have anymore moves. She frowned at the phone, but passed it to Sting, fully aware that it wasn't her best performance.

"Alright," Sting stared down at the phone, "You set a pretty high bar, but not high enough."

_He's really full of himself, _Lucy thought.

He began the game, glaring at the screen intensely, his gaze looking as if it would burn through the glass screen of the phone.

She watched in horrified awe as he combined two five-twelves, and then sped on to create a two-fifty-six and three thirty-twos, effectively beating her score before the gray screen popped up in front of him.

Her heart stopped when he smirked at her.

A mischievous light twinkled in his deep blue eyes, the bluish light from the phone making the shadows on his face dance.

"So..." He drawled, "What should I have you do...?"

Lucy squeaked fearfully.

He tapped his chin, "I've got it!"

She cringed in preparation of whatever he was about to say, shutting her eyes tightly. Her imagination whirred through all the possible terrible things he could ask her to do.

"Do a handstand!" he commanded.

Lucy's eyes flew wide open, staring at his grin in shock, "You want me to do a handstand?"

"Well, yeah," He replied, "That's what I just told you to do. What were you expecting?"

Lucy waved her hands in the air, "I don't know! I just didn't think that you would tell me to do a handstand!"

Sting shrugged, "I don't really care what you did or didn't think. Just do the handstand."

"Fine," Lucy grumbled.

Squinting in the semi-darkness, Lucy cleared a spot on the closet floor to put her hands and backed up to the edge of the closet.

She clenched her fists, and released. She bent over awkwardly and kicked up, her feet meeting the wall. Lucy used the small space of the closet to balance, bracing one of her heels on the door and grabbing a shelf with her toes. She felt herself sway back and forth, just inches from loosing her balance and toppling over.

"Crap," She muttered, blood rushing to her head.

Sting was in tears laughing, "Oh my god! You look hilarious! How did you even manage to do that?! This closet is tiny!"

"So that's why you wanted me to do a handstand!" Lucy accused, "You wanted me to humiliate myself!"

"Hell yeah!" Sting cackled, "And it worked! Got it all on video. Nice panties by the way. Black lace. Very classy."

Lucy felt her face turning red for a different reason now. Reflexively, one hand flew up to try and cover her very visible underwear, causing her to list to one side dangerously. Her legs flailed to regain her balance, but all she succeeded in doing was kicking several of the pots and pans off the shelf and onto the ground.

The pots and pans hit the ground with a cacophonous CLANG. One of the larger ones landed on Lucy's back, the handle crashing against her spine. She groaned.

One of her legs had caught on a shelf, bending at an uncomfortable angle due to the small area of the closet, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. The placement of the rest of her body was far more troubling to Lucy.

Sting stared up at her with one eyebrow quirked, his deep blue eyes radiating disbelief. The bottom half of his face was obscured by Lucy's ample cleavage.

Lucy shot up, untangling her leg from the shelf and rocketing to a sitting position. She crossed her arms over her breasts protectively. The blood rushed into her cheeks. There was no doubt she was as red as Erza's hair. She looked away from the blond beneath her, resolutely avoiding his eyes..

Sting levered himself onto his elbows, "You're still sitting on me, you know."

Lucy scrambled off his stomach. He sat up the rest of the way, wincing and rubbing the back of his head.

"You're really heavy..." He mumbled.

"Shut up!" Lucy yelled.

"And loud too," He added.

Lucy glared at him, and he smirked back, scooping up his phone. He broke their impromptu staring contest to check his phone for damage. Lucy retied the sash of her robe tighter around her and crossed her arms, frowning.

Sting looked up, "But seriously, I've been wondering. Why did you jump off your balcony to yell at me about how I can't cook? Couldn't you have knocked on my door?"

"I did!" Lucy defended herself, "I rang the buzzer and everything."

"I didn't hear it," Sting shrugged, "You sure it was my door?"

Lucy frowned, "I'm pretty sure. 4E, right?"

Sting stared at her for a second before he burst out laughing, crossing his arms over his stomach, "So it was you who was yelling at Hibiki about being a jerk! I thought you were one of his girlfriends! That's priceless."

"So you're not in 4E?" Lucy asked, "But you're right under me."

Sting wiped the tears from his eyes, cutting off his laughter, "Nah, the numbering system is different when you go down. Didn't you notice?"

"I usually stay on my floor of the building," Lucy admitted.

"That would explain why I've never seen you before," Sting said.

"I've never seen you before either," Lucy replied, "But I've heard you. Do you always have to throw parties here? I don't want to hear Bruno Mars playing at midnight."

"Orga chooses those songs!" Sting shot back defensively, "And if we're talking about noise complaints, then do I have news for YOU. Do you know how many times I have heard you screaming at people in the last week? Far too many!"

"It's not my fault," Lucy protested, "They keep breaking in to my apartment! You would scream if you found random naked people in your bedroom, too!"

Sting's defensiveness vanished, replaced by a startled expression, "What?"

Lucy sighed, pressing her palms to her forehead and looking down, "Gray has a... a problem. And then there's Juvia, who keeps popping up in my shower, and Cana sleeps on my couch when she's drunk, which is most of the time... Natsu is the worst though. I think he's actually moved some of his stuff into my apartment..."

Sting's eyebrow shot up, "And I thought my friends were weird."

Lucy looked up, "What are your friends like?"

"They're... uh..." Sting scratched the back of his head, "Well, Rogue is pretty normal, except he's pretty obsessed with his cat, Frosch. Like, dotes on him. It's kind of weird."

"I have a friend like that," Lucy mused, "Except Gajeel doesn't really dote. He brags. He's always talking about how Panther-Lily's a warrior and all that..."

"Yukino's really nice, and she's pretty smart, too," Sting continued, "Really soft-spoken though, and shy. It takes a lot to convince her that you actually want her around. Minerva is just scary," Sting shuddered.

_He looks like Natsu when he's talking about Erza,_ Lucy thought, but remained silent.

"She's crazy domineering, and the heels she wears are wicked sharp," He said, "Rufus is weird. He carries an empty book everywhere and pretends to read it, and he always says that 'he remembers'," Sting made air quotations, "But he's smart, and pretty cool. Orga... I don't even know what to say about Orga. He likes to sing?"

Lucy hid a giggle behind her hand, "Hopefully he's better than Gajeel at least."

"I highly doubt it," Sting admitted.

Lucy laughed again, "What about you? Do you sing?"

"Err..." Sting fidgeted, looking uncomfortable.

"I use my one question," Lucy declared.

Glaring, Sting reluctantly mumbled, "Yes, I do."

Lucy clapped her hands together gleefully, "Could you sing for me?"

"No," Sting snapped, glaring at Lucy, "I can't."

"It's not like I'm going to judge you," Lucy rolled her eyes, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder, "I jumped off of my balcony to yell at you. What right do I have."

"I'd really rather not," Sting growled.

"Come on," Lucy whined, "Please?~"

He paused, than quirked an eyebrow, turning to stare right into her eyes, "What about you, baby-doll? Do you sing?"

Color crept onto Lucy's cheeks. _Where did that come from?_ "I most definitely do not!"

"Oh really?" Sting teased, "I don't know... It sounds like you're lying..."

Lucy buried her face in her hands, "Okay, there was one time when Gajeel was insisting that he needed a back-up singer... and... I actually don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that I will never even consider dressing up as a rabbit for Halloween ever again."

"Oookay," Sting squinted at her, looking vaguely confused, "Sorry I asked."

Lucy didn't respond, her mind far away in a place filled with skimpy bunny costumes and other traumatizing memories.

"I want to wash my brain out with bleach," She moaned.

"Okay," Sting repeated, still confused, "That clears everything up."

"A bunny costume..." Lucy whimpered.

Sting patted her awkwardly on the back. She buried her face in her knees, wrapping her arms around her shins. She groaned pitifully.

"There, there? Are you alright?" Sting asked. Lucy didn't reply.

"Angel-face?" Sting tried again.

"Don't call me that," Lucy spat, her voiced muffled by her fluffy pink robe.

"Angel-face," Sting repeated, smirking.

Lucy looked up, slapping off the hand that was still resting on her shoulder, "Don't call me that."

"Angel-face, angel-face, angel-face," Sting laughed, sticking his tongue out like a child.

"Don't call me that!" Lucy hollered, pressing herself to Sting. Their faces were just inches apart. Sting's lips spread into an amused smirk.

The effect of their proximity hit Lucy like a sledgehammer, but she stood her ground, willing herself to ignore the fact that his shirtless abs were currently pressed against her stomach. Through sheer force of will she didn't pull away and continued to glare into his deep blue eyes.

"Sorry..." He trailed off, mischief painted over his features.

"Don't you dare," Lucy growled.

"Angel-face," Sting finished, his face breaking out into a grin.

Shrieking, Lucy pulled away, her hands fisted in her blonde hair, "You are infuriating!"

"Would you prefer if I called you baby-doll?" Sting asked, amusement playing over his features. He leaned forward, propping one knee up and resting his forearm on it.

Lucy looked up to the ceiling and groaned. She raised her arms to massage her temples, "How long until five?"

Still smirking, Sting picked his phone off the floor, "It's 2:16."

Lucy groaned, turning her head to glare at the wall. The closet fell silent, the stiff atmosphere was penetrated only by the sound of uncomfortable shuffling.

"Lucy?" Sting said.

The blonde woman didn't reply, continuing to glare at the wall.

"Lucy?" Sting tried again.

No response.

"Lucy, please talk to me~" He whined, "I'm really sorry..."

Turning, Lucy looked at him suspiciously, "Really?"

He nodded earnestly, "I call you angel-face again. I promise."

"Are you serious?" Lucy asked, "I feel like this is a set-up."

"I'm completely serious... Baby-doll," Sting grinned.

Unamused, Lucy turned back around, glaring at the wall once again. She crossed her arms over her chest, jutting out her lower lip. The closet fell silent once again, though she was uncomfortably aware of how close Sting was, even when he was pressed against the other wall of the closet.

Discreetly, she turned to look at her blond neighbor.

He was fiddling with his black phone, making swiping motions up and down the screen. Colorful light reflected onto his face. Lucy stretched, trying to see what was on the screen of the phone, but it was out of her line of sight.

Curious, Lucy scooted closer, trying to figure out what he was playing. She wormed her way to his side, leaning over his shoulder to see.

Lucy didn't recognize the game, but she gathered it was similar to Jewel Quest, the object of the game being to switch tiles in order to get three matching ones in a row. Sting didn't comment as she watched him play, just leaning a little bit against her side.

Lulled by the comfortable atmosphere, Lucy yawned. Sting chuckled quietly, and she could feel the vibrations through his side and into her stomach. She felt the toll that her early awakening had taken on her and yawned again, her eyes drooping ever so slightly.

She managed to stay awake through three more levels of the game before her eyes closed and didn't open again.

~Sting's POV~

I looked over my shoulder at Lucy's sleeping face.

She was cute when she was asleep. Her lower lip jutted out in a pout and she seemed to be trying to burrow into my side, grabbing at the air with weak wiggles of her fingers.

Smiling, I rested my head on top of hers where it laid on my shoulders. I continued playing on my phone, turning off the sound even though it didn't seem to bother her. Time flew, and before I knew it, I heard Rogue opening the door of my apartment, and a meow when Lector greeted him and Frosch.

I tapped my fist against the door of the closet, careful not to disturb Lucy.

I heard a grunt of confusion, most likely from the kitchen where Rogue would have seen the broken mirror and the waffles that brought Lucy down here in the first place. I suppressed a smirk at the thought and knocked harder. Lucy tossed in her sleep.

The door swung open and my fist met empty air. I looked up, seeing Rogue standing above me with an expression that was less than amused.

"Care to explain?" He asked, one eyebrow raised.

I grinned back at him, climbing to my feet and scooping Lucy off the floor. She squirmed closer to my chest. I pitched forward slightly, not prepared for her weight, even if she really wasn't that heavy.

I carried her to the couch, Rogue trailing after me with a bored and slightly irritated look on his face. I set Lucy down on the sofa, and she immediately curled in to a ball in the corner, her head resting on one of the armrests. I laughed, and Rogue rolled his eyes.

He trailed me to the kitchen where I began to work on the job Lucy started, wiping down the counters and cleaning up the waffle disaster. Rogue stood of to the side, his eyebrows raised. He was clearly waiting for an explanation.

I noticed that the chain of belts linking Lucy's apartment and mine were still hanging from her balcony. I turned to face Rogue.

"She was trying to teach me to cook," I told him.

"I suspect she gave up that endeavor quickly," Rogue remarked.

I press my hand to my chest in mock hurt, "That was a low blow. Anyway, she climbed down from her balcony-"

Rogue's eyebrows shot up, but he didn't say anything.

"With a chain of belts, told me that she was going to teach me to cook, burst into my kitchen, started cleaning, I broke a mirror, she went to look for the broom, I followed to help, and then we got locked in the closet," I explained.

"You mean the broom on the floor over there?" Rogue asked, his expression schooled back to it's normal nonchalance.

I stared at the broom on the floor.

"So that's where it was."

**A/N: I'm really proud of this. Like, this is the first one I've ever gotten above two thousand words. Hurray! Anyways, two other things.**

**If anyone here is interested in Trigun (Beautiful Anime): Go check out Everything is Data by One Percent, which is a really cool fic.**

**Also, if anyone is interested in the Yuri portion of the Fairy tail fandom, Scarlet Fairy Tales is also a really great read.**

**In other news, I'm accepting requests (as always) and constructive criticism is great. Bless.**


	25. Happens all the Time

Humming thoughtfully, Lucy looked over the missions posted on the request board. Her eyes settled on a promising looking paper. She lifted it off the board, bringing it closer to her face to study it.

"Natsu!" Lucy turned around, holding the flier up for him to see, "Look at this! It's a pretty easy job, and it pays really well! And guess what else? They're offering two silver keys as-"

"Nope," Natsu cut her off.

Lucy frowned, taken aback by the abrupt refusal, "No? But-"

"I agree with Natsu," Erza calmly stated, setting her fork full of strawberry cake down onto her plate, "That's a most foolish idea."

Gray nodded, resting his chin on his hand, "Erza's right."

Frowning, Lucy opened her mouth to ask how it could possibly be a bad idea.

"Stripper and Titania are right," Grumbled Gajeel around a mouth full of iron nails. Levy looked up from her book and nodded solemnly. Jet and Droy mimicked her.

"Oh dear..." Mirajane pressed her hand to her cheeks, "It's just not worth it."

The rest of the guild murmured in agreement.

"What are you guys talking about?" Lucy clutched the poster protectively to her stomach, "It's a great job! We'd just have to get rid of-"

Laxus cut her off this time, "Haven't you caught on yet?"

Pouting at the second interruption, Lucy crumpled the flier in one fist and crossed her arms, "Caught on to what?"

"There's a pattern to these things, cosplay queen," Bixlow said, his 'babies' parroting him, "Pattern, Pattern!"

"Pattern to what things?" Lucy frowned.

"Juvia knows that Love Rival is intelligent," Juvia materialized from behind the pillar she was using to watch Gray, "But Love Rival is also strangely oblivious?"

"Oblivious to what?" Lucy cried, frustrated how no one was giving her a straight answer.

"Being oblivious is not MAN!" Elfman cried.

"Shut up, you stupid oaf," Evergreen whacked him on the arm with her fan.

"Lucy," Lisanna turned to face her and spread her arms diplomatically, "We're just saying that you... well... you kind of attract trouble... and..."

"Well, we all attract trouble," Lucy protested, feeling everyone's eyes on her. She clutched the flier protectively to her chest once again, "We're Fairy Tail."

"Yeah, but you get kidnapped all the time," Happy mumbled around a mouth full of fish.

Everyone nodded, and Happy took that as a signal to continue, "If you go on this job, then you're probably going to get captured by people who want to summon Zeref by killing a Celestial mage..."

"Or trying to travel back in time... by sacrificing a Celestial mage..." Evergreen added.

"Or trying to collect all golden keys... by killing you and taking yours..." Freed trailed off.

"That's ridiculous!" Lucy protested, "What are you talking about?"

"The Zentopia incident," Gray huffed. His shirt disappeared, and Juvia fainted with hearts in her eyes. Gray looked down, yelped, and got up to find his missing shirt.

"The Grand Magic Games," Natsu added helpfully, sticking his foot out to trip Gray.

"And then there was the time that your spirits went all screwy," Bixlow piped up again.

"There was that elderly woman who continually tried to feed us pie," Erza mused, back to eating her strawberry cake happily. She swirled her fork around in the air, "That was strange."

"And then you get kidnapped for other things!" Happy smiled, "Like with that slave trader!"

"Lucy got kidnapped by a slave trader?" Jet asked Droy. Droy shrugged.

Cana put down her barrel of beer, "Or when your dad decided he wanted you to come home, and you got kidnapped twice!"

The guild began murmuring again, pointing out all the times that Lucy had been kidnapped for various reasons.

"I GET IT!" Lucy yelled. The noise in the guild cut off, and she pinned the flier back to the board, "Fine. I'll pick a different job."

"I knew you would make the right choice Lucy," Mirajane smiled pleasantly.

Lucy ended up picking a babysitting request. Of course, it didn't go quite as planned. After accidentally burning down the clients house, they were forced to walk home. On the road they were apprehended by a cult of Zeref who wanted to resurrect the dark lord by using all twelve golden keys.

It was, all-in-all, an unpleasant experience, but at least Lucy got a chance to talk to Yukino again.

**A/N: If you can't tell, I'm really, really pressed for ideas at the moment, so any request would be appreciated. Like, any. That aren't M. If you request, I swear, I will love you forever and ever and ever.**

**Also, Constructive criticism is a gift from the gods of literature.**


	26. Quick Thinking: LaLu

"What the hell are you doing?" Laxus demanded of the blonde wizard in the hallway, not entirely certain that he wanted to know. The Celestial spirit mage jumped three feet in the air, whipping around to face him.

"Shh!" Lucy hissed, "She'll hear!"

"Your hissing is louder than me talking," He retorted, but with another panicked glare from Lucy he rolled his eyes and shut up.

She bit her lip and peeked around the door frame and into the kitchen. Lucy stared for a second, than squeaked and pulled back, pressing herself against the wall. Laxus crossed his arms and sighed.

"Alright," Lucy whispered to herself, still comically pressed against the wall, "Here's the plan-"

Laxus raised his eyebrow, "What are you even doing?"

"Don't talk so loud!" Lucy whisper shouted, "I'm going to take one of the containers of cookies."

"Are you suicidal?" Laxus asked, the other eyebrow climbing its way up to his hair-line.

"No..." Lucy mumbled.

"Then why the hell are you doing this?" Laxus asked.

Lucy fiddled sheepishly with the hem of her skirt, "Well..."

"Yeah?" Laxus tapped his foot impatiently.

"Well I kicked Natsu out of my house this morning and he hit his head on the sidewalk after I pushed him out the window, so I promised him some of Mira's cookies to make up for it, but when I asked Mira for some cookies, she said that she was saving them for the meeting with Lamia Scale, but I promised Natsu, so I have to get the cookies," She explained, gesturing wildly.

"Why can't you just make Natsu cookies yourself?" Laxus suggested, "Or not get him anything at all. He deserved that."

Lucy stared at him like he'd stabbed her mother, "I can't do that! I PROMISED him Mira's cookies!"

"So what?" Laxus crossed his arms.

"I PROMISED," She stressed, "A celestial spirit mage never breaks her promises!"

Laxus rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

Lucy turned around to face the inside of the kitchen once again. She stood silently and shock still, almost radiating impatience. She jumped a little.

"Yes..." She hissed.

Laxus raised his eyebrow at the anticipatory air around her. Lucy crept around the door-frame, hunching over and whipping her head side to side and ducked into the kitchen. She hit the tile floor of the guild's kitchen and somersaulted over to the counter where the container's of cookies were stashed. She snatched one of the top of the stack and somersaulted back out, the cookie container clutched close to her body.

"The operation was a success," Lucy whispered, "Quickly-"

Mira's voice floated out of the kitchen, "Where did those cookies go?"

"Crap!" Lucy hissed.

"Is there someone in the hallway?" Mira's voice took on a dangerous tone.

Wide-eyed, Lucy looked at Laxus. The panic was clear on her face, and she clutched the cookies to her stomach like a life line. Laxus felt a surge of pity and fear. Mira was someone not to be trifled with, and Lucy's offense would not be easily forgotten.

More likely than not, Laxus would be collateral.

The click of Mira's heels as she came closer held them paralyzed. Lucy and Laxus shared a look of panic as the steps became louder and louder, clacking menacingly against the floor. Laxus caught the first glimpse of Mira's silver hair as she rounded the corner.

He made his decision in a split second.

Acting quickly, Laxus pulled Lucy against him, the cookie container sandwiched in between their stomachs. Lucy looked up at him, eyes wide with confusion. He whirled around, pinning her between him and the wall. He ducked down and pressed his lips to hers.

She gasped against his mouth, and he pressed a bit harder against her lips. Her hands traveled up to rest on his chest, folded close in between their bodies. Lucy returned the pressure of the kiss, standing on her tip-toes to reach him better.

Laxus heard a thud as a body, presumably Mira's, hit the floor.

Breathless and reluctant, he pulled away, freeing Lucy from the embrace. The container of cookies clattered to the floor. Lucy pressed her fingers to her lips, looking up at him with a blush on her face.

"That was my first kiss," She gasped, doe-eyed.

Laxus fought down both the smile and the blush that attempted to rise.

"You can thank me later," He turned around, letting the smile onto his face, "Enjoy your cookies."

He walked down the hallway, leaving Lucy breathless and Mira passed out from shock on the floor.

**A/N: So this was in honor of LaLu week, which I missed TT^TT, but oh well. We've got our first real kiss in this story! Whoo!**

** (I feel like crying because of the manga right now. I made this to cheer myself up, partially, tbh)**

** Anyways, requests are welcome (needed, actually, please help), and constructive criticism is great. Don't worry, you're not hurting my feelings.**


	27. Mira, Mira: Drabble

"Mira, Mira on the wall," The figure draped in black chanted, raising it's arms to the ceiling, "Who's the fairest of them all?!"

In a swirl of mist, the surface of the mirror mounted on the wall rippled. The face of a silver haired woman appeared, rolling her eyes.

"Honestly, Evergreen," She sighed, "You look fine. Do we really have to go through this every day?"

**A/N: It's been a while since I did a short one, and this popped into my head, so... yeah. Requests open, criticism welcome, the usual. Bye, folks.**


	28. Solution

"MIRA!" Lucy whisper shouted.

The silver-haired bar maid turned to look at the woman sitting at the far end of the counter, crouching down on one of the bar stools.

"Lucy?" Mira asked, approaching the heavily shrouded figure. She was dressed in a way reminiscent of Mystogan, a hood pulled over her hair, bandanna covering her mouth, nothing showing but the skin around her eyes. If Mira hadn't heard the Celestial Mage's voice issued from the figure on the barstool, Mira would have thought it was Jellal come for a visit.

Lucy whipped her head from side to side, "Shh, Mira!" She hissed, "Not so loud!"

Mira lowered her voice conspiratorially, "What's wrong Lucy?"

"I've got a huge problem!" Lucy whisper shouted. She raised her hands to untie the bandanna from around her mouth, "I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and I saw the most horrific thing!"

Feeling a spike of worry, Mira pressed a hand to her cheek and leaned in closer. Lucy pulled the bandanna away from her face slowly, revealing...

A pimple.

Mira almost felt like laughing at the drama, "It's just a zit, Lucy."

"Just a zit, Mira?" Lucy cried, "My image is ruined! I'm no longer beautiful, and I'll never be married! I'll have to go live in a hut in the middle of the woods and never talk to anyone ever again!"

(Porlyuscia felt an over-whelming surge of irritation. "Makarov's stupid brats...")

"Now, now Lucy," Mira smiled, "Don't you think you're being a little over dramatic? Everyone gets acne sometimes. It'll go away soon."

Lucy looked scandalized.

"Fine," Mira sighed, slightly exasperated. _I may as well have __some fun with this, _"I have something that can help."

"Really?" Lucy's eyes lit up, such a happy and innocent look gracing her face that Mirajane almost felt bad for what she was about to do. Almost.

"Yup!" Mira nodded, fishing for the small vial under the counter, "There are just a few side effects..."

"Like what?" Lucy asked, turning to look at Mirajane hopefully.

Mira waved her hand, placing the pink glass vial on the counter, "Oh, nothing much... This will get rid of the zit instantly! It's totally worth the side effects. You just dab some on, drink the rest, and bam! Everything's okay."

Lucy hesitantly lifted the potion, weighing it in her hand, "Really?"

Mira nodded, fighting back an evil smirk.

Still fearful, Lucy poured a drop of the potion onto her finger and dabbed it onto the zit on her chin. She looked to Mira for reassurance.

Mira nodded.

Lucy downed the rest of the potion in one gulp and set the potion back onto the bar, raising her fingers to probe at her chin, "Wow! It's gone!"

Mira nodded again, letting her anticipatory smile onto her face, "The side-effects should be kicking in any minute now..."

"Oh yeah!" Lucy remarked, "You didn't tell me what those were."

"You'll see," Mira giggled, "They're nothing serious."

Lucy felt a chin drop onto her shoulder, arms wrapping around her waist from behind. She half turned in her seat, a vibrant blush rising on her face, to see a smudge of pink and a familiar face.

"Natsu?" Lucy squawked, "What are you doing?!"

"Oh my," Mirajane giggled, hiding smile behind her hand, "It appears the side effects are kicking in."

"You smell really nice, Lucy," Natsu mumbled, pressing his face into Lucy's shoulder, "And you're really soft, too."

"Are you calling me fat?" Lucy screeched indignantly. She tried to jump off the stool, instead ending up dragging her and her partner to the floor.

Natsu fell ontop of her, pinning her to the floor. He looked deep into her eyes. She was mesmerized by the intensity of his stare.

"Lucy, I-" Natsu breathed.

His weight was suddenly ripped away, and the fire dragon-slayer was launched halfway across the guild. Lucy's raven-haired team-mate stood above her. Gray stretched out his hand, helping Lucy to her feet.

"Thanks Gray," Lucy brushed off her skirt, smiling at the chronic stripper, "Natsu got really weird all of a-"

Gray pulled Lucy to his chest, wrapping an arm around her possessively, "Lucy is mine, flame-brain! Back off!"

"Love-rival has won!" Juvia wailed from the corner.

"Like hell she is!" Natsu growled, igniting his fist, "She was my partner first!"

"Bunny-girl doesn't belong to either of you!" Gajeel roared, knocking Gray away from Lucy with an iron-dragon's club.

Lucy stumbled, "Thank you, Gajeel! At least someone is reasonable-"

Gajeel leaped forward and threw her over his shoulder, looping an arm around the back of her legs and raising his other fist aggressively, "Bunny's mine! And if anyone things otherwise, they can take it up with my fists!"

Lucy desperately tried to keep her skirt from riding up in her awkward position, "Not you too!"

Golden light flashed, and Loke materialized, taking Gajeel off guard by his sudden appearance. He swung a right hook into the dragon-slayer's face, scooping Lucy off Gajeel's shoulder. He set her on her feet and dropped into an elegant bow.

"I'm here to save you from these classless ruffians, my princess," Loke smirked, taking Lucy's hand and kissing it.

"Thank God you're normal, Loke," Lucy ducked behind his back, "Quickly, we need to get out of here!"

Loke spiraled away, a fist hitting him in the side. Lucy tracked his flying form across the hall, seeing him crash into a thick pillar. She winced sympathetically, pulling his key off her belt and recalling him to the Celestial Spirit world.

"He's not taking you anywhere."

Lucy whipped around, finding herself face to face with Laxus towering over her. Lighting crackled around his form. He glared at the crowd of Fairy Tail, arms crossed.

Until he was taken out by a flying kick to the head.

Erza landed gracefully in a crouch, her scarlet hair billowing out behind her. Lucy finally took notice of the desolation in the guild hall. Every member of Fairy Tail was laying prone on the ground. Natsu, Gray, and Gajeel looked especially worse for wear, blood gushing from various cuts on their bodies. Erza sheathed her swords.

"Fools!" She called, lifting Lucy into the air, "None of you shall besmirch this fair maiden's virtue! I have won the contest for Lucy!"

Mirajane giggled from her place behind the bar. The fight had been expected as soon as she gave Lucy a potion that attracted every male within a mile's radius.

She should have expected the winner of that particular contest.

**A/N: Guardian of Heaven requested a Lucy Harem fic, so I did my best. I made it less serious than was probably intended, but oh well. Anyway, still accepting requests, and constructive criticism is welcome, as always.**


	29. Get Together

Natsu rolled over, feeling a familiar fluffy material pressed against his face. He got up, figuring that Lucy must have kicked him out of her bed again, to find the room completely dark.

There was no light in the space, not even from the large window or the desk lamp. He turned to the desk, expecting Lucy to have fallen asleep on the wooden surface while writing again, but he found he couldn't even see that. He moved forward, reaching out for the wooden material.

His foot connected with something soft and warm. Was someone sleeping on the floor? No one ever does that.

(Other than him. He's always sleeping on the floor, thanks to Lucy.)

He nudged the body with his foot again, wondering if it was Gray and he could get away with kicking him.

Natsu made to nudge the person again, but a hand closed around his ankle. It was too big and too calloused to be Gray's hand, and the fingers were too thick to be Erza's.

"Put your God-damned foot in my side one more time, you bastard, and I swear to God that I will rip it off and feed it to an anaconda, Racer," The voice coming from the body he'd been kicking was distantly familiar, and the sound of it made him want to hit something.

Natsu knew who it was now.

"Snake-guy!" Natsu exclaimed, "What are you doing in Lucy's apartment?"

"What the hell?" Cobra shot to a sitting position. He hadn't let go of Natsu's ankle, and the fire dragon-slayer was dragged to the floor, "Who the hell is Lucy? Where the hell am I?"

Natsu squinted at the place he thought Cobra was, "Lucy? Blonde, big boobs? Yells a lot? She's nice, though."

"You brought me here, didn't you?" Cobra growled, "You Fairy bastards just can't leave people in peace-"

The fire dragon-slayer swung a right hook at where Cobra's voice was coming from, "Why would I bring you here?! I don't want your stupid face anywhere near me!"

His fist connected with a satisfying jerk. By the bones under his knuckles, Natsu guessed he'd landed a solid hit to Cobra's jaw line. The poison dragon-slayer growled like a wild animal and retaliated. He kicked Natsu's stomach with perfect aim, his advanced hearing helping him to permeate the inky darkness.

Natsu tried to tackle him, but overshot, flying over Cobra and into the wall. There was a loud rattle as a bunch of picture frames fell around him. He jumped to his feet and started forward.

His foot caught on something and he went down hard, slamming his jaw into Lucy's hardwood floor. He'd missed the carpet by about a foot, he could feel it on his outstretched hand.

Under his foot, whatever he'd tripped on started moving. It sat up.

"Rogue?"

Natsu recognize this voice too. It was the blonde dragon-slayer from Sabertooth.

"Why are so many people in Lucy's apartment?" Natsu mused, his jaw still pressed against the floor, "Did she invite you all over?"

"We're in that chick's apartment?" Sting exclaimed, "The one Minerva beat up?"

Cobra growled somewhere in the darkness, "I still don't know who that is!"

"I just told you, moron," Natsu yelled, "Tell me where you are, so I can kick your ass!"

The room lit up with a soft white glow. Natsu whipped his head around, trying to discover the source of the light.

"No god-damn way," Cobra barked, "Blondie glows?"

Natsu finally turned all the way around to find that Sting was indeed glowing. Natsu clapped his hand over his mouth, pointing at the white dragon-slayer.

"You're a living night-light," Natsu snickered.

Sting jumped to his feet, "Shut the hell up!"

Natsu burst into full out laughter, dropping to the floor. He rolled around, clutching his stomach, "You glow in the dark!"

"It is fairly amusing."

The three mages jumped in unison, pinwheeling towards the sound of the voice. Rogue sat in Lucy's largest arm chair she kept in the corner of the room. A worn stack of papers Natsu recognized as Lucy's manuscript laid on his lap.

"Not as amusing as this though," Rogue continued flippantly, "Did you know that Iris is actually-"

"Gihi. Bunny-girl's going to kill you for that," Gajeel snickered.

Everyone, excluding Gajeel, jumped. They spun around to find Gajeel sitting at Lucy's table, biting the tines off a fork. Laxus sat across from him, eyes closed and feet planted on the table, listening to his sound pod. A scattering of mutilated silverware surrounded the chair Gajeel sat in.

"Like who-ever this chick is isn't going to kill you for that," Cobra gestured to the silverware from his place on the floor.

"Who's he?" Gajeel asked, his voice muffled by metal.

"I was actually wondering the same thing," Sting confessed, "I just kind of assumed he was another weirdo from Fairy Tail."

Natsu frowned, "The only weirdo in Fairy Tail is Lucy. Maybe Gray."

"What the hell are you talking about," Laxus cut in, not even opening his eyes, "Heartfilia is the only normal one in Fairy Tail."

"You just admitted you are abnormal," Rogue mused.

Laxus huffed, "Never said I wasn't. Just so you know, Iron-bastard's right. Heartfilia is going to rip you apart for touching that."

"She's a five two blonde," Sting raised his eyebrow, "How much damage can she really do?"

Natsu whipped his head around to stare at the blond dragon-slayer. His jaw dropped.

"Hell, she's no Titania," Gajeel said, "But that bunny's got rabies."

Laxus stared at Sting disbelievingly, "You've apparently never been on the receiving end of one of her kicks."

"You can join the club with Mira, Erza, Levy and Wendy," Natsu suggested.

Gajeel paused in eating one of Lucy's soup spoons, "I thought that list was longer. I don't remember Rain Woman getting the treatment. Or the drunkard."

"Juvia popped out of Lucy's shower," Natsu frowned, a pensive look over taking his face, "Lucy thought it was me. Lucy was aiming for Gray when she hit Cana."

"Oh yeah," Laxus shrugged, "I remember that one."

Cobra, Sting, and Rogue stared at the Fairy Tail dragon-slayers.

"You consider that normal?" They chorused.

"You got a problem with our guild?" Gajeel squinted at the trio, rising from his chair an crossing his arms.

Cobra rose to the bait, "Yeah, I got a problem with your guild. You're a bunch of lunatics, and for all I know you god-damned kidnapped me to bring me here."

"Don't you think we've got better things to do?" Gajeel growled.

Natsu was the first to throw a punch, "I already told you. No one here wants to see your stupid face!"

Cobra dodged to the right, and Natsu flew past him, his fist sinking into the plaster by the fallen bookshelf. His heel cracked the glass of one of the fallen picture frames.

Gajeel sent an iron dragon's club towards Cobra's legs when he dodged. The convict jumped to the left, knocking into Rogue and toppling the chair. Pages of Lucy's unfinished novel flew across the room.

The chair fell with a loud crash. Sting jumped into the fight, ducking under Cobra's arm to aim a hit at Natsu. Rogue was pinned under the arm chair.

The crash covered up the sound of the door opening. The lights flickered on. All six dragon-slayers froze in place. One of Natsu's legs was in the air, inches from Cobra's stomach. Sting had missed Natsu and hit Gajeel instead.

Lucy shrieked, seeing her home in shambles. She dropped her bags of groceries onto the floor, fisting her hands in her hair. Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Bookshelf," Her breathing sped up worryingly, "Picture frames. Arm chair. Convict! MY BOOK! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE?!"

Her eyes narrowed in on one thing in particular.

"Wendy!"

The smallest of the dragon-slayers was still napping on the couch. She was lying peacefully on her side, her mouth slightly open. She was curled up in fetal position, with her hands clasped under her head.

Lucy rushed to the couch, scooping the small girl into her arms. She dropped her voice to a dangerous whisper, glaring at them one at a time.

"I am going to get Wendy to Fairy Hills," She hissed, "By the time I get back, my apartment better be cleaned up, my book and order, and that guy-" She jerked her head at Cobra, "Put back wherever he came from. Or else."

She turned to walk out the door, Wendy still held securely in her arms, "And get Rogue out from under my arm chair."

She flounced through the apartment door and slammed it behind her.

"So that was Lucy," Cobra said, "She's rude."

**A/N: ****How did the dragon slayers get into Lucy's apartment? Why is Cobra there? Are the dragon slayers actually going to clean up? Probably not! ****This one was also a request from Guardian of Heaven. It was pretty fun to pull Cobra in here. I'm gonna have to do that more often. My apologies for it being so late, though!**


	30. Undercover

"Excited?" Jackal smirked, "You keep bouncing up and down."

Lucy stopped rocking on the balls of her feet and concentrated on standing still. She tightened her grip on the wolfish-looking blond's elbow, "I'm not bouncing. I'm just... kind of nervous."

"Nervous?" Jackal scoffed, "Princess, we're part of the world's most dangerous syndicate. Nervousness is weakness, and weakness doesn't belong."

It was a testament to how far she'd infiltrated this organization, Lucy reflected, that he didn't tear her apart for her perceived 'weakness.'

Her grip constricted farther on his tuxedo covered arm. She was nervous, extremely nervous. She'd see everyone at the banquet, and the disguise she wore may not be enough. She reached up with one gloved hand to pull at a curl of dark brown hair.

"Don't fiddle, Michelle," Marde Geer's impassive voice crackled through the microphone hidden in her diamond earring, "You look lovely, and you wouldn't want to ruin that."

"Besides," Jackal grinned, looking just like his namesake, feral and dangerous, "It's an easy job. You're just on recon. I'll handle the heavy stuff."

Lucy fought down a shudder at the remembered nature of her job. They were to be in a hall full of the most skilled government operatives in the entire kingdom of Fiore. Her task simply to slip into the archives, and grab the F.A.C.E. drive. Jackal was accompanying her on the off chance that someone was too curious and followed Lucy into the archives. He was to dispose of them.

Clenching and unclenching her fists, Lucy glanced at Jackal's face, and back to the floor. She remembered the first time she saw him in person. Holding a live grenade in one hand, and a hostage in the other, Lucy never imagined she'd ever willingly be this close to him.

"I'm ready to go," Lucy inhaled deeply, then forced the air out of her lungs.

"Finally," Jackal snarled, but it didn't hold any maliciousness.

The pair strode towards the entrance of the reception hall. Lucy's knee length short dress danced around her legs in the breeze, brushing against Jackal's tuxedo pants. The cold hit Lucy's bare arms and she shivered, having made the mistake of not wearing a coat. Her dress was over one shoulder, draping down from a fitted waist, no means appropriate for the mid-fall weather.

"I could keep you warm if you took that off," Jackal remarked casually.

Heat rushed to Lucy's cheeks, "Jackal!"

He shrugged, "Kyouka didn't put enough blush on you."

Lucy hid her face in the hand that wasn't holding Jackal's elbow. She stopped momentarily in the path, but Jackal tugged her on, nearly pitching her forward due to her tall stiletto heels.

"Don't got all day, princess," Jackal growled, moving towards the entrance.

The butler standing at the door nodded at them respectfully and admitted them into the entrance hall. Another man waited inside to take coats, but faltered when he saw that neither of the pair had any coverage. Lucy took pity on the befuddled man and handed him her purse to take away.

"Where are you going to put the flash drive?" Jackal asked, his voice low in irritation. He still looked at her as a ditz sometimes.

Lucy sighed, "You shouldn't mention it in the open. And my purse is too obvious. I know where I'm going to put it."

Jackal raised an eyebrow and looked down at her cleavage.

Lucy snatched her hand away from his elbow and crossed her arms over her chest, "Not there. Why do you take every excuse you get to stare at my boobs?"

Jackal opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted when the door to the banquet hall opened. Marde was waiting for them by the door, and smoothly took Lucy's hand as she entered.

"I see the wind didn't muss your hair too much," Marde remarked coolly, delivering a backhanded compliment typical of him. Before Lucy could respond, he continued, "And Jackal, you're as... uncouth... as you've ever been."

"Whatever, boss," Jackal snarked.

Lucy laughed, shifting her hand to Marde's elbow. She discretely surveyed the room. There were a wealth of men in similar tuxedos to Jackal and Marde Geer clustered through out the room. Lucy caught glimpses of other women in jewel toned dresses like hers, but no one familiar.

Feeling relief, Lucy looked over at the banquet table. It was an impressive array, with tall stacked platters and dishes that Lucy hadn't seen since she ran away from home.

And behind the table were two familiar faces.

Lucy stifled a gasp. She recognized Natsu's pink hair and scarf. He wore his usual formal wear, a black vest over a white button down, left over black tuxedo pants. Looking content, he was stuffing his face with the expensive dishes.

Gray walked up behind him, whacking the back of his head and knocking his head into the pile of food on his plate. He muttered something to Natsu that Lucy couldn't hear from across the room, and Natsu glared at his raven haired team mate and snapped something back. Gray loosened his bow tie and flung it behind him in agitation. He'd already lost his tuxedo jacket.

"You look faint, Michelle," Marde murmured in her ear.

It took Lucy a minute to recognize the cover name, even though she'd been using it so long. She fingered a died brown curl, "I'm alright. Let's get this over with."

"Show a little enthusiasm, Princess!" Her other consort cackled, "This op could make or break us."

"Indeed it could..." Marde Geer reflected. He turned to Lucy, the thoughts behind his coal black eyes inscrutable, "May I have this dance?'

"Of course," Lucy replied politely, allowing herself to be swept into the swell of dinner guests, "I'd be honored."

"And I am delighted," There was only the barest hint of any inflection in Lucy's current boss's voice, "Jackal, you know what to do. I'll signal you when Michelle has entered the archive."

Marde Geer was a man as graceful as he was deadly. He pulled her easily into the swirl of dancing guests, easily keeping pace and directing them across the room. For the shortest second, Lucy allowed herself to imagine that this was a simple dance, just her and her partner, with no ulterior motive. She felt herself swept along the current of the waltz, Marde's hand on her waist and cupping her fingers in his.

"We've arrived," Marde murmured, releasing her hand.

Lucy sighed, keenly feeling the sudden absence of contact, "Alright. I'll be back in ten minutes."

"The transmitter in your earring is blocked in the archives, so if you're not back, I will not hesitate to send Jackal in," With that ultimatum over her head, Marde Geer turned and vanished into the crowd, leaving Lucy alone at the doors that led to the archive.

Lucy shivered and wrapped her arms around her torso. She scanned over the crowd, one more time. Her gaze skipped over the heads of the guests, from an old woman, to a middle aged security guard, to a young man flirting with another guest, one to another, until her eyes reached the banquet table again and stopped.

Natsu still stuffed his face, looking more morose that the last she'd seen him. Gray rested his face on one hand, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

As if compelled by some strange cosmic force, Gray snapped his eyes away from the ceiling and towards the doors. His eyes met Lucy's across the room.

His eyes went wide. He stood up, both palms slamming flat on the table top. Natsu stopped eating, alarmed, and looked up at Gray. Gray waved him off, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on Lucy's. He excused himself from the table.

Lucy's heartbeat went erratic. She backed up to the door, watching Gray disappear into the dancing crowd, most likely coming for her. She moved backwards along the door, hyperventilating, groping for the knob. She kept her eyes on the crowd, watching for a head of spiky black hair and the absence of a tuxedo jacket.

Her hand closed on the elaborate door knob. She twisted it quickly. The door opened a crack and she slipped in quietly, pulling the door closed behind her, breathing heavily.

The door clicked shut behind her. She leaned against it, clenching her hands into fists.

She'd been prepared for this, seeing her guild-mates after so long. She wasn't prepared for them to see her.

Lucy choked back the sob she felt building in the back of her throat. She levered herself off the door, staggering a little on her stiletto heels. She walked forward, inhaling deeply.

The click of her heels against the hardwood tiles followed her down the corridor as she approached the plain service door that led to the archives. She pulled a bobby pin out of her hair, swiftly picking the lock. It disengaged with a click, and she started on the digital lock in the hidden keypad next to the door.

She made quick work of it. The lock on the door released with a beep. She turned the plain steel knob and slipped into the archives.

Intent on finishing her job in the time she had left, Lucy started towards the first shelf in the room.

"We thought you were dead."

Lucy whipped around, nearly falling over because of her four inch heels.

Gray sat at one of the library tables. His dress shirt had come untucked, the buttons in the process of becoming undone. As Lucy watched, he undid the second down. Lucy fought back the urge to laugh hysterically.

"I'm... I'm..." Lucy floundered for words. Sorry? That wasn't enough, after what she'd put them through. Alive? He could see that. What was she?

Gray stood up, looking down at the floor. His hands pressed against the table. They were curled into tight fists.

"I didn't know what to do, Lucy. Natsu went ballistic, and he didn't stop looking for you until a month ago... and... and Wendy..." He looked up. Tears built up in his black eyes, "WHERE WERE YOU?!"

Trembling, Lucy let out the sob that had been building in her throat, "I... I just..." Her voice broke, "Gray... you can't tell... you can't... I'm..."

She stepped forward, almost unconsciously. She stumbled forward, closer to her old team-mate. He was stone still, watching her approach warily. Lucy felt her heart cracking, keenly feeling the absence of the easy friendship they used share.

She stopped, three feet in front of him before she fell forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him. His hands patted her back hesitantly. Her tears started, and she cried into his shirt, pressing her nose into it and hiccuping softly. Something dripped onto the top of her head, and she knew he was crying too.

It was like a damn burst inside her. She launched into her story, careless of the ten minutes she'd been given.

"It was after Michelle d-died... after the funeral, Master came to me with an offer... He-he needed someone to... to do a special job. He needed a sleeper agent, be-because the council... the council heard that T-Tartarus was going to do something, and they d-didn't know what. Master..."

Lucy hiccuped, her voice muffled through Gray's shirt.

His hesitancy had died away, and he rubbed her back comfortingly, "He asked you."

Lucy nodded against his chest. She breathed in Gray's familiar smell of melted snow. She realized just how much she'd missed her friend as she relaxed in his comforting embrace.

"Why you, though?" Gray asked, his voice breaking.

Lucy pulled away, wiping her eyes on her arm. Streaks of black make-up came away on her skin, "I needed to get back on my feet... he going to ask Gajeel, but he was already doing something, and this was full time... anyone else would be too well known, or they didn't have the right connections."

"I can't tell anyone then..." Gray sighed. His face was etched with misery.

Fighting back another wave of tears, Lucy shook her head, "No... you can't..."

Lucy glanced down at her watch, and had to fight back a wave of panic. Six of her ten minutes had passed, and she hadn't so much as started looking.

"I have to start!" Lucy yelped, startling Gray.

"Start what?!" He reared back in confusion.

Lucy ran off into the first stack, stumbling, "Looking!"

"For what?!" Gray exclaimed.

"It's a flash drive! It's..." Lucy floundered for words, "Very important! And I don't want you to get blown up!"

"I'm going to ignore the last bit about me getting blown up..." Gray muttered. He began rummaging in his pockets. Lucy watched him, confused over what he was doing, "But I know that... It's in here... somewhere..."

Triumphantly, he pulled something from his pocket, encased in a closed fist. He uncurled his fingers, "Here."

The object in his hand was a plain silver flash drive, engraved with the letters F.A.C.E. Lucy blanched, seeing the small object resting in his palm.

"Gray?" Lucy asked.

"I can't explain why I have it," Gray admitted. He stepped forward, shoving the flash drive into her palm. His voice broke, "Take it, and do what you need to do."

Lucy's eyes filled with tears, and she wrapped her friend in a tight hug once again. Gray returned it immediately this time, squeezing her tightly.

"I'm going to miss you," She muttered into his shirt.

His response was to tighten his arms around her momentarily, before letting her go and wrapping his hands around her biceps. She tightened her fist around the flash drive.

"Come back to us," Gray released her from his grip.

She turned around and walked out the door, trying to stop the heavy flow of tears from her eyes. She walked quickly down the corridor, back to the double doors that led to the banquet hall.

Lucy teetered to a stop and bent down. She slid open the panel on the heel of her shoe. She pushed the flash drive in to the hidden compartment in the deceptively thick sole of her stiletto pump.

Straightening up, she slipped back into the banquet hall as quickly and quietly as she'd slipped in.

She closed the door behind her and turned to face the crowd. She took a step forward, crashing into another person's solid chest. Lucy fell backwards, stumbling.

Hands caught her, encircling her upper arms and hauling her to her feet with a grip of iron. Jackal pulled her slightly towards him as she got back on her feet.

"We were just about to..." Jackal looked down at her face, "What the hell happened to you, princess?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Lucy sniffed. She could care less about 'weakness' right now, "I just want to go back."

Jackal put his arm around her shoulders, sweeping her to the edge of the floor to skirt around the dancers on the floor, "Come on. I'll take you to the car."

"Michelle?" Marde Geer's voice crackled in her ear.

Jackal prickled, standing up straight. Lucy followed his line of sight. Their boss's figure cut smoothly across the crowd, quickly approaching them. Jackal moved on, pulling Lucy to the door.

"He'll catch up to us," Jackal growled at her unspoken question.

Lucy sniffed and nodded, moving forward with her arms wrapped around herself. Jackal pulled her closer to his body, shielding her from the sight of any curious guests. She leaned into his side, hot tears still dripping steadily from the corners of her eyes.

They slipped through the double doors and out of the banquet hall. The noise cut off as the doors slammed shut.

The steward stepped forward to meet them, "Sir, Miss, would you please-"

Jackal snarled at the man, "No, we would not."

Lucy laid her hand on Jackal's chest. He backed down, "It's fine. What do you need to do?"

The man, who looked startled at Jackal's outburst, quickly recovered his composure, "Um, yes... Due to the important materials kept here, you must consent to a search to be allowed to leave. Please step out of your shoes, and place any metal pieces on you into this dish here."

He held out a shallow bowl, and Lucy unfastened her earrings and dropped them in, along with the bangles encircling her wrists, and her hair pins, allowing her died hair to be free of it's confines. Jackal reluctantly did the same, stepping out of his shoes at the end.

A burly security guard came forward with a metal detector wand and scanned them both quickly, aware of Jackal's growing impatience. He waved them on, coming up with nothing.

Lucy nodded a farewell politely. Her tears had stopped, leaving a tight, salty feeling on her skin. She recognized what her face must look like, mascara bleeding to her jaw, eyeshadow smudged, and her lipstick half rubbed off.

A pounding headache had taken up residence behind her forehead. She managed a gurgled laugh at nothing in particular.

Another butler escorted them out. He shut the door behind them.

Jackal looped his arm around her shoulders again. She balled her fist in the fabric of his tuxedo jacket. She registered the glow of streetlights through her half closed eyelids. Their yellow-orange glow cut through the darkness of the starless sky.

Her heels clicked across the pavement as Jackal led her to their waiting car. The driver still sat impassively behind the tinted window.

Jackal opened her door before, taking his arm off her shoulder, and she stumbled into the warm interior of the car. She hadn't realized how cold it had been outside until she back in the borderline hot leather backseat.

The car door opened once again, and Marde Geer dropped elegantly into the backseat beside her. He peeled of his well-fitted suit jacket and dropped it around her shoulders. He closed the car door behind him.

Jackal dropped in on the other side, before slamming the door shut behind him.

Lucy leaned against his side, and Marde Geer took her hand.

"I got the flash drive," She murmured, before either one could ask. Her eyes felt heavy, and all she wanted to do was drop off to sleep. Fighting her mental and emotional exhaustion, she pulled her leg onto the seat and retrieved the flash drive from it's compartment. She handed it to her boss.

"Well done," Marde Geer said.

"Pretty good for your first real mission," Jackal remarked grudgingly, nudging her with his shoulder. Lucy smiled, to tired to do anything but nod.

Her consciousness fuzzed, and she dropped of to sleep, a comforting presence behind her back, and a relaxing grip holding her hand.

"I forgot my purse," Was the last thing that she said.

**A/N: Wow. That was long. There was a request by a guest (That rhymed) for a Marde Geer x Lucy x Jackal fic, and I didn't really know where to go for that one. I felt that it needed a lot of build up, you know? So this is what happened, I guess. Hope you liked it. I through in some Gray/Lucy brotp. Constructive criticism and reviews are welcome! Hasta la Pasta.**


	31. Air Horn

_**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK**_

Cana dropped her cards, scattering them over the table and floor. A miniature Lucy calling card landed face side up on the floor and started waving its arms and squeaking.

"You don't even know how to take care of a kid, you son of a-"

_**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK**_

"Oh yeah!? You're one to talk, iron-"

_**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK**_

Cana slapped her palm to her forehead, looking over to the corner. Asuka smiled innocently, grasping the air horn in her small hand and bouncing up and down. Neither Natsu, nor Gajeel were paying any attention to the smallest Connell.

As Cana watched, Natsu and Gajeel opened their mouths to fling another volley of insults towards one another.

"Flame-"

_**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK**_

"Shut your face, metal-"

_**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK**_

Cana grabbed her bottle of whiskey, taking a long swig, trying to drown out the sound of the air horn. _If the kid knows enough where she can blow the horn before they swear, what's the point of trying to censor it?_

"Another bottle Cana?" Mira giggled, looking at the other woman's tortured expression, "There very loud over-"

_**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK**_

"Another barrel's more like it, Mira," Cana groaned.

"Coming right up," Mira flounced away.

_**HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK**_

Cana winced as the sound once again assaulted her eardrums. She was going to have to drain that barrel quick. REALLY quick.

_What would ever possess a parent to ask Gajeel and Natsu to watch their kid?_ Cana wondered, finishing her bottle of whiskey.

**A/N: Dear lord that was short. I meant to make that longer but... I don't know. Sorry about that. Next one will be longer, I promise. This one was a suggestion by AMMiss. The requests are closed for now, but I'll reopen them when I finish with the ones that I've already received. Constructive criticism welcome. Pip pip cheerio.  
**


	32. Bandwagon

"Incoming!" Cobra yelled, leaping off the ledge of the pool and into the air. He curled himself into a ball, hitting the surface of the water with a huge splash.

Angel shrieked indignantly, throwing her arms up to shield her face. Cobra resurfaced and laughed loudly at her expression. Angel whipped her sunglasses off her face and flung them at the poison dragon slayer.

The sunglasses collided with Cobra's eye, bounced off, and sunk into the pool. Racer burst into laughter.

"That's what you get, moron!" Angel yelled, swinging her legs over the side of the floating raft and into the chlorinated water.

Cobra rubbed his eye and scowled. The water only came up to his elbows when he held his arm straight at his side. For Meredy though, who watched from the other end of the bean shaped pool, the water came up to her shoulders.

"Now pick up my sunglasses!" Angel screeched.

"Hell no!" Cobra yelled, splashing a wave of water in her direction. Angel responded by screaming violently and throwing her magazine at her guild mate.

Midnight barely even stirred in his sleep.

"My swimsuit's all wet now!" Angel whined, "And my hair! Screw you, Erik."

"You're the one who god damned stabbed me in the eye with your sunglasses, _Sorano_," Cobra retorted, sending another wave towards Angel.

With one last indignant shriek, Angel leaped into the water, completely submerging her light blue bikini. It had only been lightly splashed before, Meredy noted, nothing that wouldn't have dried in the sun.

Angel leaped at Cobra, who narrowly dodged out of the way. Racer laughed louder at the exchange, and Meredy giggled, spinning in her floaty.

Angel gave up her awkward half run in the water and went for full out swimming. Cobra, who'd barely had a lead in the first place, choked in panic and began swimming also. Racer took the opportunity to jump into the pool and steal Angel's floating raft.

Enraged, Angel rose to new speeds. She chased Cobra around the edge to the pool. Meredy, who'd been peacefully floating, didn't have time to register they were coming for her until they flipped over her floaty and dunked her into the water.

Meredy came up spluttering, her pink hair streaming water into her eyes. Cobra and Angel ignored her. She stood up, only her head and neck rising out of the chlorinated pool.

"Need help midget?" Racer called, laughing even harder.

Glaring at Racer with a promise to get him back for this later, Meredy did her best to push her hair out of her eyes.

Angel had caught up with Cobra. She clung on his back in a way that almost resembled a piggy-back ride. Her forearm around his neck was too tight though, and one of her hands seemed to be trying to rip the hair out of his scalp. Angel's legs were wrapped around Cobra's midsection with only slightly more force than her arm around his neck. Her heels dug into his side in a way that looked extremely painful.

"What love you have!" Hot-eye's voice chimed, loud enough that even Midnight sat up.

Just as Cobra's face had been turning a worrying shade of purple, Angel leaped away. The places she'd been gripping him were white from lack of blood.

"Hell NO!" Angel and Cobra yelled together, cringing.

"You even complete each other's sentences!" Hot-eye gushed, waving his cooking spoon in the air, "This LOVE is meant to be!"

"You're insane," Midnight cut in, sighing. He rubbed his eyes, "They'd murder each other."

"A crime of passion!" Hot-eye yelled, cutting the wooden spoon through the air and flinging bits of the chili they were going to have for dinner into the air, "Imagine the children!"

"Where the hell is your mind at?!" Racer shuddered. Cobra and Angel exclaimed once more in disgust.

An image of children with white hair and creepy grins flashed through Meredy's mind and she gagged, wishing that she could bleach her mind.

She noticed her opening, as the rest of the group seemed to have the same mental image. Racer had turned away from Meredy and was staring at Hot-eye with the same revulsion as everyone else. Meredy smirked, shaking the image out of her mind once more.

_This will teach you to flip me over and then call me a midget._

Meredy ducked under the water. Cobra, Angel, and Racer didn't even notice the pink markings that showed up encircling their wrists, so busy were they yelling a Hot-eye for his strange imagination. Meredy moved forward, creeping beneath the transparent plastic of the floating raft.

Standing up, Meredy put all the force she could muster into pushing on one side of the raft. Racer's weight protested for a second before the raft tipped and spilled the man into the chlorinated water.

Angel and Cobra began spluttering, trying to spit out water that wasn't there. Racer floundered to the surface, waving his arms and scattering small droplets of water everywhere. Cobra bent over double, gasping.

Racer stood up, shaking water off himself like a dog. He turned to look at Meredy. She stood triumphant by the upturned raft, smiling at the blond man smugly.

Jellal rounded the corner, groceries in his arms, just in time to hear Meredy declare, "This is what happens when you call me a midget. I'm average. The rest of you are all just freakishly tall."

He knew that setting up base beside a pool wouldn't be the best idea.

**A/N: ****So CS jumped on the Guild pool bandwagon, Hot-Eye is the Mirajane of the ex-convicts, and Jellal is regretting all his life decisions. Poor guy. After this chapter I'm going to start working on the requests I got. Hopefully I'll be able to get them done pretty quickly and open up the requests again. Constructive Criticism is welcome, and reviews are lovely.  
**


	33. As Written: RuneStar

Freed approached the apartment building, his heart pounding in his chest. He clutched the papers in his hand tightly. He glanced down at the elegant script covering the white paper. He'd memorized the five sheets, and was able to recite the text perfectly.

He took two steps forward, feeling the thumping in his chest just as much as he felt his feet on the cobble-stones.

_What would Laxus-sama say if he saw you behaving like this?!_ Freed yelled mentally.

He pushed on, walking towards the door. It loomed large in his vision, glaring down at him menacingly.

Before he knew it, his feet had carried him all the way to the door. He raised his hand, curling it into a fist. He hovered there, his fist in the air, crumpled paper in his other hand, feeling like a coward and an idiot.

The door swung open, and Freed was sure it was divine intervention.

A heavy set woman with a permanent scowl on her face opened the door. She gave him a once over, her spectacles flashing menacingly.

"You look weird enough," Her scowl deepened, if that was possible, "You must be here for Miss Heartfilia."

"Well, yes-" Freed began.

The woman waved him off, "You're the only one who bothers to knock, other than the short blue haired girl. I don't know how the armored one gets in. Heartfilia's room is the one on the top, all the way to the left. Let yourself in, she's used to it."

Freed nodded, slightly overwhelmed, "Thank you."

"Eh," The woman scowl grew even MORE intense, "At least you have manners, unlike that pink haired one. Breaking my window's every two days..."

Freed walked away from the overbearing woman and up the stairs where she'd directed him. He grasped the rail to still the shaking of his hands.

He walked all the way to the end of the hall and took the door all the way to the left. Surprisingly, the knob turned with no resistance. Why was the door open? He knew that she was still at the guild.

He pushed the door open and slipped inside her apartment. It was small and clean, the walls painted pink, and the floor was a pale brown wood. A rug sat in the center of the room, underneath a dark wooden table, upon which rested a delicate porcelain tea set.

Erza sat at the table, demurely taking a sip of tea. She turned to Freed, raising an eyebrow. He suddenly felt like a deer in the head-lights.

"Freed?" Erza did not seem angry, just curious, "Are you here to see Lucy? If you are, she's at the guild."

"No, not quite..." Freed glanced around nervously, crumpling the white papers in his hands further, "Actually..."

And that's how he ended up spilling his whole plan to Erza.

Lucy balanced on the edge of the canal, confusion and irritation battling in her mind.

Mirajane and Levy had been giving her strange looks, and that was nothing compared to Laxus's scrutiny. Whenever she asked Levy, the book worm would giggle, slowly descending into hysterical laughter.

She kicked a rock in her path. It sunk into the water with a satisfying splash, just inches from the usual fisherman's rowboat.

"Woah there, Lucy-chan!" They called.

Lucy waved sheepishly, "Sorry!"

She continued down the wall, quickly arriving in front of her building. She squinted at the window. Were the lights on?

She jumped off the wall and onto the street, her heels landing with a loud clop. She strode forward towards her door, twisting the knob and marching into the entrance. Her landlady sat at the table in the foyer.

"I don't know what their doing up there, but it better not be destructive," The landlady warned.

Lucy sighed. Her team-mates must have decided to visit again, "I'll tell them..."

She headed up the stairs, almost scared to open her doors and see the mess that was sure to be on the floor.

She twisted the knob, unsurprised to find it unlocked, and swung the door open.

Speechless, she froze in the doorway.

Her apartment had been transformed. The pink walls were draped in a rich navy cloth, and the light fixture had been replaced by a large, elegant chandelier. The furniture in the room had disappeared, along with her tea-set and book-shelves. The floor, even, was an elegant marble tile. Potted plants had been stationed in each corner of the room. The window was covered, and the only light in the room came from the golden chandelier.

Lucy gasped. It looked almost just like...

Freed came out from behind one of the navy velvet cloths.

Color rose high on his cheeks. He was dressed in a well tailored tuxedo, his hair pulled back in a ponytail on his head. A distinctive gilded white rose peeked out from the pocket of his tuxedo jacket.

"May I have this dance?" He swept low in a bow, extending his hand to Lucy.

_Is it...?_

"There's no music," Lucy's mouth formed the familiar line before her brain could catch up.

"But there is," Freed replied smoothly, just as Lucy had written.

Runes shimmered along the wall and song cued up, sounding like it came from the very walls of her apartment. Clair de Lune floated softly through the air.

"I'm not dressed for it," Lucy blurted.

Freed stood up and took her hand, pulling her slightly forward. Runes shimmered once again, and Lucy's clothes dissolved in a shimmer of light, reforming and becoming an elegant ball-gown that that dusted the floor. Just as she'd imagined it seemed to be speckled with stars throughout its black fabric. Her hair fell from it's half updo and rearranged itself into a French twist.

"Then I'd love to dance."

Freed pulled her to his chest, grasping her waist with one of his hands and raising her hand with his other. She rested her hand, feather light, on his shoulder.

She was easily submersed in the motions of the dance. He was an elegant dancer, and the lessons she'd taken for the first fifteen years of her life kicked in immediately. He twirled her around the room, just as she'd scripted.

The dance made her feel as if she was walking up a staircase of clouds, getting higher and higher above the ground, and above herself. She wondered if she'd hit her head as she'd came home from the guild, or this was just a crazy dream from getting hit in the head with a chair.

That would explain why Freed was here, and taking an interest in her.

She'd been trying to talk to the rune mage since Fantasia, but for just as long he'd been absorbed with Laxus, and never seemed to even notice her. The closest she'd gotten to a conversation was their fight on Tenrou-jima.

Then he broke character.

Freed dropped down onto one knee, still clasping Lucy's hand in his gloved one. In golden shimmers of light, the surroundings dissolved, leaving them in Lucy's apartment once more, away from the elegant ballroom, and the scene Lucy had drunkenly written into her book and discarded.

The tuxedo that Freed had worn shimmered and disappeared, leaving him in his normal outfit. Lucy could feel the same happening to her dress and hair.

"Lucy Heartfilia," Freed began, "I have not known you for long, and I have not talked to you many times in the past. I..."

Freed looked startled, shocked even. He floundered, color rising on his face. He looked up at her, "I forgot what I'd written."

All of a sudden, Lucy was laughing. She couldn't help the giggles that burst out of her mouth hysterically. She dropped to her knees, slightly lower than eye level with Freed.

"What did you write?" Lucy asked, giggles pouring out of her mouth for no reason she could understand.

"I wrote that..." Freed's face was turning an intense shade of red, "I wrote that I would like to ask you to give me a chance to court you, and I would be most honored if you would accept."

"I need a pen," Lucy said, her shock and happiness washing over her in waves. Her mind sent up a cry of cheer, but she didn't vocalize, keeping her face blank except for a small smile she couldn't keep off her lips.

Freed dug a pen out of his jacket, presenting it to her without a flourish. Lucy took his hand and uncapped the pen, placing the tip to the skin of his palm. She ran the pen over his skin, leaving distinct lines of black ink on the hand with his Fairy Tail mark. She pulled back.

"And I wrote yes," Lucy smiled, throwing herself at the rune mage and embracing him. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her back.

Years later, Lucy wrapped her arms around her husband, snuggling her face into his chest. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling the covers up and obscuring them further.

"Hey Freed?" Lucy murmured, her eyes fluttering half closed.

"Yes, Lucy?" He replied. She felt the vibration of his voice through his chest, the undercurrent of his heart beat giving the words a rhythm.

"How did you know about the scene I'd written into my book?" Lucy asked, referencing the day he'd decided to ask her out.

"Oh," He hummed, "I asked Mirajane for help, and Levy approached us with an idea. She gave me the pages, although I'm not sure how she came across them."

Lucy smiled, "I'm going to murder her in the morning."

"Of course you are, dear," Freed sighed fondly.

**A/N: Blonde haired, green eyed babies! Mira squeals. Blonde haired, green eyed babies! I squeal. Anyway, this one was requested by a guest for a LucyxFreed fic, with the summary 'Freed wants to act out a certain scene in Lucy's book.' I wasn't sure what that meant, and that was probably because I was (am) half asleep. So I made it fluffy! Happy Valentine's day, everyone.**


	34. Family

"So you like my sister, punk?" Sorano lifted the blond man by the collar of his coat.

He looked around, blinking from the harsh fluorescent lights overhead. The room was concrete and bare, and he sat in the only piece of furniture in the room. The silver haired woman's voice echoed through out the cavernous chamber.

"Who the hell are you?" Sting asked the glowering woman in front of him.

She leaned forward, a feral snarl fixed on her face, "I am your worst nightmare, and if you know what's good for you, you'll answer my questions."

"What's going on?" Sting asked, oblivious to the woman's threatening presence, "I was in the middle of talking to... Hey! Where's Yukino?!"

"Ah, yes..." Angel threw him back into the steel chair and pulled back, pacing in front of Sabertooth's guild master, "Yukino. The subject of our little talk today..."

"I swear to god, I've you've done ANYTHING to her," Sting growled, surging forward in his chair. The cuffs around his wrists rattled, "I will END you."

"Good protective instinct," Angel muttered, tapping her chin with her finger tip, "Well you see, Yukino is my sister. Because of this, it's my job to make sure Yukino is surrounded by only the BEST of people, you see."

"Yukino has a sister?" Sting asked, utterly lost once again.

"And this one's an idiot," Sorano groaned. She fetched a note-pad from the pocket of her dress and scrawled a note down. She re-pocketed the notebook and turned to face one of the walls.

"Meredy!" Angel yelled, hands on her hips, "We're going to their guild hall!"

"Aye, boss!" An overly cheerful voice chirped from somewhere Sting couldn't see.

Sting never got a chance to voice his confusion, though, because the silver haired woman in front of him picked up a baseball bat and cracked him over the head.

As long as he lived, he'd never forget the evil glow in her eyes.

Sabertooth was surprised, to say the least, when an intimidating silver haired woman marched through the guild hall doors while dragging their passed out guild master by the back of his coat.

The mages of the second strongest guild leaped to their feet with an outraged cry.

The woman just tossed Sting into the crowd, "Don't bother. I'm not here to hurt you... necessarily."

She zeroed in on Rogue, who was looking at his passed out partner with a mix of concern and amusement. The evil light that would give Sting nightmares for years to come reappeared in her eyes.

"You..." Angel growled, pulling her metal bat out of nowhere.

Rogue looked up, pointing to himself. Shock painted his expression. Angel's eyes narrowed in further on Rogue, looking like a wolf that's spotted it's prey. Several other Sabertooth members moved out of the way nervously.

Swinging her bat and snarling in a distinctly not angelic way, Angel advanced on the shadow dragon-slayer. Rogue backed up nervously, panicking when his back hit the edge of a table, cornering him.

"Don't think that I don't know what you did to my sister, you pervert!" Angel screeched. She raised her bat and brought it down swiftly, raining unholy justice on the man that dared to grope her little sister.

How did she know about the incident? She had her sources, one might say.

(One such source was sitting outside the Sabertooth guild hall and ignoring the panicked screams coming from within. Meredy sucked on her lollipop nonchalantly and flipped through a magazine.)

Rogue was down for the count by the time that Angel finished with him. She straightened up, her bat still brandished menacingly. Frosch waddled up to his partner, tears in his round eyes. The exceed tapped Rogue gently with his paw.

The shadow dragon-slayer groaned, his fingers twitching weakly. Frosch let out a sigh of relief and buried himself under Rogue's arm.

Angel hefted her bat in the air, over her shoulder, "Now that that's taken care of, I will be interviewing each of you."

"You two!" She snarled, a lightning infused glare landing on Rufus and Orga. The latter pressed himself into the wall, trying to hide behind a potted plant. The memory make mage began sweating profusely, hiding his face behind the book of poetry he carried with him everywhere.

Sorano's eyes narrowed on the pair of mages. Dobengal, who was more successfully hidden in the same potted plant as Orga was behind, swore he could hear them muttering prayers under their breath.

She stalked forward, the evil glint burning even more intensely.

The guild doors swung open, admitting a cheerful Yukino. She carried a pair of grocery bags in her arms.

"Hello, everyone! How are-" Yukino's eyes widened as she took in the terrified looks of her guild mates. Her eyes alighted on Sting, who'd been haphazardly thrown over the bar, and Rogue. The raven haired man's eyes were rolled back in his head. His soul flew out of his mouth.

She dropped her bags of groceries onto the floor. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

"Sting-sama?! Rogue-sama?! Is everyone okay?" Yukino scanned the room. Her eyes landed on Rufus and Orga, and made the trip to her older sister.

She took in the sight, mouth dropping open in horror, "Sorano-nee! What are you doing!"

"Ah! Yukino!" Sorano turned around, swiftly hiding the bat behind her back. She had a suspiciously guilty smile plastered over her face.

Pouting, Yukino put her hands on her hips, "What did I say about threatening my guild mates?"

"Not to..." Sorano sighed, "Since I'm here anyway, do you want to go to that café down the street?"

Yukino dropped her stern expression, clapping delightedly, "Well, no real harm was done, so I guess that would be okay!"

The younger of the Aguria's stepped forward and took her sisters arm, pulling her to the door and humming cheerfully. The elder of the two glared back at the terrified crowd they were leaving behind.

The now (supposedly, if this display was going to speak for anything) reformed dark-guild member stopped dead and glared at Minerva. The spacial manipulation mage raised an eyebrow, her face a study in disinterest, "What do you want?"

"You're not into my sister too, are you?" Angel asked.

Yukino dragged Angel out of the guild, spluttering her embarrassment.

Later, Sting would hold an ice-pack to the large goose-egg on his head and comment, "No wonder Yukino's so nice. Her sister got all the evil genes."

**A/N: This was a request by the lovely _thefourteenthdarkone _who requested Sorano interrogating Sabertooth. It was really fun to write, especially because I can totally see Angel going into Mama Bear mode in a way that would rival Erza's wrath. Meredy also made a guest appearance because of _thefourteenthdarkone._ Meredy/Angel is my brotp because of her. Drop a review if you liked it, or some constructive criticism if you didn't!**


	35. Surprise, Surprise

"Dude..."

"I know dude."

"Dude..."

"You're drunk. Shut up," Laxus growled.

The twin dragon slayers hiccuped in unison and burst into a fit of giggles. Laxus tried to avoid punching the wall.

"Dude..." Rogue slurred out again.

Laxus readied his fist, but Gajeel beat him to it, sending an iron dragon club into the side of the other slayer's head. Natsu burst into laughter, the internal heat of his body still working to burn off all the alcohol. Wendy lay dizzy on the floor.

"Can't believe Cana spiked her drink too," Gajeel growled.

"The ceiling's blurry!" Wendy cried softly, weakly trying to raise her hand.

"I can't believe he's an affectionate drunk..." Laxus replied gruffly, gesturing to Cobra where he was pressed against the door, sobbing for his 'Kinana-chan.'

Gajeel turned and gave the convict a disgusted look, "How the hell did they even find him?"

"Dude," Rogue put his hands up, a goose egg growing out of his forehead, "That chick had some Ca-razy cards!"

"Dude," Sting tried to sit up, but lost his balance and fell against the shadow dragon-slayer, "Her name is like, Tana, dude."

Rogue seemed to find this hilarious and burst out laughing, curling up on the floor with Sting sprawled on top of him. Natsu set off again, grabbing his stomach and pointing at the pair of dragon-slayer's.

"Man, I wish I had a camera!" He gasped, rolling around on the floor and nearly kicking Wendy in the face.

"WATCH WHERE YER ROLLIN' MORON!" Gajeel roared, propelling Natsu into the wall with another iron dragon club.

"Kinana-chan..." Cobra wailed.

**A/N: Do I know where this came from? Actually, for once, I do! When Guardian of Heaven requested the chapter that ended up as Get Together, this was originally going to be the beginning. I scrapped it, though.**

**I'm still working on the requests I got, but I found this in my files, and I decided to post it here. I am working though! I swear!**


	36. Tea Party

"I do say!" Lucy exclaimed, lifting her tea-cup and raising her pinkie up into the air.

Freed sat so straight in his chair, one would think his spine was a yard stick. He lifted his delicate porcelain tea-cup into the air, his hand mimicking Lucy's.

"I must agree, my good miss!" He raised the cup to his lips and sipped calmly.

Neither of them blinked when a vodka bottle from the near by brawl passed over their heads and crashed into the far wall.

"The weather today is simply divine," Lucy proclaimed as shards of glass splashed into her tea. She placed the cup down on the saucer and served herself a scone instead.

Laxus watched, his eye twitching repeatedly. He scrutinized the pair, trying to contain his urge to throw his sound pod at their head. Where did Lucy even get that dress anyway? She was wearing a mini-skirt when she came in!

Speaking of which, where the hell did that tea-set come from?!

And what was Freed wearing?! A ridiculous red coat, a sword, and was that a cravat?

Oh wait. He wore that everyday.

"Your company is what is divine, Miss Lucy," Freed responded, easily. He set his tea-cup down onto its saucer and folded his hands on the table.

Laxus swore that vase of flowers wasn't there a moment ago. Speaking of which, where was that chirping coming from?

"Mister Justine," Lucy blushed, raising a hand to her lips and looking away demurely, "That comment was highly inappropriate!"

Seriously, Laxus wondered, where was that bird?

"Ah, but Miss Lucy, I spoke the truth," Freed caught Lucy's hand in his, leaning across the table. The air around the two shimmered, before bursting into full blown sparkles.

And that bird had apparently gotten a friend, because the chirping had increased both in volume and frequency.

Laxus was so confused. Laxus did not like being confused.

"That's it!" Laxus roared, marching over to their little tea party and slamming his hands down on the table. The porcelain dishes jumped, "What the hell's wrong with you two?! This is Fairy Tail! You're supposed to be brawling or something, not having a god-damn tea party!"

Lucy squeaked an jumped away from the lightning dragon-slayer. The sparkles dissipated rapidly. Freed burst into melodramatic tears. He latched onto Laxus's arm and began apologizing for 'upsetting Laxus-sama.'

Laxus was still confused.

Even more so because all the dishes on the table had vanished.

And that stupid bird was still chirping.

**A/N: Who needs sleep? Not me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. JK I need lots of sleep. **

** This one was a piece of crack (see what I did there?), but when I heard the request from Lolita-girl-765 my brain just went 'Tea party!' You can consider this chapter following my heart.**

** Also, if you like cracky and hilarious fanfictions, you should read thefourteenthdarkone's Land of the Broships. If you're a fan of MidnightxLucy fics, you should read AMMiss's Ladyship. **

** And now I'm going to take a much needed nap. Goodnight and God Bless.**


	37. Quiet: RoLu

Crashing was often the sound that Rogue would wake up to. He'd stumble out of bed and onto the floor, dragging himself through the door and down the hall, only to find that Sting would yet AGAIN be in his house, rifling through his pots and pans and failing miserably at making himself a fried egg.

Rogue would drag himself to his feet, make his incompetent partner breakfast, and then he wouldn't get another moment of peace for the rest of the day.

Lucy's day usually started a little bit more violently, with Natsu and Happy dragging her out of bed, or alternatively, kicking her out of bed in their sleep. She'd tumble on to the floor, awake instantly. Then, to complete the morning routine, she'd scream at them, calm down, apologize, and make them something to eat before they headed off to the guild.

From there, it was constant chaos, only magnified by the sheer number of lunatics that called Fairy Tail their home.

And sometimes, maybe on the weekend, maybe a holiday, it would get louder than ever and Rogue would politely excuse himself from Sabertooth's chaos and go for a walk, because sometimes all he needed was peace and quiet.

And Lucy usually enjoyed the vivid, lively atmosphere of her family, but there were days when she just needed to get out, and think, because Mavis knows that Fairy Tail isn't the best place for introspection. So she'd tell Natsu she wanted to go for a walk, and if he showed any sign of arguing, she'd trip him and pretend it was Gray. While they brawled, she'd make a quick escape, out into Magnolia, and she'd take a walk and just breathe, enjoying the quiet.

So it comes to no surprise that when Rogue walked a little too far, and Lucy was a little too tipsy and boarded the midnight train to somewhere or another, that they found each other, and they clicked, because a quiet soul needs a quiet soul and sometimes, where they came from-

It was just too damn loud.

**A/N: I'm drowning in sad RoLu feels (looking at you, Dragon'sHost) which is probably why this isn't up to my usual crack standard. *Shrugs * What can you do? **

** Anyway, this was a request from Under Celestial Stars. I'm sorry if this wasn't what you wanted, ;-; but this is what my mind was saying. If you want it redone, then just PM me and I'll get that done stat. **

** I've got a few more requests, but those will be done soon! Thank you and goodnight.**


	38. House Warming

The moment that he saw Minerva's face, Sting Eucliffe knew that he was royally screwed. R-O-Y-A-L-L-Y.

He attempted an innocent smile, hiding a surprisingly large pair of boy-shorts behind his back. Not that he'd ever voice that particular thought about them. No, he was royally screwed, but he didn't have to get violently murdered, too. He dropped the panties and kicked them away, under the four poster bed.

Minerva did not look amused.

Sting forced his grin wider, trying to ignore the sweat dripping down the sides of his neck. He vaguely wondered if he could manage to make it to the window in time to jump out. He'd be more likely to survive.

"Care to explain why you're trespassing in my house?" Minerva smiled venomously.

Sting could tell she didn't care if he explained. He was going to get dismembered either way.

It did raise the question, though. Why did he think this was a good idea anyway? And why did Rogue, Rufus, and Orga come along?

A better question was; Why didn't they stop Sting?!

"Well you see..." Sting chuckled nervously, trying to stall until he could think of an excuse that wouldn't get the whole group mutilated terribly, "I... uh..."

Would she spare him if he pretended he was drunk? That worked on Lucy Heartfilia when he broke into her house to find Natsu...

But then again he actually was drunk that time.

"We wanted to give you a house warming gift," Sting blurted, before he could realize that they had no house-warming gift to give her, "Since you just moved back and all, so we thought that your house must have been... very... empty... and you might need stuff?"

"Who exactly is 'we?'" Minerva tapped her foot impatiently.

Sting cursed under his breath. How many people was he going to throw under the bus?

"Me and Rogue," Sting supplied.

His enhanced dragon-slayer hearing picked up a long string of muffled curses from his partner in the other room.

"Just you and Rogue?" Minerva asked, the venom in her smile turned into icy steel, "Then why are Rufus and Orga here, too?"

Sting shrugged, honestly perplexed himself. He didn't even know why he was here, "Beats me."

Minerva raised her eyebrow in distaste, "Really, Sting?"

"Well..." Sting started, but was swiftly cut off by a loud, worrying thud from the living room. It was followed by the sound of breaking glass.

Minerva went as rigid as stone. She turned to Sting, the death glare on her face promise of a kind of pain he'd never known before. She whipped her head towards her bedroom entrance and crossed to the threshold swiftly, throwing open the door. It hit the other side of the wall with a loud crashing sound, the handle more likely than not leaving a hole in the plaster.

Eyes widened with shock, Minerva looked into the middle of what had been a pristine living room. Rogue, Rufus, and Orga stood in a circle around a crushed wicker basket. The basket was large, big enough to hold Rogue, Lector, and Frosch, provided they curl up in a fairly uncomfortable way. Instead, though, of the three other Sabertooth members, a collection of champaign bottles, bedsheets, throw pillows, and various kitchen appliances spilled out of the crushed wicker.

The three men in Minerva's living room froze, guilty smiles plastered on their faces.

"You... you..." Minerva trembled, her hands fisted at her sides.

Sting retreated further into the bedroom. Rogue scooped up Frosch and Lector and subtly backed towards the door. Rufus chuckled nervously, pulling down the brim of his hat to hide behind. Orga attempted the same course of action as Rogue, but far more obviously.

"You actually got me a house warming present?" Minerva looked up, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She brushed her finger under her eye, swiping the moisture away, "That... I'm really..."

"It's no problem," Sting grinned, lacing his fingers behind his head. He didn't know how the wicker basket got there, but he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"You didn't have to, really," Minerva looked back at Sting, then into the living room once again at Rogue, Rufus and Orga, "Do you want some coffee or anything?"

"No!"

Surprisingly, the shout came from Rogue. Rufus and Orga nodded vehemently in agreement.

Minerva looked completely taken aback. Sting frowned, "Why not? It's not like-"

A shadow raised itself from the bedroom floor, wrapping around Sting's mouth like a gag and cutting him off before he could complete his protest. Sting flailed, trying to claw off the magical gag.

Rufus cleared his throat, averting his eyes from his distressed guild-master, "What Rogue means to say is we have an appointment with Yukino, and we wouldn't want to be late."

"If you say so..." The glint of suspicion reemerged in Minerva's eyes, but she let it pass, "Just so you know, of course, if you tell anyone that I cried over this then I will castrate you."

"Fro thinks so to!" Frosch chimed from Rogue's arms.

"We'll be going, then," Rufus smiled tightly, "Wouldn't want to be late for... our... meeting with... Yukino..."

Sting dropped through a shadow and reemerged standing by Rogue. His crimson eyed partner shot him a baleful gaze over his shoulder.

The group of four, plus two exceeds, started to the door of Minerva's apartment, the aforementioned woman eying them suspiciously. Orga opened the door and the rest stumbled out, Sting being forcefully pulled out by Rogue's grip on his sleeve.

Rogue dissolved his gag when they were roughly a quarter mile away from Minerva's house. Sting tugged his arm from Rogue's grip and spun to face the company.

"Why couldn't we have stayed for coffee?" Sting gestured back in the direction of Minerva's apartment, "She was being nice for once!"

"Sting," Rogue tapped his foot with an air of thinning patience, "We didn't have a gift basket when we arrived at Minerva's house."

"Oh yeah! Why were we there anyway?" Sting asked.

"Because you decided that you were curious about where Minerva lived and decided to visit. The rest of us mistakenly didn't want you to get murdered," Rogue massaged his temples.

"So that's what it was. Now that Minerva's not trying to murder me, I can kind of remember that," Sting shrugged, "So where did we get that basket from anyway?"

"Memory make: House-warming gift," Rufus recited.

A wicker basket identical to the one in Minerva's house appeared five feet off the ground. It crashed to the cobblestones, scattering champaign and throw pillows across the length of the street. One of the bottles shattered, leaving a mess of light pink alcohol in a puddle on the ground. Another one rolled to a stop against Sting's foot.

"Doesn't that mean it's going to disappear, though?" Sting asked.

As if to answer his question, a shriek of rage rose up from down the street.

**A/N: So that was random. XanetteLife wanted to see Sting, Rogue, Orga, Rufus, Lector and Frosch break into Minerva's house. I did my best to comply, even though Lector didn't really get more than a mention... Sorry about that.**

**Goodbye and Goodnight from (one of the) Empress(es) of Anarchy.**


	39. Intruders

Lucy hummed contentedly in the warm cocoon of her sheets. Sunlight spilled through her window and glowed behind her closed eyelids. The quiet in her room was interrupted only by the fluttering of paper on her desk, sheets of her novel being stirred ever so slightly by the warm spring breeze coming in through her cracked open window. The clean smell of the wind outside permeated her apartment.

She rolled onto her back, letting the hazy golden sunlight hit her face full on. She threw her forearm over her forehead, sighing and breathing deeply in the peaceful atmosphere. Sensing greater warmth to her left, Lucy rolled over onto her side. She pressed up against something firmer than her sheets and snugged into it, relishing the warmth and comfort of her position. Whatever she was curled up against moved, draping an arm over her waist. She relaxed into the embrace, letting out a small, childlike mewl of content.

_Wait a minute... I closed the window and put my novel away last night._

_ AND THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY BED!_

Lucy shot to a sitting position, dislodging the arm draped snuggly over her torso. She prepared herself to launch the usual spiel at Natsu, even as she knew that it would have absolutely no effect on his habits. But a girl had to try, right? She looked over at her unexpected bed mate, opening her mouth to start her speech. The hair that poked out from under her pink comforter, however, was not a familiar shade of sakura blossom pink.

It was a pale blond.

Shrieking, Lucy rolled off her bed and landed with a thump on her hardwood floor. The sheets of her bed were tangled thoroughly around her legs, barely allowing her to move. She flailed wildly, trying to kick the lengths of fabric away from her limbs.

"Are you alright?" An impassive voice sounded from somewhere on her left, above her.

Lucy screamed again, kicking free of the covers, finally, and jumping to her feet. She lashed out with a kick, using the location of the voice before to aim. She was rewarded, as her toes connected with something firm. The man let out a pained 'oof!'

Breathing hard, Lucy leaped for her keys where she'd left them on her nightstand. Her fingers encircled the leather pouch and in one smooth motion, she removed the first key her hand hit. It was Cancer, her brain supplied, distantly.

"Lucy! Wait!"

Was coupled with a double cry of:

"Don't kill Rogue, Fairy-San!"

Lucy froze, recognizing the trio of voices. The soft, squeaky one, the slightly arrogant, still high pitched one, the spiky blond hair peeking out from under her covers, and then the impassive voice all clicked into place.

"You guys!" She screamed, primarily at Rogue and Sting. The two exceeds were too cute for her to get truly angry at, "HOW MANY times have I told you to STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE?!"

"Would you be quiet?" Sting's voice, muffled by Lucy's pillow and his own half-asleep state, grumbled, "Some of us are trying to sleep in here, baby-doll."

Lucy's fingers twitched, a side effect of the immense self control she was displaying in not leaping onto her bed and strangling the White dragon-slayer where he lay. She reined in her anger, closing her fists and gritting her teeth at his use of the pet name he knew she hated, "Sleep in MY BED, in MY HOUSE, when you either HAVE YOUR OWN OR NEED TO GET ONE!"

"God you're loud," Sting muttered, rolling over and resettling under the bed sheets he'd retrieved while Lucy wasn't watching. He once again became a tuft of blond hair sticking out from beneath a blanket.

"So help me, Sting Eucliffe-" Lucy began hyperventilating, "I will END you."

"You don't mean that, Fairy-san," Lector laughed nervously, all too familiar with the rage that the blonde celestial mage displayed the last time the Sabertooth gang had stopped by unexpectedly at her house.

Lucy whipped around to glare at the russet red cat, only to catch sight of a very incriminating sack of papers in the hand of the shadow dragon-slayer. Her rage intensified to the point where she could feel a vein pulsing on her forehead. She shut her eyes tightly and gritted her teeth.

"Rogue, please tell me that isn't what I think it is..." Lucy growled.

"What do you think it is?" Rogue asked, a hint of nervousness underneath his impassive tone.

"YOU'RE READING MY BOOK AGAIN!" Lucy shouted, launching another kick at the shadow dragon-slayer's face. He dodged, narrowly, but Lucy grabbed him by the collar of his cloak and shoved him onto the bed. His elbow connected with Sting's face, and the blond man shot up with an indignant cry. Pages of Lucy's novel scattered across the room.

With one last shriek of rage, Lucy kicked both mages out of the open window. She turned back to the two exceeds looking uncomfortable on the other side of the room, and instantly felt an ember of guilt worm its way through her gut. She smiled at the two, though, too exhausted to go after the Twin Dragon's and apologize. She collapsed back into bed.

"There's food in the kitchen if you want to eat something..." Lucy yawned, "And you can always go after your partners. Just so you know, Natsu and Happy are going to be here to disturb the peace any second...

"And before you ask, Lector, Wendy and Charle aren't coming over today."

**A/N: So this is Intruders, the long overdue follow up to Visitors. Who's going to visit Lucy's house next? And who's actually going to be invited there, seriously.**

**I'm working on the requests I got last chapter right now, so requests are closed.**


	40. Open Bar Night

It was open bar night at Fairy Tail, the one night each month that anyone and everyone was invited to have a drink with the rowdy number one guild in Fiore. It wasn't unusual for over one hundred people to find their way to the Fairy Tail guild hall. All the members would push the tables and chairs up against the wall or down the stairs into storage, they'd clear the floor off all debris, and they'd commandeer some alcohol from Cana's secret stash to ensure they'd have enough for all the guests. Mira would enlist Kinana, Lisanna, and Lucy to tend the bar with her, and then they'd open the doors and let the citizens in. On any given open bar night, the guild hall was full to capacity.

Normally, the more solitary members of Fairy Tail, namely Laxus, Gajeel, and Freed would stay home, and Carla absolutely forbid Wendy from taking part in the insanity, and so the girls would pack her a box of sugared treats and maybe a couple little doohickeys that they picked up on their missions so that she wouldn't feel that bad about missing the party.

This night was different, Lucy noted.

Gajeel stood in his usual corner, sending death glares at anyone who seemed remotely inclined to approach him. His presence, though, was largely unnoticed. Lucy had caught Mira glancing at him speculatively, but Lisanna and Kinana remained oblivious for all appearances.

Lucy set the glass of cherry shots on the counter and pocketed the stack of jewels that the customer, a tall man Lucy didn't recognize, had placed on the wooden bar. He winked at her and Lucy smiled, blowing him a kiss and discretely adding a tally mark to the notebook she had strapped at her hip.

_If __Cana thinks that more guys were gonna hit on her, she's got another thing coming__._

"Hey, bar-tender!" Another citizen called from down the bar, "Two martinis, over here!"

"Coming right up!" Lucy called back. She selected the glasses off the wall and scooped up the bottles of gin and dry vermouth. _Property of Cana Alberona_, was written in large, block letters over the labels on the alcohol. _Not anymore_, Lucy thought as she poured the alcohol over a glass of ice. She sealed the jar and shook it, then strained the alcohol into the glasses she'd selected. She plopped in a garnish with a flourish and slid them over to the bar for the two who'd ordered them.

"Thanks, beautiful!" The one who'd ordered called. Lucy smirked and added a tally.

"Hey, Lu-chan! Can I get a virgin mojito?" Levy called from down the bar. Lucy's small friend had her nose buried in a book and was sitting on a stool in the more quiet corner of the bar. Her voice was nearly drowned out by the rest of the noise in the guild hall. People clamored for attention, the four girls were hard pressed to serve all the customers at the bar.

Lucy pulled out the ingredients from under the bar, tossing them into the glass and remembering to leave out the rum. She carried the drink to the other end of the bar, setting it down in front of Levy.

The petite blunette looked up from her book and smiled at her blonde friend, "How's your tally going, Lu-chan?"

"It's going great, Levy-chan!" Lucy's words were nearly drowned out by a wail from Juvia. _Someone's flirting with Gray again,_ Lucy sighed, leaning on the bar. Lucy heard a panicked outcry from Gray, presumably as Juvia latched onto him and began crying. _Why haven't we banned her from alcohol yet?_

"Really? How many do you have?" Levy asked, completely ignoring the commotion.

"I've made it to ninety eight already," Lucy proclaimed proudly.

"Wow! Good job, Lu-chan," Levy smiled, humoring her friend, "But I think that someone's looking for you..."

Lucy turned around, finding Natsu waving at her from down the bar. Lucy left Levy's corner of the bar and made for Natsu, leaving her friend alone with her book and mojito. She grabbed a couple of glasses and poured a couple of beers for some of the customers that she passed, exchanging winks and compliments with a couple of the men. She added three tallies to her notebook.

"What's up, Natsu?" She asked her friend. She leaned on the bar, alleviating some of the pressure on her feet. She kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes, letting her feet breathe.

"You've been ignoring me all night!" He whined, flopping down over the bar. He peered up at Lucy giving her his best puppy dog eyes. Lucy felt her heart melt in her chest, "I'm bored!"

Lucy steeled herself against all sympathy. She crossed her arms, standing up straight. She picked up a glass that had been set down on the counter by a previous customer and grabbed a wet rag from behind her. She wiped down the glass, "I can't do anything right now! I promised Mira that I'd help out with the bar tonight. I won't leave."

Of course, the fact that Lucy was getting paid for her services certainly helped to reassure her of her decision. Also her bet with Cana. For some reason, barely anyone flirted with her when she was with Natsu...

"I need to go get some stuff from the back, and put the money in the register," She told Natsu, setting the clean glass on the rack behind the bar, "So don't start anything! Master's going to be really angry if you hit a civilian or something."

Natsu grumbled out something that sounded like 'fine,' and pressed his cheek against the bar. Lucy knew that she'd come back out to find that he'd started several fights with Gray and discovered Gajeel in the corner and provoked him into putting an iron bar through someone's head.

Lucy spun on her heel and marched to the doors that lead to the guild kitchen. She brushed past Kinana. They shared an equally exhausted and exasperated look and went their separate ways, Kinana to tend the bar with the take-over sisters, and Lucy to the relative peace and quiet of the kitchen and unofficial break room.

The blonde took a deep breath and leaned against the door. The voices outside became muffled, and Lucy could no longer make out individual words. Lucy realized that she'd left her shoes outside, on the other side of the kitchen door. She didn't feel very inclined to retrieve them.

Groaning, Lucy pushed off the door and forced herself to standing. The soles of her feet ached, and Lucy knew that they'd be sore in the morning. She sighed, but dragged herself to the register to deposit the money from her pockets. She was glad she'd had the sense to separate her tips from the actual payments, so she didn't have to worry about that now.

She finished depositing the money and grabbed a new bottle of vodka from the counter. The label was scrawled over as many of the other's were, proclaiming _'Property of Cana Alberona.'_

Lucy crossed the kitchen again, pushing through the swinging door and back into the chaos of the main hall. The noise hit her once again, nearly pushing her back like a physical wall. Lucy shook off the sensation and deposited the vodka on the rack and looked around. She found, just as she'd predicted, that Natsu had picked a fight with Gray and they were brawling on the floor while Juvia drunkenly sobbed for her 'Gray-sama' off to the side.

Scanning the bar area for anyone looking for a drink, Lucy's eyes landed on the quiet corner where Levy sat.

Levy still sat at her seat, and the book still lied open in front of her. A tall, leering guy had sidled up to her, though, and she looked immensely uncomfortable. The man held a drink in his hand and he leaned in close to Lucy's petite friend, muttering something in her ear. He rested a hand on the blunette's shoulder. Lucy puffed up with rage at the man's behavior, and she prepared to march over and give him a piece of her mind.

She'd taken her first step when Gajeel came up behind the man hitting on Levy. Gajeel grabbed the guy by his shoulder and pulled him away from the bookworm. Growling, Gajeel spun the man the man around so they stood face to face. Gajeel leaned in, snarling. From her position, Lucy caught a glimpse of Gajeel's hand morphing into an iron knife, which he held up to the man threateningly.

The lecher did the smart thing. Instead of challenging the Iron dragon-slayer's threat, he turned tail and ran to the other end of the hall as fast as physically possible.

Gajeel bent down so he was at Levy's eye level. She smiled at him, slipping her book mark into her open book and closing the novel. Lucy saw her mouth form the words 'thank you.' Gajeel nodded at her and plopped down on the empty stool beside her. Levy propped up her chin on her palm, still facing the gruff mage attentively. Gajeel crossed his arms, subtly scanning the bar. His red eyes landed on Lucy, and he gave her a brief nod before calling out.

"Oi! Bunny-girl! Shrimp and I are gonna take two beers!" He yelled.

Levy squeaked out a protest, "Says who?! I don't want any alcohol! And don't call me shrimp, either!"

"I won't call you that when you ain't a shrimp, shrimp," Gajeel retorted.

Lucy retrieved a bottle of beer and a lemonade from one of the coolers. She crossed to the other end of the bar and deposited them in front of Levy and Gajeel. Levy thanked her, and Gajeel briefly nodded at her before he did another scan of the bar. He caught a man coming toward Levy and glared at him. The man swiftly turned around and left.

Choking down a laugh, Lucy took her notebook and pen off her belt, "Hey Gajeel?"

"Hnn," Was his form of a response to her question. His attention was solely riveted on Levy, Lucy could tell.

"Can I count the nickname as you flirting with me? I mean, you're obviously not, but Cana and I have a bet and I really can't lose," Lucy explained, waving her notebook in the air. Gajeel cut off her wild pinwheeling with a single raised eyebrow.

_Can they really be called eyebrows when they're just iron studs embedded in his face?_ Lucy wondered.

"Do what you want, bunny-girl," Gajeel rolled his eyes and leaned subtly closer to Levy. Lucy bit back a snicker and turned on her heel, flouncing away to the other end of the bar and adding a tally to her notebook while she walked. Lucy noticed a woman at the other end of the bar waving for her attention. She nodded at the woman, showing her she was coming.

"Excuse me?" The woman asked. She rose her voice to speak over the clamor in the hall, "Can I have a vodka on the rocks? And maybe your number?"

Lucy's eyes skirted over the crowd, settling on the salmon hair of her best friend, "Thank you, but no thank you. I can still get you the vodka, though."

"I'll settle," the woman shrugged.

Lucy smiled, grabbing the glass and the ice from under the counter. Mira passed behind her, probably on her way to serve another costumer. Lucy dumped the ice in the glass and poured the vodka in after, passing it to the woman. She placed a couple of crumpled bills on the counter and Lucy scooped them up and deposited them in her pocket before she swept away. She gave the woman one last friendly nod.

Her mind once again on her aching feet as she moved, Lucy freed the notebook from her belt and added a tally. She was up to one hundred and four now. No way Cana had caught up to her.

Lucy leaned back against the wall behind the bar. She scanned the hall, but found that Kinana, Lisanna, and Mira had managed to satisfy the customers for the moment. Lucy took a pause to breathe. She turned to face the corner where she'd left Gajeel and Levy, semi-curious to see if they were still pretending not to enjoy one another's company. The situation was quite different then what Lucy had expected, though.

Several women, most of them clearly intoxicated, were crowding around Gajeel. One of them hung openly on his arm, pressing herself to him provocatively. Gajeel sipped his beer, completely disinterested. Levy, though, in the next seat, was simmering with rage. Her small hands gripped the sides of her book in a death grip, threatening to tear the pages where she held them. She turned to the crowd around Gajeel, fixing each and every one of the women with a glare that could melt steel. The small blunette stood up, knocking her stool backwards, and pushed several of the women out of the way.

She marched straight to Gajeel through the new gap in the crowd. He looked at her questioningly and she grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket. She pulled him forward, slamming her lips against his.

Lucy recoiled in shock, and several of the other guild members let out wolf whistles, having clearly noticed the scene in the quiet corner. Levy looked as if she was close to pulling away, but Gajeel overcame his shock and leaned forward, cupping the back of her neck and wrapping his arm around her waist. Their kiss deepened. Lucy felt a second hand blush rise on her cheeks.

The women that had crowded around Gajeel hurriedly backed off. Lucy heard a low whistle from behind her, and she turned around, seeing Cana leaning up against the bar.

"Holy... I knew that they had _something _built up, but nothing like that," The brunette remarked, "I can't help but wish someone would kiss ME like that."

"Yeah..." Lucy sighed, her eyes wandering over the crowd in the bar and landing on the salmon haired head of her best friend. She pulled them away, and back to Cana at the bar, "One hundred and four tallies. You?"

"God damn, I only got ninety seven," Cana cursed. She dug a thick stack of Jewels out of her purse and threw it on the counter. Lucy slipped it into her pocket. Cana refocused her attention on the couple still making out at the bar.

"GET A ROOM!" She called.

**A/N: Gajevy, by the request of CanadianAspiringAuthor. I hope you liked it! I added in some hinted at NaLu, cause I was really feeling them today for some reason, I guess.**

**REQUESTS ARE CLOSED. PLEASE _DO NOT_ SEND ANY IN.**


	41. Untitled

Lyon raced up the fire escape that clung to the edge of the tall building. He could hear the footsteps of the man he was pursuing above him, thundering against the metal stairs. Lyon tried to get a fix on his position, but the echoes generated by the metal stairs clamored around the alley, making it impossible for Lyon to try a targeted attack.

He put on a burst of speed. He estimated position to be about the thirteenth floor out of fifteen, and the man he was chasing was roughly one story above him. Lyon raced around the corner, barely keeping his balance. He raced up the next flight of stairs. The metal clamoring had ceased, telling Lyon that the man had emerged onto the roof. Lyon growled, taking the turn and running up the last flight of stairs.

There was a tremendous thump from above Lyon's head. He turned the last corner, breathing hard, only to find the man he was chasing passed out on the ground, a great red goose-egg swelling out of his forehead.

Shocked, Lyon looked up from his intended target.

Seven people sat at a small round table. The table was covered by a lacy, pale pink table cloth. Periwinkle porcelain ware sat on top of the table, filled with amber tea. A tea-pot was placed in the middle of the table, piping steam into the cool autumn air. The table looked extremely out of place on top of the dirt strewn industrial roof top, but not as out of place as the seven people that sat at the seven seats.

The first one Lyon really noticed was the six foot tall man with the orange hair that looked like it could easily double as a broom. He looked positively ecstatic to be at the tea-party and was talking to a shorter, young looking woman with her cherry pink hair pulled up into a high pony-tail. She wore a red trimmed dress under her dark cloak. Sitting next to the pink haired woman was another woman, this one with silver hair and angel-wings attached to her dress. She had her cloak draped across her lap. She sipped from her tea-cup and looked at Lyon, her eye-brow raised. On the other side of the table, a dark haired man with a scar marring the right side of his face. He was glaring daggers at the pink haired woman, and occasionally glanced nervously at the silver haired woman. Sitting next to him and looking irritated and incredulous sat a tall, spiky haired blond man with an extremely large and prominently hooked nose. The goggles over his eyes did nothing to hide his strangely spiked eyebrows. A man with two toned hair appeared to be sleeping in one of the seats. Was it Lyon, or did he just... flicker?

"You're Oracion Seis!" Lyon yelled, shifting into a fighting stance, "Plus... two guests? What the hell?!"

The last man turned towards Lyon. He had a long suffering expression painted over his face. Blue hair stuck up all over his head, and he had a distinctive, dark red tattoo under and above his right eye. He shook his head at Lyon, "Please don't ask."

On the other side of the table, the girl with the pink hair giggled in a way that made shivers run up Lyon's spine.

**A/N: This was an idea that came up while I was talking to _thefourteenthdarkone_. It's kind of a reference to her story, _Land of the Broships_. But yeah. Lyon is scarred for life now. And Jellal's just done.**

_**REQUESTS ARE STILL CLOSED.**_


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